When a Women Follows Christ: How to Live All-In

Or Simple Titled: All In

When a Woman Follows Christ, written by a Christian who is still learning and often failing. I often feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, which is why I must run even harder after Christ. Many times I regret putting my name on books because I'm so unspectacular, and so ordinary, that I feel like I will let down anyone who meets me in person. So I say that for two reasons. 1.) Please never expect me to be anything but another Christian on the journey of life with you, on our way to heaven. 2.) Don't think that being ALL-IN means something it doesn't. It may mean being completely unknown, unnoticed, and what you might consider "unused." But what God defines as fruitful and radical is not what we often define as fruitful. (See 2 Peter 1:5-8)

Chapter 1: Making Life Count

Cool, salted ocean air blew against my face. A beautiful day with perfect weather surrounded me. The Pacific Ocean was less than a mile away, and I felt absolutely… ready to quit. My exhausted legs kept cycling but all I could think about was food. My dad and I had already covered twenty-five miles and my body ached from the long ride. My twelve year old mind cared very little about the accomplishment of riding to the beach.

We’d left early that Saturday morning and rode to the Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Anaheim, California, where we got on a bike trail straight to the beach. The morning wore on, the day heated up and lunchtime came. And passed. And my stomach grew hungrier. I began looking forward to arriving at the beach for only one reason—my dad had planned for us to eat lunch at the beach.

Another couple hours passed, but we still had a ways to go. According to Google, a bike ride of twenty-six miles should only take about two or three hours, but I must have been slow.

There was nothing I wanted more than to arrive at that beach. I did not care about the sweat, or that my leg muscles burned, or that in one mile we would arrive at the beach. I just wanted to eat. The warm Capri Suns and water from my dad’s thermos just were not helping. They actually made me crave ice water and restaurant food more. My hunger took the joy out of riding and overshadowed everything else.

My dad pressed me to keep going. He reminded me how close we were. But I had lost sight of why we really needed to arrive at the beach. After failing to persuade me to keep riding, my dad finally agreed to let us stop, and we found an outdoor patio at a KFC, one mile from the beach.

My dad also realized that I wouldn’t make it back home, so he called my mom (from a payphone, in those days) and she came with my sisters to pick us up. And that was the end of the ride. I never reached the goal.

I gave up before the finish line. I didn’t see why it mattered if we reached the beach or not, so I decided to quit. I road for twenty-five miles and gave up.

***

Life can be a bit like a bike ride, an exhausting, difficult bike ride, rotating between gorgeous scenic views and long, painful stretches of nothingness. Trials can come suddenly and make us feel that it would be almost impossible to keep riding on our current path. Marriage problems, financial trouble, emotional despair, unbearable pressure, weariness, and the mundaneness of everyday life can make us feel like we are riding a stationary bike in one painful, unchanging spot, very far from any successful finish line.

And just like a bike ride on an empty stomach after twenty-five miles, I can feel exhausted as I struggle to live a life that is both holy and filled with grace, fully devoted to Christ and yet filled with daily struggles and responsibilities. I don’t want the things of this world to consume my life and then realize one day that I missed intimacy with Christ. I’m scared to think about finishing life one mile from the beach, running the race to win and falling asleep before the finish line. Because when I think of what it means to follow Christ—to live in such a way that I please Him—I know that nothing matters more. Nothing has a greater value.

I have the desire to live for Christ, to be wholeheartedly committed. But then I struggle with feeling like I’m not making it, like my life doesn’t count. I ask myself, “I’m I doing okay? Would others in my position succeed where I am failing? Is there something more remarkable that I should be doing? Something that would really make me a good Christian?”

I don’t want to get caught up in comparing myself to others, but even little things distract me. I will find myself wondering if other moms have a clean house after a day of focused homeschooling. If maybe they are so on top of things that dust and a random kid’s necklace and a pen cap and two playing cards are not under their bedroom dresser. Then I become consumed with how I am failing in one area and totally lose sight of what really matters.

For some women, their house is spotless, but they may struggle with their body, or the words they say and wish they could take back, or an anger problem, or bitterness and unforgiveness, or anxiety from a financial situation, or any number of other things. I know that most women deal with something. We struggle with a fault or an expectation we’ve put on ourselves or others have placed on it, and it keeps us aware of our failure.

And on those days, I feel like I’m falling short of everything. I feel like I somewhat keep my house clean and somewhat study my Bible and somewhat homeschool and somewhat cook healthy meals and somewhat keep in touch with people and somewhat write and speak and there is not enough of me to do anything very well.

I feel discouraged, depressed even, when I let my heart dwell too long on all the things that are not as I think they should be. But my heart remembers God is faithful, and I am comforted. I remember that He promises to give wisdom to those who ask. And I have asked! Probably five times a day for the past eighteen or nineteen years. All day long I pray that God would help me, show me what to do, and give me the strength to do it. I know that He began a good work in me and that HE will be faithful to complete it.[1] He takes responsibility for my walk with Him—He calls Himself both the author and the finisher of my faith.[2] So I trust His goodness in my life.

I know God also calls me to be fully committed, to make every effort to take hold of the goal of knowing Christ and being made like Him, because Christ Jesus has also taken hold of me.[3] Though Christ is doing the work in me, I know that I must also give myself wholly to Him. I am responsible to make the best use of my time, to understand what God wants for me.[4]

This theme runs throughout all of what it means to follow Christ. Just becoming a Christian is not the end, but the beginning of a pursuit in which we follow after Jesus and seek to know Him.

A.W.Tozer wrote “To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love, scorned indeed by the too-easily-satisfied religionist, but justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart…Come near to the holy men and women of the past and you will soon feel the heat of their desire after God. They mourned for Him, they prayed and wrestled and sought for Him day and night, in season and out, and when they had found Him the finding was all the sweeter for the long seeking.” [5]

And I want to do my very best. I want to follow Christ as He intends for me to follow Him. My heart aches for Him, and yet sometimes all my desire gets clouded by baskets of clean laundry waiting to get put away and all the homeschool books we still haven’t finished this year and everything else that still isn’t done. Maybe you can relate to a heart that desires God, that wants to follow Christ wholeheartedly, and yet you wonder how you can “pray and wrestle and seek for Him day and night” when there is always so much to do.

And therein lies the message of the book—how can we as women, overwhelmed with duties and expectations, follow Christ in such a way that we make our lives count for eternity? We will look at what it means to follow Christ when life isn’t as simple as living alone on top of a hill. We’ll explore how to make our lives count for eternity in whatever role, position, or difficulties define them. We will examine how to have vision for eternity even on those days when simply getting up, or caring for kids or parents, or not quitting your job, or paying bills, or just coping with life take every bit of effort. We will talk about what it means to follow Christ, to live radically for Him, and how life with Christ is not about a “grand calling” or a glorious ministry or … I want to realign our vision with what is truly glorious, so that instead of searching for that illusive calling that we feel we are missing out on, the life we want, just out of reach, we are content with what God is currently doing and we pursue…

A RACE TO WIN

“Only one life, ’twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” C.T. Studd

When my son James was about two years old, he loved racing with his older brother and sister. He would begin each race with great excitement, and I wanted to see his joy when he won. So I would let him get a significant head start.

Off he would run—excited about the thought of victory! Until, until he ran past something interesting. Suddenly he would forget all about the race. He would completely forget where he was going or why he was going there. Little bugs and flowers and oddly shaped rocks would overcome his excitement for racing.

And within moments, Tyla or Austin would race by. James would still be bent over, looking at the exciting distraction while I would say, "Come on James. Let's go. Let's run." And over and over we’d repeat the process of getting sidetracked and refocused. Back then, James never had a chance at winning the races, because he couldn’t keep the goal in mind.

Living the Christian life is a lot like running a race. As long as we stay focused on the goal, we keep running and we have a chance at winning. But if our heart wanders away from Jesus in the middle of the race, I become useless in the cause of Christ.

A winning athlete knows that they are going to have to push their body through its limits and beyond. And yet they keep running. They keep going. And their goal of winning is far more important to them than resting, sitting down, or taking a little nap during the race. They wouldn’t stop their race just because they were tired. When their physical body gets tired, a winner keeps going. A winner keeps running. A winner is dedicated and persistent and focused.

FINISHING THE RACE WELL

In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, we see how our pursuit of Jesus is compared to a race:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but {only} one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then {do it} to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

We are all running a race. Each of us as believers can compare living for Jesus with the life of a runner. And I want to run to win. Imagine being able to say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7). Doesn’t that define a life well lived?

Like every race, we run with a finish line in mind. Paul didn’t run aimlessly. He was focused and self-controlled. He did not want to be disqualified, so he ran to win. His disqualification would not be the loss of his salvation, but it would mean his preaching to others would be in vain if he did not live the same truths that he spoke. If he preached one thing and lived another way, he would not be taken seriously and thus would be disqualified by the hearers. So he did whatever it would take so that his life would match his words.

Again he compares running a race with living an obedient, holy life: “You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?”[6] Paul pursued holiness as one who was called by God to teach others about Him and live in a way that matched his words.

If we are to live for eternity, we have to exercise self-control and keep our eyes focused on where we are headed. In the next chapter of Corinthians, Paul gives multiple examples of how we can lose sight of our goal and ultimately disqualify ourselves before others as examples of the gospel. Let’s go there now.

STUCK IN THE WILDERNESS

Yesterday I sat in the large brown chair in our bedroom, mentally exhausted and in desperate need of Jesus to comfort me. I opened my Bible—the kind of Bible opening where I just sort of feel around on the outside and open when I feel like I’m at the right spot. I’ve know some Bible teachers frown on this sort of Bible reading, but I cannot even name the multitude of times God has ministered to me through these times.

So I ran my fingers along the Bible and opened to 1 Corinthians 10 and begin reading at verse 6:

“Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written, ‘The people sat down to eat and drink, and stood up to play.’ Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.”[7]

Though I was in the process of writing this chapter with 1 Corinthians 9, I hadn’t intended on mentioned chapter 10. But as I read these verses, I saw how powerfully they spoke to how we might stop running to win.

Isn’t it amazing that one reason for everything the Israelites went though is so we could have an example? God gave us the stories of His people who had hearts like ours so we would learn and avoid their mistakes. I think of where they failed, where they erred, and often it simply stemmed from their dissatisfaction with God. He wasn’t enough to them so they complained. Instead of believing God, they doubted His provision, His goodness in their situation.

Look with me at each example Paul mentions in these verses:

• They craved evil things. It wasn’t that onions and meat are evil in themselves, but those things were not a part of God’s provision in the wilderness. Thus the sin was lusting after that which God had withheld. They wanted meat when God said manna was enough, so He sent them meat along with a severe plague that killed those who craved other food.[8]

• They committed idolatry by replacing the true God with a golden calf. When Moses left to receive the Ten Commandments, the people grew impatient and Aaron, Moses’ brother, made them a calf from gold. Then they actually said, “These be thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt.” They held a feast in honor of their golden calf, danced around this idol, all while calling it a feast to the Lord. God considered consuming the entire nation at this point in Israel’s history, but in the end about three thousand men died and the LORD sent another plague.[9]

• They acted immorally. They indulged themselves in sexual sin with Moabite women who worshipped a false god named Baal of Peor. They took part in the feasts honoring this god and bowed down to it. On that day, around twenty three thousand people died.[10]

• They tried the Lord. They complained against the Lord and asked, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this miserable food.”[11] They doubted God’s plan and His goodness toward them. In response, God sent fiery serpents among them and many people died.[12]

• They grumbled against the Lord, expressing their discontentment with His plan for them. Because they were unhappy with their circumstances, they grumbled against Moses as their leader. They felt unhappy with how Moses had led them, but their unhappiness was truly unhappiness with God’s plan for them. Korah led the uprising against Moses, and God opened the earth and Korah and his followers fell into it. Then the people complained, blaming Moses for their deaths. God again intended to destroy the congregation and a plague began taking lives until Moses made atonement for them.[13]

As I read through these verses while I sat on the brown chair, this message was impressed upon my heart: “Look at what God did to the Israelites who complained, who were not content, who questioned His ways. This is a big deal. Don’t overlook your lack of praise right now. The Israelites complained and God killed them. I am alive. They had only one type of food to eat and my fridge has a variety of choices. They worried about where they would get water and I can lift a handle at my sink and have limitless water. People were dying all around them and I am still alive.”

Often I think I am simply frustrated, when the Bible calls it “Trying the LORD.” I think of the kinds of questions we ask: “Why did You let me marry this man who would not lead me spiritually? Or who would be irresponsible with money? Or who would be addicted to painkillers? Or who would leave me for another woman? Or who would ignore our children? Or why did you allow me to accept this job offer knowing how horribly my boss would treat me? Or how they would cheat me out of money they promised? Or how they would fire me without cause and bring hardship to our family? Or why did you allow me to get this sickness and suffer in pain? Or become disabled? Or need to become dependent on others?” And that is just the start of the millions of questions we might ask when life is hard.

GOD REQUIRES FAITH

I don’t believe the sin is in genuinely seeking God’s will about why He allowed a trial, but rather testing the Lord is when we disbelieve His wisdom and goodness and sovereignty over every part of life.

Look with me at the exact words used in the following set of examples when the Israelites complained, murmured, or tested the Lord. I chose examples that show the actual words used by the Israelites so we can see what God calls “murmuring” or “testing the LORD.”

First, here is one of the early examples of their complaining: “Then they said to Moses, ‘Is it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt with us in this way, bringing us out of Egypt?’” (Exodus 14:12).

But God responded in gentleness. “But Moses said to the people, ‘Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever’…When Israel saw the great power which the LORD had used against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD, and they believed in the LORD and in His servant Moses.” (Exodus 14:13, 31).

Now that they had seen all God could do for them—the plagues on the Egyptians, the parting of the Red Sea, the drowning of the Egyptian army, God still showed them patience. But Moses was beginning to get a little annoyed by their lack of faith.

“There was no water for the people to drink. Therefore the people quarreled with Moses and said, ‘Give us water that we may drink.’ And Moses said to them, ‘Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test the LORD?’ But the people thirsted there for water; and they grumbled against Moses and said, ‘Why, now, have you brought us up from Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?’” (Exodus 17:1b-3).

God’s Response: “‘Behold, I will stand before you there on the rock at Horeb; and you shall strike the rock, and water will come out of it, that the people may drink.’ And Moses did so in the sight of the elders of Israel” (Exodus 17:6).

Moses’ response: “He named the place Massah (Test) and Meribah (Quarrel) because of the quarrel of the sons of Israel, and because they tested the LORD, saying, ‘Is the LORD among us, or not?’ (Exodus 17:7).

Finally, after God showed Himself both faithful and powerful again and again, the Israelites continued lack of faith began to result in severe consequences.

“The sons of Israel wept again and said, ‘Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna’” (Numbers 11:4b-6).

God response: “Say to the people, ‘Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow, and you shall eat meat; for you have wept in the ears of the LORD, saying, “Oh that someone would give us meat to eat! For we were well-off in Egypt.” Therefore the LORD will give you meat and you shall eat. You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before Him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”’” Numbers 11:18-20).

After God sent them meat for thirty days, the Bible says this: “While the meat was still between their teeth, before it was chewed, the anger of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD struck the people with a very severe plague. So the name of that place was called Kibroth-hattaavah, because there they buried the people who had been greedy” (Numbers 11:33-34).

God showed such compassion on the Israelites while they learned His character. He parted the red sea and provided water and manna—all miracles—without any consequences for their lack of faith. But after they had their basic needs met and they began to complain about not having more, there came a point when He required faith.

One commentary said this about their complaining: “Israel's discontented complainings were temptings of Christ especially, the ‘Angel’ of the covenant (Exd 23:20, 21 32:34 Isa 63:9). Though they drank of ‘that Rock. . . Christ’ (1Cr 10:4), they yet complained for want of water (Exd 17:2, 7). Though also eating the same spiritual meat (Christ, ‘the true manna,’ ‘the bread of life’), they yet murmured, ‘Our soul loatheth this light bread.’[14]

Wow. That’s what my discontentment looks like. I have been given life everlasting, called a co-heir of Jesus, the heir of all things, and yet murmur because I don’t have more.

The tendency to mistrust God’s wisdom in marriage, in finances, in everything can be tempting. It happens because we stop recognizing that God is enough. The woman who has Jesus has all she needs. But when I begin to wonder how I could have avoided all these trials (the ones God is using to conform me into the image of His Son), I’m losing my focus on running to win. I lose sight of the goal when I complain or feel sorry for myself in difficult circumstances. I’m not talking about times of mourning or sadness when things are painful. But when I don’t like the way things are going and I know God has allowed them—instead of praising God—when I doubt His wisdom in my life, at those time I have lost sight of the goal.

As Christian women, instead of wondering how we can most live for Jesus in this exact place we stand, some of us question why we are standing here or we dream of escape plans or we doubt God actually wants us here. And sometimes it might seem impossible to think God might want us to keep standing in such a painful spot. We think somehow God was not sovereign on the day when our husband lost his job, or we had a house foreclose, or we entered a difficult marriage, or cancer began to grow, or a child walked away from the Lord.

Complaining doesn’t seem like such a big deal until I remember how seriously God reacted when the Israelites complained. Complaining is simply doubting God. Doubting His goodness. Doubting He is enough. If we want to follow Christ, we must believe He is enough. Belief in God’s goodness must be present or we will never follow Him wholeheartedly. We will question where He leads and doubt His wisdom in His plan. He calls us to follow. And when we follow Christ, we must trust Him, wherever He leads.

Chapter 2 Following Christ in Knowing Him

Imagine a woman who always watched the same Bible teacher on TV for years. She tuned in at 10 A.M. every Tuesday and Thursday. She always took notes and listened carefully to his every word. But she had never met this pastor in person. Never once had she entered into a conversation with him by phone, by email, or by any other means. She had some knowledge about him personally, because she’d heard him tell stories about his life throughout the years, and she knew he’d been married for over three decades and had three kids. She’d heard about how his granddaughter had gotten sick and almost died, twice. She even knew that he paid a boy in his neighborhood to mow his lawn.

But would you say that she really, personally knew him? She didn’t know what might have upset him outside of church or what could have discouraged him most. She didn’t know his favorite food, his favorite color, or how he even spent an average day. Because she had no private or personal relationship with him, she had no idea what his fears were, what his personal goals were, or what he did in his free time. She had no idea what his hardest trials were or what secret sins he may have struggled with. She didn’t know these things because you didn’t know him.

Some Christians go to church every week, and they have heard the Christmas story, the Easter story, and John 3:16 multitudes of times. They know the common things about God, but they have missed the beauty and soul-satisfying intensity of really knowing the Creator of all things.

They would be unsure of the answers to questions like: Do you know what breaks God’s heart? (Not from hearsay, but from His Word.) Do you know what makes God rejoice? Do you know what makes God very angry? Do you know what makes Him restrain His judgment when He is angry? Do you know what God desires most from His people?

Many believers have been robbed of the joy of knowing God deeply because they haven’t carefully studied His Word. If you wanted to know a person better, you would seek that person out, spend time with them, listen carefully when they talked, and remember what they said. You would give special attention to really understanding that person. And the more we really want to know someone—like when we first start falling in love—the more we become consumed with knowing and understanding them.

We cannot think it is any different in our relationship with God. You and I only know God to the degree that we have sought Him. Seeking God by faith will cause us to be more convinced of His love for us, which will trigger an even greater desire to know Him.

“THAT I MAY KNOW HIM” PHIL. 3:10

I’d like to share a story with you that Charles H. Spurgeon told his congregation back in 1864. It’s lengthy and Spurgeon uses some words we don’t often hear today, plus there are no paragraph breaks, but please don’t miss the depth and the weightiness of his point.

“Imagine for a moment that you are living in the age of the Roman emperors. You have been captured by Roman soldiers and dragged from your native country; you have been sold for a slave, stripped, whipped, branded, imprisoned, and treated with shameful cruelty. At last [you] are appointed to die in the amphitheatre, to make holiday for a tyrant. The populace assemble with delight. There they are, tens of thousands of them, gazing down from the living sides of the capacious Colosseum. You stand alone, and naked, armed only with a single dagger—a poor defense against gigantic beasts. A ponderous door is drawn up by machinery, and forth there rushes the monarch of the forest—a huge lion; you must slay him or be torn to pieces. You are absolutely certain that the conflict is too stern for you, and that the sure result must and will be that those terrible teeth will grind your bones and drip with your blood. You tremble; your joints are loosed; you are paralyzed with fear, like the timid deer when the lion has dashed it to the ground. But what is this? O wonder of mercy!—a deliverer appears. A great unknown leaps from among the gazing multitude, and confronts the savage monster. He quails not at the roaring of the devourer, but dashes upon him with terrible fury, till, like a whipped cur, the lion slinks towards his den, dragging himself along in pain and fear. The hero lifts you up, smiles into your bloodless face, whispers comfort in your ear, and bids you be of good courage, for you are free. Do you not think that there would arise at once in your heart a desire to know your deliverer? As the guards conducted you into the open street, and you breathed the cool, fresh air, would not the first question be, "Who was my deliverer, that I may fall at his feet and bless him?" You are not, however, informed, but instead of it you are gently led away to a noble mansion house, where your many wounds are washed and healed with salve of rarest power. You are clothed in sumptuous apparel; you are made to sit down at a feast; you eat and are satisfied; you rest upon the softest down. The next morning you are attended by servants who guard you from evil and minister to your good. Day after day, week after week, your wants are supplied. You live like a courtier. There is nothing that you can ask which you do not receive. I am sure that your curiosity would grow more and more intense till it would ripen into an insatiable craving. You would scarcely neglect an opportunity of asking the servants, "Tell me, who does all this, who is my noble benefactor, for I must know him?" "Well, but" they would say, "is it not enough for you that you are delivered from the lion?" "Nay," say you, "it is for that very reason that I pant to know him." "Your wants are richly supplied—why are [you] vexed by curiosity as to the hand which reaches you the boon? If your garment is worn out, there is another. Long before hunger oppresses you, the table is well loaded. What more do you want?" But your reply is, "It is because I have no wants, that, therefore, my soul longs and yearns even to hungering and to thirsting, that I may know my generous loving friend." Suppose that as you wake up one morning, you find lying up on your pillow a precious love-token from your unknown friend, a ring sparkling with jewels and engraved with a tender inscription, a bouquet of flowers bound about with a love-motto! Your curiosity now knows no bounds. But you are informed that this wondrous being has not only done for you what you have seen, but a thousand deeds of love which you did not see, which were higher and greater still as proofs of his affection. You are told that he was wounded, and imprisoned, and scourged for your sake, for he had a love to [you] so great, that death itself could not overcome it: you are informed that he is every moment occupied in your interests, because he has sworn by himself that where he is there you shall be; his honors you shall share, and of his happiness you shall be the crown. Why, methinks you would say, "Tell me, men and women, any of you who know him, tell me who he is and what he is;" and if they said, "But it is enough for you to know that he loves you, and to have daily proofs of his goodness," you would say, "No, these love-tokens increase my thirst. If ye see him, tell him I am sick of love. The flagons which he sends me, and the love-tokens which he gives me, they stay me for awhile with the assurance of his affection but they only impel me onward with the more unconquerable desire that I may know him. I must know him; I cannot live without knowing him. His goodness makes me thirst, and pant, and faint, and even die, that I may know him."

God has done innumerable deeds of love for us, His people, beyond what we even see and know. To rescue us from the torment of sin, Jesus took our beatings, whippings, and ultimately our place of death. We were once the slaves to sin, and sin is a cruel master. We were lost, without hope, and headed toward the judgment of God. With only our own righteousness, which is a weak and utterly incompetent defender against the right and holy judgment of God, we stood no chance. At judgment we would have surely been condemned to an everlasting torment, and deservingly so.

And yet a Savior came for us. When we were helpless to free ourselves, our great and powerful Savior came down from heaven, became a man, and stood in our place. He suffered the wrath of God we rightly deserved. He died on a cross, suffered shame, and deserved none of it.

After rescuing us, our deliverer did not leave us alone. He cleansed us and freed us from our sins, comforted and healed our wounds, and gave us all things that pertain to life and godliness. He gave us true promises of a glorious eternity awaiting us. He gave us His Word, which contains splendid tokens of His love. And then the luxuries that we don’t see now, we know that things are reserved for us in heaven.

If any human living on earth had done all this for you, would you not long with everything in you to love and repay the one who had given you so much? Do you think you might be willing to do anything he might ask, knowing his character of love, to show your great appreciation? Would you consider it as only natural for you to want desperately to know this one?

What if people began to speak wickedly of your deliverer? Would you be willing to risk the dislike and torture of your own deliver’s enemies? And yet we know Jesus is alive, and He loves us more than we could grasp. But the sad thing is, I often do not respond with constant appreciation. I fret over silly things and forget what Jesus has done for me.

Forgetting can be easy. When we forget, it’s usually not purposeful. If anything, we want to remember. But we are not purposeful enough in being aware of what God has done. I think often we often lack desire for God simply because we forget His love for us. We forget all He has given us.

FIRES AND FORGETFULNESS

Yesterday I started a fire in my house. I have known for a while that I am bad at multi-tasking, but it was confirmed to me yesterday. When I am thinking or doing one thing, I can barely do anything else. When friends call, I must sit down to talk because who knows what I’ll say if I’m trying to get other things done at the same time. I have friends who can clean their whole house while on the phone, but I am worthless while on the phone, so I have to carefully limit phone conversations or my children will spend their lives eating candy and watching TV in a disaster of a house.

So back to the fire. I had just started making lunch, and I was trying to hurry because we would be leaving soon for my son’s End of Year Celebration at school. I looked through the refrigerator and thought of the easiest thing, quesadillas. I had leftover tortilla chips, so I put those in the oven (because I like warm chips) to go with salsa.

While the food was heating, I thought I should help my son practice his presentation a bit more. I had him come in the kitchen with me so he could review the details of his science project one more time.

As all this was in full swing, my husband called on the phone. He urgently stated, “Honey, come outside right now as quietly as you can and help me catch this baby rabbit.” I probably should have let him know it was a bad time, but he was so adamant and serious that it didn’t occur to me. I turned off the stove and moved the skillet with the quesadillas to a cold burner—because I wanted to be careful, after all—and then went outside.

And there he was, a cute baby bunny, who was a little smaller than a coffee cup. He looked at us and waited, then ran back under the bushes and out of sight. As we stood and waited to see if he would reappear, my oldest rushed out of the house. “Mom, there’s a fire in the oven!” I ran in to see, and sure enough, the chips were blazing. I then realized that I hadn’t bought a fire extinguisher since we’d moved into this house.

My husband came in and grabbed the cooking sheet with the chips and carried it out to our front porch while flames shot up over a foot high. Our house was filled with smoke. We brought the kids outside and waited while my husband opened every window and began fanning out the house. After around thirty minutes, we went back in. I started cooking quesadillas and cried. My husband had burned his arm and my absentmindedness was to blame. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen, and I felt so overwhelmed from the experience. I cried from emotions I couldn’t identify.

I wanted to do everything right, to make a good lunch and help my husband catch a bunny and help my son be prepared. And in all those things, I forget the chips, which just happen to be excellent at spontaneous combustion, I have since learned.

Usually forgetfulness doesn’t start fires, and much of the time, forgetting something isn’t always a big deal. We do it on accident. We don’t purposefully walk away from the oven or from prioritizing God. We never mean to ignore Him. We just get distracted and realize we’ve strayed.

Sometimes, what we need most in our relationship with God is to simply remember Him. The words “remember” and “forget” are used often throughout the Old Testament. Sometimes what we remember and forget is purposeful, and sometimes it’s accidental. We don’t even mean to forget important things. I think that may be part of the reason why God specifically commanded the Israelites to remember Him:

“Then it shall come about when the LORD your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you great and splendid cities which you did not build, and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied, then watch yourself, that you do not forget the LORD who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. (Deuteronomy 6:10-12, emphasis mine)

Throughout the Bible, God instructs us to remember, consider, meditate, talk about, and delight in Him, namely, that we would be continually mindful about Who He is and what He has done for us so that we might know Him and love Him more.

The more we think about God, meditate on His Word, and remember what He has done in our life, the more we will grow in knowing Him. Remembering God must be purposeful. God commands us to remember Him because He knows how prone we are to distractions. When I “forget” God, I don’t actually forget about Him. But rather, honoring His priorities becomes less important. I might know what God wants for me, but I ignore that still, small voice and proceed to do things my way. I forget God when I take become angry with my husband and contemplate how I can hurt him in return, instead of letting the God who said, “Vengence is mine. I will repay.” (REF) Be God even in my marriage.

UNDESERVED MERCY

God commands us to remember, and yet He is so merciful when we forget. Though God commanded the Israelites to remember God and what He had done for them, they forgot anyway. And yet look at God’s response:

They refused to listen, and did not remember Your wondrous deeds which You had performed among them; So they became stubborn and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But You are a God of forgiveness, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; and You did not forsake them. (Nehemiah 9:17)[15]

We forget the God who never forgets us. He keeps us when we fall. And it is because of this great compassion that He is so worthy of our remembrance. The more you put into knowing God, the more you will receive. You must really want to know God if you are going to put in the work required in such a pursuit. Do this by taking time to pray, worship, and focus on your Savior when you are alone. Let Him search your heart and be willing to change if God reveals anything hurtful in you.[16]

Of course, since you are reading a book on following Christ, you already want to know Jesus more and I may be “preaching to the choir.” So know I say this by way of reminder, knowing you probably already know the value of these things. You already want these things and seek these things. Even just thinking of the women who will read this—you--makes my heart love you, even though we may have never met.

As you know, there is so much in God’s Word. This is our life. Read as much of the Bible as each season of your life allows. Make it a priority to read and study the Bible for yourself and not just hear sermons or read devotionals or pre-written Bible studies about it. Get lots of Scripture in your heart so God can show you “wonderful things out of His law.”[17]

Reading the Bible cleanses our heart. Envision what your house would look like if you went a few months without picking up or cleaning. Even just picture your kitchen sink and what would happen to the dirty dishes that accumulated after a few weeks. Or think about going a few days without washing your hands and yet still using them to crack open eggs for breakfast and wipe tears and shake hands. They would probably be covered in seen dirt and unseen bacteria.

God has given us water so we can be cleansed physically, and without washing ourselves, we would become filthy. In the same way, our hearts are exposed to so much, both from others and even from our own emotions. We need to be protected from what might grow if we alienate ourselves from truth. We need to be on guard that we don’t forget God or what He has said and become like the people of Ephraim, of whom God said:

Though I wrote for him ten thousand precepts of My law, they are regarded as a strange thing.” (Hosea 8:12)

I can know a Scripture so well and then somehow forget it. Or be very familiar with a passage in the Bible and yet in a time of need, God will let it impact me in a new way.

For many years now I’ve prayed the same prayer, “Dear Lord, Cause me to hunger and thirst after your Word, more than my necessary food.” (Job REF) I believe that my yearning to study and learn His Word is His answer to my prayer, a prayer that He put in my heart. Will you also pray that God would cause you to long from the depths of your heart to know Him more through the Bible? Father, I pray for everyone reading this, that they would so deeply hunger and thirst to know You and Your Word that it would be unquenchable. I pray you would use this to keep them able to please you, to know how to do what You want each day of their lives, and to transform each day more and more into the image of Jesus.

When I look back at how faithful God has been in keeping me close to Him, I see how God used the verses I had memorized and studied to safeguard me from straying or being led astray by inaccurate Bible teaching. David says in the Psalms that God’s Word protects him from sin: “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Ps. 119:11). If we will set our hearts upon learning, believing, and studying what the Bible says—He will use it in our hearts to make us faithful to Him. He will use His Word to sanctify us and keep us washed. The Bible will teach us about our God, and through diligent study of our Bibles we will know Him much, much more.

We will know what grieves God, what makes Him angry, what pleases Him, and whom He pays special attention to. We will know God when we seek Him sincerely with all our hearts through His Word.

ALL IS WORKING FOR GOOD

A few hours after the fire and my son’s school event, I fell into my bed, exhausted from the day. As I laid there, I began to think about God’s Providence, how God’s hand is in everything, and how He allows, forbids, and directs things according to His will. As I was thinking upon what it means to trust God, to believe that He is always at work, the fire came to mind. I was struck as I realized that there were many details involved in the fire, and if anyone of them would have been different, the fire would not have started. If I would have made lunch at a more normal time instead of 2pm, if I wouldn’t have wanted chips that day, if I wouldn’t have put them in the oven on broil, if I wasn’t distracted by also making quesadillas and helping my son prepare for a presentation he would be doing in just a couple hours, the fire would have been avoided. And then, if my husband had not just recently mentioned that he wanted to get a baby rabbit. Or if he would have arrived home from work just five minutes later. If every red and green light had been timed just a little different. Or if there didn’t happen to be a baby rabbit just feet from our doorstep right as my husband was walking to the door. If any of those things would have changed, the fire would never have started.

And so I wondered at God’s hand. Why had my husband suddenly started wanting a baby rabbit a few days earlier? And then, what pushed the rabbit to come out of hiding in the bushes and stand in plain sight right next to our front door? I mean, even if my husband hadn’t bought tortilla chips a few days earlier things would have been different. But no, everything aligned perfectly.

The next morning when I woke up, our house still smelled like smoke, but it reminded me of a hotel room, so I didn’t mind. We probably all stunk like smoke at my son’s Year School Celebration too. But, of course, nobody asks why you smell like smoke, so you really never know if you smell. And we didn’t catch the bunny. Hopefully he reunited with his mommy and is doing well. A pet store bunny is probably better anyway. And so I thanked God that nothing worse happened and I thanked Him for the fire. The more I know and understand God, the more I can trust Him when fires start.

Chapter 3 To Make a Name

All eyes were on me. I wanted to hide but those eyes were expecting me to say something profound, or at least somewhat understandable. I had come to this MOPS group with the intention of being a silent visitor, one who would quietly and invisibly observe. I went because I had been invited to speak at a different MOPS group a few months later, and I wanted to have some idea of what happened at MOPS groups. Although I had spoken to other “Mom Groups” before, I wasn’t sure what the differences might me I wanted to know what to expect. My son James had been born a few months earlier, so I brought him with me to the group as it was customary for the new mothers to keep their babies with them. As the event started, I began nursing James so I could pay attention and he would be happy.

About fifty women sat in the room. The leader talked about mom stuff and MOPS stuff and then suddenly I was asked to tell the room about my book, “A Life of Joy”. The whole roomful of women looked at me and waited to hear me speak. Of course, I was completely thrown off guard. I tried my best to concentrate on what I was saying and make sense of it too. I wanted to say something witty, but lack of sleep and a young baby plus a bunch of people staring at me were not combining well.

Now I love teaching the Bible. I love being able to bring women closer to Jesus. But when I go to speaking events, I bring incredibly detailed notes. I don’t trust myself to say anything worth hearing right on the spot. Sometimes as I’m speaking, things will come to mind and I’ll share those, but overall I try to be very careful with unplanned words.

I remember at a women’s retreat a few years ago, as I was in the middle of describing something about salvation, a woman in the front row looked at me with the oddest expression. Her eyebrows went up and she looked very uneasy. I kept talking, unsure of what went wrong. Later, when I listened to the recording of that message, I knew the problem exactly. I had switched a word in that sentence and basically said something to the effect that we earn righteousness before God. Yikes!

So here I am at a mom’s group—as a participant and not as the speaker—with my baby in my arms, trying to remember my book. My mind blanked. I had written the book so I should know what to say. But thoughts were not coming. Finally, I just said something. I do not remember what it was, but I remember what I felt. I wanted to hide my awkward self. I felt like a big dork. I wanted to climb under a rock. Then that image of a rock reminded me of all the times in the Bible when God is called our rock and our refuge. So while I couldn’t hide my physical body, I could let my heart take shelter in the comfort of knowing I have a relationship with the God who made all things. The God who held the breath of every woman in that room in His hands is my God. I love Him and He loves me. He hears me when I call. He has mercy for me every day. I’ll be okay. I was almost like a playground kid. “I know God so na-na-na-na-na.”

But then I wondered, “How would I handle life if God were not my refuge, if my hope in Him was not the anchor of my soul?” I probably wouldn’t! Being able to know that God is my God, that I know Him and He knows me was a great comfort in that moment. I may have looked like the last person on earth to ever be a “public speaker” to all those women (hopefully not), but God is my refuge. He is my glory—not giving an excellent spur of the moment book description while I'm trying to keep from being noticed.

I would have loved for those women to have eagerly rushed out of the room so they could buy a copy of this book that was just described so fantastically, but I had to trade my insecurity for security in the Lord. We need to recognize that our relationship with Jesus is more valuable than any praise or value put on us by others. The truth is, how God views us is what truly matters in life. The Christian life is meant to be lived before God. He is the ultimate source of our adequacy and our validation.

THE AIM OF LIFE

When I sold real estate, the company I worked for would have these grand meetings every few months where the highest sellers would be honored. While they fed us amazing food, one name after another would be called down to the stage and presented with a trophy or certificate for making a certain dollar amount in real estate commissions.

At the time, this real estate company was the fifth largest in the nation.[18] So while many people got awards, most didn’t. But I think we all wanted an award. We all wanted to be exceptional. For some of those agents, they may have lived for those awards. Many people live for recognition. They are driven by hopes of success. All of us in some way want to be recognized. We have ambitions, life goals, or hidden dreams.

But as Christians, we know there is so much more to life than a simple real estate award. We long to live for Jesus and make our life count for so much more than a dollar amount. I believe that desire comes from Him. And in living for Him, we want to be useful in the world. We want to somehow cause others to know Jesus through us. We want to use the gifts and skills He has given us to make a difference with our lives. We want to magnify God through our contribution. I believe this is the foundation on which many of us have based our dreams. We dream of what we can do to ultimately glorify God. We wonder what we can do most for the cause of Christ. Whether that is in the a lawyer who fights for the cause of helpless children, a mother who trains her children to follow Jesus, a salesperson who looks for opportunities to share her joy, or a million other ways we might make our lives count.

Before we go on, identify in your heart what your goals are. What are the things you are striving for? If you could be awarded any title in the world, what would it be? Sometimes we desire to do things so God will receive glory though us, and sometimes we may want to do things for God so people will notice us. In this chapter we want to look at the heart motivation behind our goals and desires.

For every goal we have, there’s always a root issue. Either we want God to be glorified or we want ourselves to be glorified. And sometimes it's hard for us to really know what that root issue is.

And then in the midst of bigger life aims, we get sidetracked by all kinds of random desires. Sometimes those desires may even become our life aims. Like when we stop looking at how we can be like Christ and begin worrying too much about our husband and whether or not he is becoming like Christ. Or we look in the mirror one day and see some new wrinkles or unwanted curves, and we get overly concerned with becoming outwardly beautiful. Or we see someone with a talent that we admire that talent to the point of wanting to have the same talent. Like when I looked at some artwork a few months ago and painted half a picture with my daughter and her friend. I suddenly—for a fleeting moment—though I had some talent. And then reality kicked in at the halfway point and I still need to finish the painting.

We’ve believed this lie that we need to be noticed by others, to be admired for our great talent, if we are really going to live for Christ. Jesus does not require us to be famous or wise or mighty or noble, but rather He simply looks to see if we are all-in.[19] Are we fully committed to Him? Willing to obey when it’s hard? Do we do everything heartily, as unto the Lord? Not as unto great talent or fame, but unto the Lord?

THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING…EXCEPT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

I received a phone call a while back from someone trying to sell me coaching services. As he proceeded through his script, I tried to let him know I wouldn’t be interested. As a general concept, I think coaching would be great, but if I hired someone, I would need to know they shared my desire to follow Christ above all else.

The man on the phone had an entirely different perspective: "Wouldn't you like to make more money this year than ever before?"

Although I agreed with him that money is helpful, I tried to explain: “I want to be motivated by heavenly rewards, not earthly ones. I want to be focused on Jesus, not money.”

I know that we need to work for money. Most of us don’t eat food from our own harvest. We work to make money to buy the food from someone else’s harvest. And there is nothing wrong with doing our best and even making a lot of money. Even Solomon said, “Money is the answer to everything.”[20] Most problems can be solved with enough money. So I have nothing against money.

But it still can’t be my focus. The guy on the phone kept saying, “But don’t you want lots of money? Don’t you want more money?” He couldn't understand not being driven by money. But someday very soon he'll realize how what really matters in life had nothing to do with money. He'll discover there is a treasure far more valuable than wealth.

The problem with monetary ambition is the Bible specifically warns people to not pursue riches. Setting a goal with riches in mind opposes First Timothy 6:9-10 which plainly says:

Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

There are three significant phrases I want to make sure we don’t miss:  “Those who desire to be rich” and “the love of money” and “through this craving”.  It is the desire, the craving for riches that God opposes.

So what could I do? Instead of striving for riches, I could strive to be a hard worker. Because though God opposes the coveting of riches, He instructs us to work hard in what we do.  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” (Colossians 3:23).  There is a delicate balance between laboring to be rich and wisely providing what you need while working diligently unto the Lord.

Jesus said we cannot love both God and money. Luke 16:13 says,

No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.

If I devote my life and my cravings to gaining riches, I am no longer loving God. Possessing riches is not wrong, but loving them is wrong.

Interestingly, being consumed by money is not limited exclusively to just one financial bracket. It’s something that can absorb anyone. But for every believer, whether well-resourced or lacking, in light of eternity, gaining money is like gathering dew off the morning grass only minutes before it's about to rain. This life is just a breath. You’ll only have what you want for a second and you won’t take it with you. You may even really enjoy the things you buy here on earth, but enjoyment has never been God's priority for us in this life. Otherwise, why would He tell us that we must pick up our cross just to follow Him?

SUBTITLE

When I was a real estate agent—which is an entirely commission driven profession—goal setting was a huge part of establishing and maintaining our motivation each year. I learned a lot about goal setting and how to accomplish things from that job. Whenever people ask me how I’ve managed to write books, I usually answer, “A few sentences at a time.”

In real estate, the process was similar. The number of people we contacted in a day would be formulaically tied to the amount of money we made each year. We would determine how much money we needed or wanted to make, and then determine how many people we would need to contact each day.

God knows your heart and He sees when you seek His praise or the praise of man. He’s the one that has the sovereign decision about what’s going to happen in your life. God is the One who decides the course of your life.

Remember that if you seek to exalt yourself with the gifts God’s given you, God has the power to take those gifts away, like He did to Nebuchadnezzar. (See Daniel 4.) God gave Nebuchadnezzar glory and honor and riches and power but when Nebuchadnezzar said in his heart, "Look at what my own hands have done," God took it all away for seven years. Nebuchadnezzar became like an animal. He ate grass. The hair on his head and his fingernails grew like an animal.  He lost his sanity. Everything was taken from him because he stopped acknowledging God and began to take the glory for himself.

Then, after seven years, he returned to the Lord and acknowledged that God gave him all he had, and God returned to Nebuchadnezzar his glory and kingdom.

For instance, the most common goal was the amount of money any given person had planned to make that year.  It was, of course, a relatively high amount, and the financial goal drove the person to commit to a minimum certain amount of work each day.

Our desires and goals must be based on a willingness to please God and glorify God. When the motive behind your goals is to glorify God, you don’t care anymore about what people think or promoting your own reputation. It means being willing to follow Christ completely and give up seeking the admiration of people, and instead focus completely on gaining the admiration of God.

Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” John 5:44 says "How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God?” God looks at the motives behind our actions. From these Scriptures, we learn that when we seek glory for ourselves, or the acceptance and praise of people, we have wrong motives. When you’re willing to surrender your reputation, it means you are denying yourself of any favor or glory or praise or recognition you would otherwise receive from man.

Let’s take an example. Jane is very smart.  She loves the idea of having a reputation that precedes her. She wants people to know that she is in Mensa and admire her genius. When Jane makes a point to let others know how smart she is, would you call that humility or pride? Is her motive to bring God glory or Jane glory?  Is that reputation going to exalt God or Jane? Answer: A humble woman wants people to know how wise God is. She isn’t concerned with making her own intelligence known. If she must reveal her intelligence, she does it only when it will be profitable for the situation and ultimately glorify God.

A good question to ask yourself throughout the day is: What is my motive for what I am doing? Am I doing this because I want God to be glorified? Is this something that will cause me to be rewarded in heaven? Or is this something I’m doing because I just want a better life right now?

I asked one friend of mine what her goals were in life and she looked at me like I had just spoken Swahili. I realized that some people haven't yet identified what they want in life. Or maybe her dream was buried so deeply she couldn’t share it at that moment. Maybe you haven't clearly identified what your dreams or desires are. Here is something I've found interesting. I read a survey of working adults. They were asked whether or not they were in their dream job. Most were not. But the crazy thing is that that the…: Most working people you talk to will tell you they are not in their dream job. Yet, about the same percentage of people will also not be able to give you a specific description of what their dream job even is. Goals can be very good. They at least let you know what you want enough to know when you've got it. Godly goals fill the Christian with motivation and endurance. REF

Following Christ and pleasing Him must always be the number one goal for any believer. Every other goal must not only follow behind this goal, but come inside the scope of it.

USING YOUR GIFTS AND TALENTS

God has given each believer gifts to use for the body. We need to use those gifts. Using your gifts is not selfish, even though you may be honored because of them. If your hand wanted God to be glorified, and felt that it received too much glory for its artwork, and so stopped working altogether, it would be a shameful thing, not an honorable thing.

In the same way, don’t hide your gifts and talents just because you may be praised for them. Use your gifts and use them often. And always use them for God’s glory. Just give God the glory for what you do and never think of yourself more highly just because God gave you the talents and abilities that you have. You have what you have for a purpose, for the special role that you will fill in the body of Christ. Use the talents you have with humility, and if you are concerned about your motive—seek God and ask Him to help you to only live to honor and please Him.

Since I know my own heart is deceitful (Jer. 17:9), I pray every day that God would be glorified in everything I do. I pray every day that I would do what pleases God. And I have to trust that He will answer my prayer.

WHEN THE ROAD IS BLOCKED

Now, sometimes, God uses my husband to change the path I’m on. On a few occasions, Todd has told me to stop doing something I've set my heart on. While reading in the book of James this morning, the first verse of chapter four really struck me, because it could be applied so perfectly to this situation. First, James asks the question, “What causes fights and quarrels among you?” In other words, if Todd tells me no and I disagree with him, what’s going on.

Here is the answer: “Don't [the fights and quarrels] come from your desires that battle within you?” And the answer is yes. If I had no desires, I wouldn’t be upset if I couldn’t get what I wanted. It’s when we aren’t getting those things we want that we fight and quarrel.

That is when I need to recognize God’s wisdom in giving me a leader. Whether or not Todd’s decisions seem wise to me at the time, God is ultimately orchestrating all things, so I must trust that God is using my husband to direct my steps.

GOD'S WAY ISN'T ALWAYS OUR WAY

When Todd was unemployed for four months, I was thoroughly reminded that my way is not always God’s way. I would have chosen comfort, but God chose trials. My goal was to avoid pain. God appointed pain in my life so I would become more sanctified. I would have liked our finances to always be steady and perfect. My own heart naturally assumes that God wants for me the same things I want for myself. Not necessarily.

You may want your sick child to get better. You may want your husband to get saved. You may want to your neighbors to like you. You may want healthy food on the table. You may want the people in your life to have compassion on you. And God may do those things, but in His own time, according to His will. But we, like Peter, forget God’s priorities. We can all too easily slip away from God’s interests and focus on the cares of this world.

MOTIVES

GOD IS JUDGE

GOALS AND RECOGNITION

Now you may ask, "What about when everyone around me is being recognized and I’m being overlooked? What about when I’m trying to serve God, I’m trying to honor God and I see people being driven by false motives and yet they are getting promoted and getting exalted? I know their motives are wrong and yet in my heart I just want to serve God and honor God, and I’m being completely ignored? What’s going on?"

Psalms 92:7 tells us that when the wicked are exalted it is only that they might be destroyed forever. The NLT says, “Although the wicked flourish like weeds, and evildoers blossom with success, there is only eternal destruction ahead of them.” When those people that have wicked motives are exalted, it is only that they might be destroyed forever. When a person is exalted, it is not a permanent eternal exultation.

Remember, this life is just a breath. Just a passing glance before we enter forever. And so when people are exalted, it’s just for a moment. When you’re not put into a position you want, and your heart is right before the Lord and you're serving God, just remember it’s not the promotion in this life that counts. It’s the glory of life to come.

When you are not promoted or rewarded in this life for devotion to Christ, it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t see. Or when you suffer and praise God in the midst of it, and you don't see any reward for doing right, it doesn’t mean your reward isn't coming, only that it hasn't come yet. And it's much better to get rewarded in heaven because those rewards literally last forever. There might be far more rewards waiting for you in heaven then all the people getting the honor and the wealth and the good things of this life on earth now. And in getting rewarded now, they are possibly missing out on eternal rewards. In Matthew 6, Jesus says that when we fast, pray, and give just to be seen by others, we already have our reward. There will be no additional rewards in heaven.

And there’s no going back. When we get to heaven, there will be no do-overs. No takeovers. No second chances. And we will be there for eternity, so keep on serving the Lord with the right heart. Keep on honoring him even if no one notices.

THE LOVE OF MONEY

RELINQUISHING THE LESSER

When my husband Todd and I first got married, we were broke! After finally getting a remarkable deal on our first apartment, and (with the help of my parents) getting the money we needed to move in, we had nothing left for the extra things in life like furniture.

My bedroom furniture from childhood had followed us to the apartment, but the rest of the house was bare. Some precious friends from church bought some new couches and gave us their previous ones, and my husband’s sister and brother-in-law gave us a kitchen table—but we still had no chairs.

Months passed, and still our table remained chair-less. Then my parents suggested that we could have their lawn chairs. Being that they were better than nothing, we willingly took them home.

Now let me tell you about these chairs. They were made of plastic and were a forest green color, once, many years before they came into our house. How long my parents had actually owned the chairs was unknown. The plastic had started to disintegrate, the green was faded, and guests were sometimes reluctant to even sit in them!

There were anything but pretty. But they were functional, and that was what mattered most. For almost three years we lived in that apartment. And when we moved, we still used the same ugly-looking chairs. We finally bought a house, and in our beautiful new kitchen sat our old dilapidated green chairs with the white pasty coating.

Now, though I did want to get new chairs, I never really minded having the old, outdoor ones. I had shopped for new chairs a few times, and, as a young married woman, the prices just shocked me. The thought of ever having beautiful kitchen chairs seemed only like a far off desire. I just thought it would be nice to have something that didn’t scare people when they came to our house.

The day finally came when my husband decided we were going to the store to get nicer furniture. Being on the financially conservative side, I protested a bit. But when we did get beautiful, new, inviting chairs—and the old ones were politely dismissed—they weren’t missed.

The old chairs had to leave to make room for the new ones. The lesser had to be removed or else there wouldn’t have been room for the greater. Now chairs have no spiritual value, but the principle does. Often we must give up something lesser to have something better.

Take a moment to think about what it is that you want most in life. Then answer the following questions:

1. More than anything else, what do you most want?
2. Are you determined to achieve this?
3. Will you relinquish everything else you may want in life to gain this greatest desire?
4. Do you spend your time in such a way so that you are moving closer each day to gain what you want most?
5. Is using your life to achieve this greatest desire the way you will have wished you spent your life when you stand before God?

People say, “You only get one chance to make a first impression.” Here's my version, “You only get one chance to determine everything about forever.” There are a few things in life that matter. Let me conclude this thought with some famous words from Jim Elliot, a missionary who was killed by the people to whom he was trying to minister: “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

When we set goals in life, those goals must be driven by the praise of man.

Conclusion: address—the validation of people. Goals, money. Etc.

TO make a name: The people who built the tower of Babel wanted to make a name for themselves that would be known throughout the whole world.

Chapter 4 Following Christ by Praising Him and Loving People

I was about to ruin my oldest son’s most exciting day of the year. He has been part of a one day a week school for the last two years, and the big finale of the school year is what they call a “Mock Trial.” My son had prepared for weeks with the other students in afternoon events, and had looked forward to this. And my son usually isn’t the kind of person who likes to leave the house. He’s a great son, and I’ve never really had any trouble with him even though he is almost 14. So I know I’m blessed. But he likes to be home. Since he was about five years old, when I would go someplace, he would never want to go. And as he got older, he would … So for him to be excited and look forward to this all-day event—where we would sit in a courtroom and hear kids present a trial case—meant it was a big deal. And we even bought him new clothes, and the one thing my son hates more than leaving the house is leaving for the purpose of buying clothes.

So here we are on the freeway, my phone is about to die and my car charger had recently broke, they’ve done so much construction near my house the last few years that I don’t trust my car’s ten year old navigation anymore, and we are out near who knows where.
It started when I clicked a link of the address to the church where the mock trial would be held without verifying that my phone’s navigation got the correct city. I clicked the link and the nav seemed to instantly know where I wanted to go. Well there just happened to be TWO destinations with the exact same address about 10 miles apart off the same freeway. And I was in front of the second one—the wrong one—about to cry.

We had already gotten a late start. One thing after another had gone wrong, and not just the regular stuff that goes wrong, but weird stuff that doesn’t usually go wrong. So we had just enough time to not be late, as long as nothing else went wrong. So driving ten miles out of the way didn’t help. I finally realized my mistake and began driving to the correct address with the correct city.

Neither of us really had any idea of what would happen when we got there, or the order of events, so my son began to think he would miss his turn to present altogether.

As we drove, I felt frustrated. I was sad that I hadn’t planned better, that so many random things went wrong before leaving. And it’s not like I haven’t had opportunities to practice getting four kids somewhere –I get to practice all the time. I started to feel like a failure. I let my son down.

I was so caught up in my emotional state.

When everything around us seems like it’s going wrong, we often look for someone or something to blame. When we are frustrated, we become hyper-focused on the source of that frustration. We miss God’s hand in our lives. Frustration causes us to have tunnel vision. Frustrated people are quick to complain and slow to give thanks.

What if we began to praise God in every situation? What if we changed the focus from frustration when things go wrong to praising God’s wisdom in how He is authoring our life?

The truth is, God calls us to be thankful and He doesn’t qualify that thankfulness. The Bible does not give exclusions—“Give thanks in everything, except when you are late to an important event and feel horrible.” Our thankfulness cannot be dependent on what is happening in our lives or we will always have an excuse to avoid thanking God.

When something seems to go wrong or a situation doesn’t comply with our plans, we need to step back and look at what God might be doing. Pause before allowing frustration, anger, or despair to get control of your emotions. Let God’s Spirit remind you that God is good, that He loves you, and that He …

Well known verse…First Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Give thanks…

Matthew Henry, “We shall see cause to give thanks for sparing and preventing, for common and uncommon, past and present, temporal and spiritual mercies. Not only for prosperous and pleasing, but also for afflicting providences, for chastisements and corrections; for God designs all for our good, though we at present see not how they tend to it.^[21]

When things do not go our way, we need to recognize that God is at work, and things have still gone His way. And that is the basis for our praise. God is…

In the short term, I wanted my son to be on time, to have a wonderful day. But in the long term, I want to develop in both him and I godly character. It would have been great to set an example of being on time, but I was past that point. Now I had to decide how I would react. Would I complain? Find blame and address the things that went wrong? Or could I praise God in this moment of stress?

I would need to apologize. That would be first. But then I chose to praise God. I said, …

Choosing to thank God in place of grumbling.

The goal of my day—ultimately—is that we would somehow please God in every moment. To remember Him, trust Him, and love Him at every moment. And so I knew I needed to praise God for my lateness. It certainly wasn’t His fault, but in His wisdom and goodness He allowed it, so I needed to thank Him for always knowing what is best for me.

If I laser focus on the little things of each day, I will miss the rest of the picture. I will forget that living before God with thankfulness, contentment, and trust are more important than … If I don’t watch myself, I will feel justified in complaining. I’ll think, “It’s okay if I’m frustrated that I’m late, because the godly thing to do is be on time. So my frustration and anger over this situation is the proper response.” And I’d have it all wrong. I’d …

I spent the rest of the car ride focused on how I could praise God for … Within minutes we were at the correct location, and though we did not know how we would find the room or … , God graciously allowed all the other students to go outside for pictures right as we pulled up. It was two minutes before start time. So Austin didn’t miss even one minute of his mock trial and …

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The greatest thing in life is to love God. There is nothing I want more in life than to please God, and through Scripture I learn that I accomplish this by focusing on two commands: Love God and love others. If I could get those down, I…

Loving God is the greatest accomplishment in life, the highest aim, the most noblest achievement. And yet all our love for God stems from understanding and believing His love for us. God loves us and we recognize His love and are therefore able to love Him in return.

The only two priorities we really need in life are that we might love God and love people.

Things we long for, but feel we miss...I long to be sold out, all in. But then I feel like my life should look way more “Jesus freak” than it does. I … What is your ….

So then I think, what does living fully for God, being sold out, being completely committed, actually look like on a day to day basis? What actions could I take to be more fully devoted to Jesus? Usually when I think anything I this, I then think, “When have I most seen this lived out? Who

I was feeling the other day like I wasn’t sure how to make the best use of my time that day. What did God really want me to do that day?

What I realized. In my heart—how could I love God most? Prayer, thankfulness, acknowledging His goodness, power, love, mercy, grace, holiness, etc. But then when it came to how I would spend my time that day, it really hit me. If I just focus on how I can answer the question, “How can I love people today?” then I would know how to spend my day. Who are the people that God has put in my life today? How can I best love them? Is there anyone else I should seek out? How can I love them?

This was so easy! God put my kids in my life. I would be spending my whole day with them. So first, all I needed to do was determine how I could best love them today? Hugging them, talking in a kind voice, teaching them about Jesus, looking at their faces when they talked to me, homeschooling, these were doable things. When I realized that I can know how to love God best each day by simply loving others best, I had such clarity. God had not called me to fly to the Comorros Islands and risk my life (not today, anyway). And so I could give up those feelings of—if I was in the Comorros Islands risking my life to tell people about Jesus—THEN I would REALLY be following Jesus. Then I would really be sold out. And I could praise God for today’s assignments. I could be content with my life today.

Being content with my calling is how I can trust God today, believe He is good, and show that He is enough.

I had made living for Jesus so complicated. It was a contest—not to win Christ—but to look spiritual by some random standard. Instead, I simply need to focus on loving God and loving others. And all the while, keep my eyes on Jesus and point the eyes of others to Jesus.

Now, in the midst of this discussion on pleasing God, following Him, loving others, it’s so important that we don’t miss our motive. The danger in any conversation about what we can DO as believers is thinking that what we do counts toward our salvation, or counts toward our righteous standing before God, or somehow helps us become more sure of the grace we have in Christ. The righteousness we have in Christ, the grace He gives us, those are FREE. We receive them by faith alone and never by anything we can do.

Here’s the thing. Each time we do anything good, worthy, amazing for Christ, there can be a temptation toward self-righteousness. We can think that we are making ourselves more deserving of God’s love, more worthy of His grace. And the focus dangerously shifts from His gift to our goodness. God wants us to find joy in living righteously, and living in a way that pleases God is for our happiness. (See link to my website for a list of verses on this point and a deeper explanation)

But if we define our righteousness before God by how we live, instead of believing that are righteousness has already been defined by how Jesus lived, we are following in the footsteps of the Pharisees that Jesus strongly condemned.

So please get this. In this book I am delving into our responsibilities as believers, into the calling we have from God as women. And I may not mention often that … but my heart that we would recognize Jesus as… is woven into every sentence. Grace is given by God freely, without any good work or act of …, but simply by receiving His gift by faith. The gift is free to us, but paid with the highest cost of all time, the blood of God’s only begotten Son. If we must do ANYTHING other than believe to earn salvation and righteousness, then we are calling the finished work of Jesus on the cross “Not Enough.”

nd in this cycle, the more we “live for Christ” the more we …

Thus, our desire to please God, to follow Jesus, is because God’s Holy Spirit dwells in us and …our appreciation for all God has given us…I want to do all I can to..

Additionally, if we try to earn salvation or … by our works,  eventually we will fail and this failure will bring guilt, despair, and condemnation. Our … has already been reserved for us—by God—which is why it is so important to remember that He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He began the work, gave us the faith to believe, made us able to follow Him.

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Loving people—where I spend my time, my money, my energy. Conversation with a Christian (Todd) whereas I thought this idea would be make things so easy, he viewed it as so hard. If we truly looked at everything in that lens of loving others, there may be much we have to change. We that lens must be guided 100% by Scripture.

For instance, a church without Biblical guidance may say, “We need to support all widows who do not receive enough Social Security or other income each month.” And this sounds noble. Afterall, what in the world would be wrong about giving to those who are struggling financially? And yet the Bible actually gives guidelines for this kind of giving:

“A widow is to be put on the list only if she is not less than sixty years old, having been the wife of one man, having a reputation for good works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to put younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of Christ, they want to get married, thus incurring condemnation, because they have set aside their previous pledge. At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow Satan. If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, she must assist them and the church must not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are widows indeed” (1 Timothy 5:9-16).

In other words, the church needed to follow guidelines so that those who receive financial help need it most and have lived in such a way as to…

This is a very specific list of requirements given to the church.

And though I’d love to dive into more depth about the meaning of this passage, I include it here because I wanted to give an example that our love for others must be contained within the Bible’s instruction. And sometimes God even instructs us to love others—like in the passage above—in ways that may be different than what we would naturally assume. I included this passage, not to make a point about what kinds of widows the church can care for, but so that someone who may think… would then say, “I didn’t realize that only widows above the age of sixty, known for good works, having raised children (raised, not born), faithful to one husband, hospitable, and even additional qualities, were to be taken care of by the church. I never expected that God would say “refuse to put younger widows on the list” of those whom the church…

This passage has so much, and we could get lost in wondering why God gives this instruction. Remember that God intends for churches to make the best use of the money they receive, and these instructions are incredibly practical.

But instead of diving into the meaning of the passage, let’s focus instead on the fact that God gave specific instructions for giving. Instructions we may not have expected. Sometimes what we assume to be right and good is not what God has instructed us to do. And so we must keep seeking wisdom and instruction in our love so that we can best honor God.

Something may seem loving, but when we evaluate the whole situation, we may realize that what seems loving to one person robs another person. For instance, a friend with a lot of free time may want to talk on the phone all day long. And without careful thought, I may feel like talking would be the most loving thing to do. We could talk about Jesus together and I could love her by spending that time with her. But when I re-evaluate, I can see that if I spend my whole day on the phone, my kids will be neglected, my husband will be neglected, my house will be neglected and I will have failed to love in the realm that is currently my highest priority. So I may chose to only talk for twenty minutes so that I can …

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When I come to that point in my day or week when I say, “What is the best use of my time?” I’ve begun to answer by asking, “How can I most love the people in my life?” This is where I really need to keep myself in God’s Word so that I don’t forget anything crucial.

This question has guided me when…  I’m amazed at how simple it is to plan my day—to understand how I can most the best use of my time—when I …

Three weeks ago I …story of how I applied the advice in this chapter. (tears?)

I could never have known that God would…

How we … matters. God calls us to experience life—life abundantly. Lives of joy, of peace, or hope. The stress of being scatterbrained, indecisive, or unsure about what God really wants from us—on a minute to minute level—have kept us from contentment and joy in our relationship with Him. When we become overwhelmed, we are sinking under the weight of a heavy yoke. Jesus said his yoke is light. Not stressful, not overwhelming, but light.

We have to evaluate every “heavy” burden and understand the cause of that heaviness. What is “heavy” to you today? Don’t miss that God wants you to experience life in knowing Him today. (Take best sentence from chapter and move it here.)

Chapter 6 Do you trust Him with your life?

Sometimes when I want to save something important on my computer, I’ll email it to myself at another email address. It’s not the most efficient backup plan, but it gives me a bit of peace of mind. On the day I wrote the story from the last chapter about the fire in my oven, I email what I’d written of this book to my website email. It’s the email I use for speaking requests and all those emails route back to my personal email, so the book would be saved in multiple in boxes, just in case something happened to my computer. The next day I got an email with something like: “The email you sent could not be delivered.” That was incredibly odd. It was my email. What was wrong with my email? Later, when I had a free moment, I began researching why my email wasn’t working. I then discovered that my entire website was down. I started a live chat with my hosting company and they said, “Yes, we shut down that website forty days ago.” Yikes!!!

Ten years of work—gone. I tried to understand what was happening.

They said that someone had called in to remove a credit card on the account and they shut down the website. I remembered my mom asking me if she could remove her credit card… A few year back, we had made  a trade that I would design a website for her business and she would pay for a webhosting plan that I would use for her business and also my personal websites. She no longer needed her website, but her credit card was still connected to the account.

“That’s fine,” I had said. I just figured the hosting company would email me for a new credit card. Then I forgot about it. Well somehow, when my mom called to cancel her credit card from the account, they thought she was asking to cancel the entire account. So they cancelled my webhosting account. After thirty days, they erase the content of all cancelled accounts automatically.

And just like that, my website was gone. Eleven years of writing articles, posting blogs, adding content, and everything else, gone. And I just wasn’t sure how to feel at that moment. My stomach felt like a giant rock was in the center, pushing down. My muscles were weak. I wanted to cry, but tears were not coming. Some of the content was saved on my computer, but we’ve gone through multiple computers throughout the years, and I’ve lost so many digital pictures and articles. I’ve tried to save them, but I keep telling myself that one day I’ll have time to get all my pictures and files organized on terabyte drives. But that day hadn’t come yet.

It was also another day where we had somewhere to go, and I needed to hurry and get ready. I jumped in the shower. There, I cried for a moment but not long. Then I remembered Job and said, “The Lord gives and Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” I felt relieved knowing God had only taken my website and not one of my children.

I thought, “Lord, the website was for you. All of this is so that I might serve You. If You want something different, then thank you Lord for taking the website. Thank You for intervening in my life. I praise You for Your wisdom in allowing this to happen because I know You are far wiser than me.”

I’m still bummed that I’m starting from scratch, and I still don’t know what God has for me in this part of life. But I’m thankful that He allowed it to happen because I know He has a purpose.

But I haven’t always found it so easy to trust God. During the time we lived in our small Dallas apartment, I came across some research online about how confined spaces can negatively impact lifespan. The conclusion of the study was something like, “People who live in smaller spaces don’t live as long as people with more room.” I felt disheartened. We lived in 980 square feet with no yard. After reading this article, I wondered why God allowed us to live there.

I often felt sorry for myself. “Everyone else has more room to raise their families.” “If only my kids had a backyard to play in.” …

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That’s not the only time I’ve looked at my life and wondered what God is doing. Have you ever wondered how God could be sovereign when things seem to be going so bad? Often, we don’t feel like we don’t trust God, but something in us doubts that God is fully, 100% in charge of our lives. We conclude that if God were more present, more active in our life, then our prayers would be answered faster and things would be easier.

But the truth is, God has allowed every trial and painful moment in our lives because He has a plan for those trials and a purpose for our pain. When we feel down, it’s time to look up. Let your sad moments remind you that God still loves you and will still faithfully complete the good work He began in you. Doubting God is not a result of hard times and rough circumstances, but those hard times only reveal a lack of trust that already existed.

Perhaps we do not trust God is really working everything for our good because we doubt He really loves us. Maybe that is one reason why Paul prayed so often for Christians to know God’s love deeply. I know that the more we know God, believe He loves us, and understand our purpose here on earth, the easier it becomes to trust Him.

If I am going to trust God when the hard times come, I must be convinced of certain things.

1. God will never leave me or forsake me.
2. Whatever I have is what God wants me to have, and I will choose to be content with that.
3. God’s way is best and therefore I must obey God regardless of how I feel.
4. Meditating on His Word is what will keep me from withering.
5. Part of trusting God in this life is looking forward to the glory to come.
6. When I feel discouraged or doubtful, I must take refuge in God by committing my requests to Him in prayer, spending time in His Word, and calling upon Him from the depths of my heart.

But

CONTENTMENT COMES FROM TRUSTING GOD

The way we trust God as we follow Him is by running to Him when we need comfort. God knows those who trust in Him, and so He protects those who depend on Him. Like sheep who trust their shepherd, and don’t want grass beyond the field the shepherd has chosen, in this way we trust in God.

The reason we can trust God is because He is capable of saving us, wise in what He allows for us, and full of kindness toward those who trust in Him. In other words, God is sovereign, good, loving, wise, and powerful. We must trust God’s character even when things are difficult. None of us want things in our life to go “wrong”. But even when things do not go as we hoped, we can be assured that God is allowing every circumstance for a purpose, for our good, and because He loves us.

God is sovereign over every circumstance in our life. His divine purpose covers everything that happens in life. When I rely on my human understanding, especially things that I read or hear, I can begin to doubt God’s plan in my life.

But I know the root of discontentment is really the doubt of God's goodness. Was God good in Numbers 21 when He kept sending manna for the Israelites, even though they had grown so sick of eating manna that they cried out, “We detest this miserable food!”? Yes. And was God good when He sent deadly snakes among the people, so that many people began dying, as a consequence for complaining about the food? Yes. Looking back, we can see just how wise God is.

In Numbers, the Israelites complained about their circumstances repeatedly. Finally, God sent snakes and the people began dying. The people asked Moses to pray for them, that God would take away the snakes. And this is remarkable. God did not take away the snakes. Instead, God directed Moses to create a bronze snake, the image of the very thing that was killing them. When the Israelites looked at the bronze serpent, they wouldn't die from the snake bites.

This was a picture of Christ, who became the very thing that was killing us. Jesus who was sinless became sin for us, 2 Corinthians 5:21 tells us. When we look at Jesus, who became sin for us, we are saved from our sin, and when the Israelites looked at the bronze serpent, they were saved from the poisonous snakes. What's more, after this severe punishment, the Israelites finally learned to stop complaining.

QUESTIONING LIFE

Part of the problem with questioning why things are the way they are, is that this can quickly avalanche into jealously at people who have the things we want. Or we can grumble against the Lord, instead of trusting His goodness in our lives.

Sometimes I've found that when I'm not content, I end up just being sad, thinking something must have gone wrong somewhere. Is God not sovereign? Is He not good? Is he not all powerful? Does He not love me? Is God not wise and does He not know all things? Since the answer is YES. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. God is wise and powerful and sovereign and good and He loves me. Then my questions have to also be answered with, “Then I will trust Him.” And I think of Job who said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him” (Job 13:15).

To truly follow Christ, we must fully trust Him. If we don’t trust where He leads us, how will we follow? We will second guess every step. We will doubt that obeying God is really the best choice.

If I don’t trust God with my marriage, then when things are hard, I’ll wonder if staying married is really best for me?

And best doesn’t mean “least painful” “easiest” or even happiest. Disclaimer what it means to trust God…

If we trust God with our life, then whatever He does, we know He is

Right now everything in my life is on hold. No speaking events, no books. Just life, homeschooling, and housework. But I’m good. I don’t long for fame or success the way I used to long for those things. I had some taste of them.

Chapter 7 How to Follow Christ / the power of His resurrection

“That I may know… the power of his resurrection.” Phil. 3:10

I stood in my kitchen, finally strengthened enough to get back to some sort of schedule. The cold that had taken over my life the last week had subsided, and I had enough strength to begin getting the house back to normal. But as I stood in front of the dishwasher, ready to rinse and load a round of dishes, I thought of all the other things that had fallen miserably behind. The overflowing laundry baskets would take hours to wash, sort, and put away. Plus I had a list of phone calls to make, emails to return, bills to pay and reconcile, mail to sort and purge, and all the other miscellaneous things that I find myself bombarded with daily—times seven.

Feeling very overwhelmed, I prayed, “Please help me, Lord. I cannot do this!”  My body was weak, and I needed God’s strength. Because I’d fallen out of step with my routines, getting back on the dance floor of housework seemed like too much of a task. So I walked over to the couch and sat down with my Bible. So if you ever come over to my house and wonder why my dishes aren’t done, you can just figure it was because I read my Bible so much that day.

I needed the same power that raised Christ from the dead to strengthen me. Plus, it’s much easier for me to sit on the couch and spend time getting strength from God than it is for me to clean the house in my own strength.

I did eventually get up and clean. God empowered me to do what I needed to do. My sinful nature could have easily crawled back into bed and not done what would have honored my husband, namely, my responsibilities as the keeper of the home. But God caused me to do what I know needed to be done.

Because the Holy Spirit of the Living God dwells in me, I’m able to do things that aren’t always easy. When I feel overwhelmed, sometimes my mind goes blank and I just don’t know where to start.

I grew up going to church every week. I learned about Jesus and knew the Bible well just from years of Sunday school and children’s ministry and then Christian school for a couple years. And I believed the Bible was true. I “asked Jesus into my heart” at five years old. I would always recommit my life to Jesus every year at church summer camp. But I was also torn by the world. I wanted to try the things the world offered. I still love to experience new things. If Todd and I go out to eat, he will order something he knows he will like, and I will order something that is most unlike anything I’ve ever had before. I’ve always been curious, but my curiosity is unproductive at best and dangerous at worst when my heart is in the wrong place.

At age fifteen, my parents sent me to live in Texas at a Christian youth home for troubled teenagers. I really don’t think I was worse than many of the other kids in my high school. I simply did what many other people I knew did, but it … I wasn’t allowed to hang out with boys and age my age, it seemed like everyone else was, so I would sneak out so I wouldn’t feel left out. When my parents caught me, they were very upset. And then we argued for months. I would yell that they were too overprotective and they would say something back—but I don’t remember what it was because I was fifteen and I don’t think I listened back then.

Finally, they sent me to a youth home. I was one of the only kids that actually wanted to be there. When other kids would run away, the adventure sounded fun. But I was happy to stay.

My counselor was an incredibly godly woman, and she met with me once a week one-on-one. We had gotten to the point in our meetings where I knew I wanted to walk with Jesus. So Maury asked me something like, “What does it look like to you to start living for Him?” And I described what it would be like to walk off a cliff. In other words, the scariest thing ever. Scarier than sneaking out. Scarier than trying drugs. Scarier than anything else I had done. And the weird thing was, I had committed my life to Jesus before. So many times.

So then she asked me, “What would the first step look like?” Basically, don’t look at every part all at once, but just the very first, teeny tiny step.

We are able to do difficult things because God has given you His Holy Spirit as the seal of your salvation (Eph. 1:13). The Holy Spirit gives us the power we need to obey God when we would otherwise be powerless. When we receive power from on high, we experience the same power in our lives that raised Jesus from the dead.

Let’s look closely at this great power that raised Christ from the dead.

#1: Power to be Made Right With God

My first memory of being really happy took place at age five. We lived in Brea, California, and my mom asked if I would like to accept Jesus into my heart. I wanted to, so she led me into our carpeted downstairs bathroom where we prayed the sinner’s prayer. When I tell people this story, I often get asked, “Why in the world did you go into the bathroom to pray?” I laugh at that now, because even with carpet, I still don’t know why my mom chose the bathroom.

I don’t recall everything about the experience, but I do remember this: as soon as we finished the “sinner’s prayer,” I hid in the corner, probably next to the toilet. I had a huge smile on my face that I didn’t want my mom to see. I waited until she left the bathroom and then ran to my room, where I could smile without being embarrassed.

Growing up, I remember times at church camp when I felt so close with the Lord. In the fifth grade, I remember lying on my bed in my room, crying and writing in my journal, “Lord, I give you my whole life. I surrender to You. I want to always walk with You.”

Those were the ups. I also had my downs and experimented with worldly things. Throughout my high school years, I would try very hard to walk with the Lord, sometimes for a week, sometimes for several months, and then fall back into living like an unbeliever.

Every year a huge crusade was held in the Anaheim Baseball Stadium near my house. Though I had never been to the crusade, I really wanted to go so my unsaved boyfriend could become a Christian. Though I was only 14 years old, my boyfriend was a senior and had a car. He could drive us wherever we wanted. But my parents were super-overprotective. They would never let me go to the Harvest Crusade at 14 with a boy. I would have to sneak out of the house to get there.

After waiting for my parents to fall asleep, I crept out my bedroom window, ran down the block, and met my boyfriend at his car. We drove straight to the Harvest Crusade, but when we arrived, we had already missed the gospel presentation and the alter call was about to end. But after all that trouble, I wasn’t about to give up. So I dragged him down to the field and over to a counselor and three others. I said, “Could you please tell him what he missed.” Instead, she simply gave him a New Believer’s Book and said he could read it. He never did get born again.

Toward the end of my junior year of high school, I weighed about 15 pounds more than my ideal and I was sick of feeling fat. I also felt lonely and stressed and wanted a mental escape. So I said to myself, So I said to myself, “I need to start doing something to numb how I feel. If I drink alcohol or smoke pot, I’ll just gain even more weight. Cocaine and heroin are hard core drugs, so I’ll stay far away from those. But if I do speed, I’ll get skinny.” So I started doing speed, proud of myself for making such a well thought out decision.

When I finally got to that super skinny weight—107 lbs., the weight that I thought would make me happy and take so many problems away—I sat in my friend’s driveway, wrapped my arms around my bony legs and thought, “This is all there is? It doesn’t even matter that I’m stick skinny. I don’t feel any better. And nobody else really cares either.”

During those seven months of drug use, I became more and more fascinated by the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. I would quote Solomon’s words to my friends: “Everything is meaningless, meaningless, meaningless” (Eccles. 1:1). And for me, in those months, life appeared meaningless.

However, God seemed to be drawing me to Himself more intensely than ever before. In the middle of that summer, I stood in the shower after having been awake for several days, and prayed with tears streaming down my face, “Lord, I want to walk with you. Please make me able to do it. Please take my life and make me obey you.”

Soon after, while leaving the Smith’s grocery store by my house at midnight, I ran into some guys I knew were Christians. I only knew one of them on an acquaintance level, and didn’t know the others at all. But I didn’t care about that right then. I hurried over to them and said, “I’m a Christian and I want to follow God, but I’m doing speed and I’m not sure what to do and that’s why I’m talking to you and...” And on I went.

One of them reminded me of the parable of the lost sheep. In this parable from Luke 15:3-7, when one of the shepherd’s 100 sheep goes astray, the shepherd leaves the 99 sheep behind to find the 1 sheep who was lost. I knew this parable well, and said with excited relief, “I’m the lost sheep!”

When I finally returned to my friend who waited for me in her car in the parking lot, I hyperactively told her all about how I was the lost sheep, and how God was pursuing me, and how I would walk with Him again soon. She looked at me blankly.

My senior year of school started, and I kept using drugs. On the urging of my school friends, I quit for about two weeks. Miserable off speed, I thought to myself, “Why did I ever quit? Life isn’t better off drugs.”

So that weekend I decided to start using speed again. I went out with an older older friend of mine, determined to get high and escape the pressure I felt.

We planned on staying up all night long. As we went from place to place during the middle of that late summer night, my awareness of God was heightened beyond what I could have ever conjured up.

As Marc and I stood on the top of some playground equipment at a local school, I looked up to the stars and realized that my God was BIG. I kept repeating a phrase from Ecclesiastes 5:7, which says, “stand in awe of God.” I stood in awe of God.

As the strongest realization I had ever known of God’s greatness pressed itself upon my heart, God also began to show me something else. It was as if He spoke the words to me that night, “Katie, I love you.” Suddenly these two great truths collided, and I was forced out of the tunnel into the clear light of truth. The great, powerful, awesome, unfathomable God loved me!

God made Himself known to me right in the middle of my sinful abyss and I could not contain the strength of that knowledge without responding. All night long I told Marc about these things happening in my heart. As the sun neared its dawn, we drove to a hill only a minute or so from my house and stood looking out at the city. I don’t remember the words I said that night, but as light began to consume the darkness of night, Marc turned and said to me, “If you know all these things are true, why are you such a hypocrite?”

Never had that obvious thought crossed my mind before! But I realized he was right and I was a hypocrite. How could I, so aware of the glory of God and His concern for me, refuse to obey Him any longer? How could I reject His sufficient grace? God had made Himself to me the water that a dying and dehydrated desert wanderer is searching for. Here I stood at the oasis of His mercy and grace unable to do anything but follow Him. God’s grace beckoned me and God’s grace enabled me to follow.

I went home that morning and told my parents I needed to talk to them. I said I’d been doing drugs but I had quit that day because I was going to walk with God. (I had been working very hard to hide the drug use.) I don’t remember their reaction or what they said, but I knew I needed to tell them. I spent the day in my bedroom preparing myself for whatever God had for me.

The next morning, a perfectly timed Sunday, I got up and prepared myself for church. I decided to go to a different church—one that I had gone to for a few weeks several years back. At that place I had seen people on fire for God to a degree I had never seen before. Those people had a special zeal for God that made them want to eagerly share the gospel with the lost and stay up late in prayer and then wake up early to seek God. I found among them a passionate hunger to study the Bible like it was the greatest treasure they had ever found.

I got involved in that church as much as I could. I was a senior in high school, and I spent a good five days a week in church activities. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I went to the prayer meeting. On Thursday nights I went to Bible study. On Friday nights I went to Bible study again and then afterward we all went out street witnessing. Then on Sunday mornings I went to church again.

After the Friday night Bible study, a group would often go out to a nearby parking lot and preach the gospel. A huge group of kids from a different high school would hang out there, which provided a perfect time to talk about Jesus with them. After one Friday night of witnessing, I came home, looked in the mirror at myself and thought, “I feel happier and more alive, more exhilarated than I have ever felt in my life!” I compared that feeling to things I had experimented with in the past. Nothing could compare.

The same power that had raised Christ Jesus from the dead enabled me to walk with God in a more serious way. Romans 8:11 says, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” That same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead gave me life from the dead. Even at five years old, when God saved me, it was His resurrection power at work in me. Then at seventeen years old, when I needed His power to commit myself more fully to God in obedience, it was God’s power that gave me the obedient heart.

The Source of Power

So what is the source of this power to be made right with God? How was this power accessed in my own life? From where does this power come? Romans 1:16 says that the gospel is the source of our power to be made right with God: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” In other words, because I heard and believed the gospel, I was able to have power from God to become His child.

John 1:12 sheds more light on this truth: “But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God” (RSV). When Jesus, the sinless only begotten Son of God, was brutally beaten and crucified—it was for our sins. When He rose again from the dead, it was for our justification. His resurrection was the means by which we are declared blameless by God (Rom. 4:24-25). By the resurrection of Jesus we have power to be made right with God.

I would have had no power to approach God or be declared righteous by Him if Jesus Christ had not first made a way for me. Because of His sinless death and powerful resurrection, a road was paved for me to meet with God. When I believed in Jesus Christ as my Savior, God the Father made me His child. The good news that Jesus Christ rose from the dead becomes the power we need to be reconciled to God.

#2: Power to Do What is Right

In addition to receiving power by the resurrection to be made right with God, I also received power to continue in obedience. After I had determined to please God at any cost, I probably experienced the hardest year of my Christian life. Though it was a year filled with joy beyond what I had ever known, it was also a year of stretching and change. But God enabled me to do what pleased Him, by His grace. He equipped me with power to do what He required. There were two specific areas in my life where I found God gave me supernatural power that I had never known before.

Sharing the Gospel with Others— Nothing I had ever done in all my life was harder than sharing the gospel with strangers! I had never experienced so much rejection before. I had an unyielding pressure upon me to tell others about Jesus, but my natural personality would never dream of approaching anyone to confront them with their eternal salvation.

When I knew I would be going anywhere where unsaved people would be, I experienced a desire to share with them coupled with natural hesitation. Because my own innate personality is not naturally bold, the boldness I received was a gift from God. The power I had to deny myself and share the gospel even at the risk of looking stupid or offending someone was a power not my own. Acts 1:8 says, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

When I was empowered to faithfully communicate the salvation message with an unsaved person, it was always an awesome work of the Holy Spirit. Since part of the result of being filled with the Holy Spirit is joy, after I would preach the gospel, I always experienced a great supernatural joy. After I would go out and share the good news of salvation through Jesus Christ with others, I would come home so fired up and excited about God.

Dedicating Time to Seek God—As I desired to draw near to God, I would read the Bible and open my heart to what it said.  As I read, different verses would make sense and I would feel that God was “speaking to me” through His Word. However, I wasn’t experiencing anything different then that you or I would experience now.  His Word is still living and powerful.

The time I spent seeking God was not a magic formula. It was coming to the Bible with simple faith and believing that what God said was true. Sometimes I would just pray and read the Bible. Other times I would sing to the Lord songs of praise. And I even had seasons when I had no words—I would just lie on the floor before my Lord and know that He saw my life and was faithful.

When I look back at each season, I see what a difference those times of being faithful to seek God made in my life. In my younger years as a Christian, I would wake up between 5 and 6 am and have“morning devotion.” During this time, I would find a quiet place where I would read the Bible and write my prayers to the Lord in my journal. Those were special times! We find the pattern of waking up early to seek God specifically in these two verses: David says in Psalm 5:3, “O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.” We also see a time in the gospels when Jesus arose while it was still very dark and went to a solitary place to pray (Mark 1:35).

But time spent with God is not confined to just the morning. If anyone is going to be a stickler about exactly when we should spend time with God, I would refer them to Luke 6:12: “In these days [Jesus] went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God.” Now that’s an example!

There are many times and ways to have your intimate times with God. What is important is that you are able to learn more about God from the Bible and pour out your own heart before Him.

When I miss a day or two of personal and intimate time with God, I become more susceptible to falling apart emotionally and getting upset or frustrated when things aren’t going my way. When I’m diligent to seek God, my desire for God is awakened and I long for Him all day long. I notice that I am more at peace, more trusting, and much more joyful.

Let me compare seeking God with water. I am a pretty avid water drinker. But when I go for a few days and forget to drink more than a few cups of water, my thirst for water decreases. I don’t notice that I’m missing anything until my body begins to crave juices, cereals, or anything else with liquid. But when I am drinking water all through the day, I seem to continually thirst for more water.

In the same way, when I’ve consistently missed time with my Lord, I’ve been more prone to a decrease in my thirst for Him. During that time when I was very dedicated to spending at least two hours praying and reading my Bible each morning, instead of satisfying my desire for God, that was a time in my life when I longed for Him with greatest yearning. All through the day, when I would have free time, I would find myself sitting in a chair with my Bible just so I could again have more of His soul-satisfying Word. The more I tasted His goodness, the more I longed for Him even further.

The desire for God and all my ability to seek Him have been His gift to me. The promise God gives us is found in 2 Timothy 1:7. There we find that God will and does give us the power we need to do what pleases Him. “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” He gives us the power to wake up early, to labor in prayer, and to diligently study His Word. He gives us the power to draw near to Him, to love His Presence, and the self-control to press on to know Him even when it becomes difficult.

#3: Power to Receive Eternal Life

The third blessing we will experience because of Christ’s resurrection is eternal life. The evidence we are heirs of eternal life is that Christ was first raised from the dead. Because Jesus our Savior was raised up from the dead, we have the sure expectation of being raised from the dead also: “God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power” (1 Cor. 6:14).

What a hope we have! When I die physically, God will work in me the same power He worked in Jesus His Son. I will receive a glorified body. Even now I have been spiritually raised from the dead—I’m just waiting to be glorified! When my perishable body dies, I will be raised in an imperishable, glorious body (1 Cor. 15:42).

The power of Christ’s resurrection in my own life has taken me from a pitiful hypocrite to a woman who intensely longs to do what pleases God. I would rather live in a cave my whole life and know the power of the resurrection than have all the treasures of this world and miss out on experiencing the great power that raised Jesus from the dead.

Precious one, have you experienced the power over sin that comes from God? Do you know what it feels like to be made right with God and know that He sees you as blameless before Him? Have you tasted the freedom that comes from doing what pleases God? If you will seek to know and obey Christ Jesus at any cost, prepare to taste the sweetness of God’s power and victory in your life! Be ready to rejoice in the freedom that comes from a sure expectation of life after death!

Chapter 8 Counting the Cost

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:7-8).

When my husband Todd and I first got married, we were broke! I had spent the year before our wedding going to college full time while working part time. Todd spent the year in a full time ministry training program. We entered marriage excited about life but sorely unequipped for the realities of rent and buying food. After finally getting a remarkable deal on our first apartment, and (with the help of my parents) getting the money we needed to move in, we had nothing left for the extra things in life like furniture.

My bedroom furniture from childhood followed us to the apartment, but the rest of the house was bare. Some precious friends from church bought some new couches and gave us their previous ones, and my husband’s sister and brother-in-law gave us a kitchen table—but we still had no chairs.

Months passed, and still our table remained chair-less. Then my parents suggested we could have their lawn chairs. Being that they were better than nothing, we willingly took them home.

Now let me tell you about these chairs. They were made of plastic and were a forest green color, once, many years before they came into our house. How long my parents had actually owned the chairs was unknown. The first couple layers of plastic had already disintegrated and guests were sometimes reluctant to even sit in them!

There were anything but pretty. But they were functional, and that was what mattered most. For almost three years we lived in that apartment. And when we moved, we still used the same ugly-looking chairs. We finally bought a house, and in our beautiful new kitchen sat our old dilapidated green chairs with the white pasty coating.

Now, though I did want to get new chairs, I never really minded having the old, outdoor ones. I had shopped for new chairs a few times, and, as a young married woman, the prices completely shocked me. The thought of ever having beautiful kitchen chairs seemed only like a far off desire. I just thought it would be nice to have something that didn’t scare people when they came to our house.

The day finally came when my husband made up his mind that we were going to the store to get nicer furniture. Being on the financially conservative side, I protested a bit. But when we did get beautiful, new, inviting chairs—and the old ones were taken out—they weren’t missed.

The old chairs had to leave to make room for the new ones. The lesser had to be removed or else there wouldn’t be room for the greater. When we fully devote ourselves to pursue Jesus, there are many things we may give up. When we trade the things we may gain in this world for knowing Christ and eternal life, we’re trading what’s old and worthless with what’s new and glorious.  This is part of what it is to be a Christian. Jesus said that if anyone would follow Him, they would need to “deny [themselves], and take up [their] cross daily and follow [Him].”[22]

To deny ourselves means to sacrifice, to abandon, to freely leave behind everything that would keep us from following Christ completely, everything that would keep us from obeying God and doing what pleases Him. Thus things that may have once been dear to us—possibly wealth or things we owned, the favor or acceptance of people, social circles that we were welcomed in, a reputation we had, a title or position, a way we looked, a life that was comfortable to us—all those things and more may sometimes need to be given up if we will follow Jesus unreservedly.

I have given up the freedom to get drunk whenever life is hard, to “try” different husbands, or to be deceitful with others. I am even required to trade the easy attitude of complaint for one of thankfulness. This is a super short list of things we trade for Christ, but they are like old, peeling yard chairs in comparison to eternal life.

Another reason why I believe we must deny ourselves is that those things we want for ourselves will distract us from Christ even after we know Him. When I fail to deny myself, my focus and aim and energy becomes divided. I become torn between pleasing myself and pleasing Christ. I may want to act bitter or angry with my husband to get my way—and in doing that my focus is on pleasing Katie—but God may be calling me to simply love and forgive my husband in that moment. Denying myself may mean laying showing kindness when I feel being upset. It may mean listening to my kids when I really want to read an article on the internet.

The daily practice of denying myself is often trading what I feel like doing with what God instructs me to do in His Word. When I feel like complaining, I give thanks. When I feel like remembering past wrongs, I pray blessings over the wrongdoers.

COUNTING DIVORCE AS LOSS

Organization has never been my strongest quality. During the first eight years or so of marriage, while I struggled with what to do with stuff, I usually got by okay and kept a generally clean house as long as we had a garage or someplace for extra storage.

But then in 2009 we moved into a two bedroom townhouse with no garage and barely enough space for what we needed each day. And while the first year or two were still fine, by the third year in that townhome, our stuff outgrew our space.

The longer time went on, the more cluttered it got. Though I pretty much never bought stuff, still we kept accumulating more and more. People would give us things. Our kids would outgrow their clothes and need new ones, but I would save the old ones for the next kid. My husband would need supplies and tools to fix things as he did the maintenance for the all the townhomes in our complex. I also had the books we used for homeschooling, the forms and supplies for managing the townhomes, the toys my kids liked to play with, a large dehumidifier for when any of the townhomes would flood (which we finally had to store in the bathtub), plus photo albums and winter sweaters and saws and drills and spackle and paint cans and a stroller and my son’s bicycle and the list goes on.

Sometimes I would spend hours trying to rearrange toys and boxes of clothes and maintenance supplies, but I always felt like I was treading water and getting nowhere. I remember spending hours on research about what to do with a large stroller in a small apartment, but every answer led to spending money that we didn’t have. I felt sorry for myself. I developed a huge amount of compassion for the moms with large families in my complex, all of whom shared this struggle to make a home when there just wasn’t space for the daily things.

Like most wives, I wanted my husband to be happy. But the one thing Todd appreciates most is when I provide him a clean, orderly, roomy house. He doesn’t care much about my weight, how I look, or even if I make him lunch each day. He cares a little more about having a good meal waiting for him at dinnertime, and he likes to be thanked each day for working hard. But above all, he wants his home to be his retreat. And I couldn’t give him that, no matter how hard I tried.

I lived with knowing that unless God did a miracle, there was no way out. I despaired of life ever getting better. I prayed for a miracle. I waited for a miracle. But another year passed.

Psalm 73 comes to mind. It describes my heart at times in that season: “For I was envious…as I saw the prosperity of the wicked…They are not in trouble as other men, nor are they plagued like mankind…Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and washed my hands in innocence; For I have been stricken all day long and chastened every morning” (Vs. 3, 5, 13-14).

Asaph’s words, quoted above from Psalm 73, describe so well what I felt. “For I have been stricken all day long and chastened every morning.” I was obeying God, staying married, and suffering the most.

I tell this story because I the idea of ever divorcing is what I have most had to count loss. There have been many little things I have “counted loss” over the years. But those things did not hurt so badly.

I don’t know what the other side of divorce looks like. I did not ever seriously entertain the idea because I knew I had to count that loss. I knew that while others got divorced, while others enjoyed lives with more comfort than mine, this was the way I would live for Jesus. I knew that whatever dream I had to be financially set for life, whatever desires I had to buy pretty matching furniture or to live comfortably, those desires needed to be counted as loss if I would follow and obey Jesus.

I had to surrender all my expectations of life and marriage and normalcy. This is how I honor God. I stay married. I love my husband and serve him when we are doing great, but also when we are barely getting enough air to stay alive. I had to count the option to divorce as loss.[23]

Now I must add, Todd is so dear to me. It would break my heart to be apart from him. And just thinking about my children without their daddy utterly crushes me. I only feel safe recounting that story because I am no longer in that place.

COUNTING GREATNESS AS LOSS

I saw on Pinterest: “God has a habit of picking up nobodies and making them somebodies.” And it struck me—but not in the way it probably struck most other people. Before I really determined to follow Jesus, I obliviously thought I would become a “somebody.” I thought maybe there was something special about me. I was in my late teens at this time, and I thought this feeling was unique to me. As I’ve grown much older, I now realize that most people feel this way at some point.

And if we don’t naturally feel that we there is something unique and special about us, then as Christians, somewhere along this line many of us begin to believe that if we follow Jesus, He will make us into something so special, everyone will recognize how special we are. Maybe we even hear that if we follow Jesus, we will never feel disappointment. Somewhere in our hearts we feel that God will make all our dreams come true—here, in this life on earth, as soon as we desire those dreams. And in believing that God’s intention in our lives is to make us great, make our dreams come true, and make us happy, we miss what it means to follow Jesus. We lose sight of our call to deny ourselves, pick up a cross daily, and count as loss whatever might have been gain to us.

I don’t even understand what that Pinterest quote even means, unless the reference is our importance in heaven, and then it makes perfect, beautiful sense. But here on earth, my experience has felt like the opposite. God has allowed me—in His goodness that I don’t fully understand—to become a nobody. To live in my house, mostly home all day homeschooling, cleaning, or cooking. And so, I’m over it here on earth. I’m over being somebody here on earth. But I really don’t want to be a nobody in heaven. I really don’t want to come through the fire and give thanks that my wood, hay, and stubble is burned away (although I am so thankful for that), but watch as very few, if any, gold and precious jewels come out. At least if I’m a nobody here on earth, please Lord, please, please make me a somebody to you.

Maybe the author of that quote simply meant that we become somebodies in the grand scheme of things. That compared to everyone who becomes forgotten in eternal separation from God, we who love Him will shine forever. I hope that is what this quote means, but if God’s purpose in our lives is to make us important here on earth, I think I might quickly feel despair.

But rather than take what any person says and make it my doctrine, rather I must RUN to God’s Word. And I remember Timothy’s mother and grandmother. Like the majority of women in the Bible who are praised, it’s not for grand, heroic deeds that make us important “somebodies.” But rather, they are praised, remembered, significant for the things that I can also do.

I mentioned this before, but I must even remind myself of it again. Sarah obeyed Abraham. Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught him the Bible. Solomon’s mother (the author of Proverbs 31) wrote a Proverb and taught it to her son. Dorcas sewed and gave away garments. I do some of those things. Not all. But each of those women didn’t do all of them either.

When I run to God’s Word I am also reminded that I have put my eyes on me. Some of that is necessary—we need to consider ourselves, to check our salvation, to examine ourselves. But when I am looking at being a somebody, some of that is a lack of being satisfied by Jesus. In other words, I am wanting to exalt Katie.

My satisfaction and my greatness is that I know Jesus. Knowing Him, being found in Him, loving Him and being loved by Him—that is enough. I do not need to be made a “somebody.” He is the greatest “somebody” and knowing Him is enough.

HAVING EVERYTHING

Right before I came to that point in my life when I committed myself for the final time to following Jesus, I spent a lot of time reading Ecclesiastes.  I used to bring my Bible with me everywhere, even though none of my friends were Christians.  But I was fascinated by the words of Solomon.  Here was this man to whom God had given extraordinary wisdom, and that wisdom accompanied all the worldly things that someone could want.  He had his own musicians, beautiful gardens, the best foods, and more wealth than any other living person at the time. He was the king of Israel and Judah, before they split apart. He had 300 wives and 700 concubines, so he had no lack of beautiful women in his life. In other words, he had basically everything that we could desire. He had all the glory, all the praise, all the fame, all the adoration, and anything else we might ever want in the way of praise or recognition.

It was fascinating for me to hear from someone who has it all. What is that like? He had it all, he tried it all, he research and explored and experienced everything to find out which things really satisfy. He tried indulging himself with wine, laughter, pleasure, houses, gardens, vineyards, parks, servants, flocks, extreme wealth, extreme knowledge, hundreds of women, and everything else that we think might bring satisfaction here on earth.

And once he tried everything, his conclusion was everything is meaningless. This lesson is one of those things that we can either learn from experience the hard way or we believe and trust God and go the easier way.  Solomon already tested those things for us.  Solomon has already told us.  The final result of getting everything we might want in this life leads to meaninglessness. REF Jesus said something similar, “What does it profit a man…REF

But Jesus didn’t leave us with what is meaningless. Rather, He also tells us the one thing in life that still has meaning. That’s the life of denying yourself, of sacrificing what we want in life and just giving ourselves fully over completely over to obeying God and being pleasing to Him.

“And [Jesus] summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels” (Mark 8:34-38).

I want to focus in on these words from Jesus: “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.” How can we “lose our lives”? The MacArthur Study Bible says this losing our lives: “This paradoxical saying reveals an important spiritual truth: those who pursue a life of ease, comfort, and acceptance by the world will not find eternal life.  On the other hand, those who give up their lives for the sake of Christ and the gospel will find it.”

I love the way John MacArthur uses the phrase “those who pursue a life of acceptance by the world” because the world looks very disapprovingly upon people who really go of their way to follow Christ. The world looks disapprovingly upon people who take the call to follow Christ seriously. When someone really makes an effort to live a holy life and to make Christ known, whether they mean to or not, those people remind the world of God and the judgment to come.

We know this is true because in 1 Corinthians 2:16 says believers are the smell of death to the world. Our lives become like the smell of a dirty rotting corpse—but only to those who are perishing. And so the world hates us.

On the other side, those who pursue the acceptance of the world are not living pleasing to God. The Bible even says, “if any one loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. REF

Solomon had it all. He experienced the life of gaining the world, of saving his life. But the more he gained, the more he understood that the things we pursue here on earth have no eternal value. They are meaningless, vanity, without true value. But when we lose our life for the sake of Jesus, when we give up having everything here on earth so we may gain eternal life, then life becomes meaningful. It profits nothing to gain the whole world if your soul is lost.

Jesus then makes this very practical. “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” If we are ashamed of Jesus and His Words, we have not denied ourselves. If we are ashamed of what God has said—and we ignore Scriptures that would make us unlikeable to the world—we are seeking to gain life here on earth.

Paul said that he counted all things loss in his pursuit of Christ. This isn’t an easy topic. But God didn’t accidentally include any verses in His perfect Word. So when Jesus says we must deny ourselves to follow Him, He means it.

In reflecting on our own hearts, and what we would trade for Christ, here are some questions to consider: Is there anything that would be too much to keep you from following Christ? What would it take for you to stop obeying God? If you knew that obeying God would cause you to be chained for years to the wall of an underground jail, would that be too much? Do you have a turning point—a point that would be too much for you? A consequence that would be too severe? Are there words that Jesus spoke you would be ashamed of?

None of us are perfect. Grace….

SUBTITLE

I’ve been reading autobiographies of other Christian women lately—those who go to others countries as missionaries, those with cancer, those who have big ministries here in the USA, and each of them has such interesting, significant lives. It can be easy for me to compare myself with others, to think I am not being used because my life doesn’t match someone else’s life. Sometimes I wish I could read a book about someone just like me: A person with nothing really significant at all in her life except that sometimes life is hard and she just really wants to follow Jesus. And who feels like she just isn’t doing good enough. But who just wants to follow Jesus, but often then means honoring her husband by cleaning her house.

We don’t often think of sold-out, fully committed, all-in, Jesus freaks as women who spend their days simply keeping a house clean. When it’s my own life, I can despise these days of small things. I can lightly regard moments of simple obedience. And because we are unnoticed, unseen by other Christians, we can think God misses us also.

Maybe you have felt like you missed your great calling by God because your life seems mundane, simple.

THE TRUE COST

A while back, before our move to Texas, my husband and I decided to move to Yorba Linda, California, to be close to the church we wanted to attend. We started looking at homes to buy, but while we owned a home in Bakersfield, our current home was significantly cheaper than Yorba Linda. There was going to be a big price increase so we looked for a home that we could try to afford.

The market at the time … now to give you an idea what prices were at that time—a small two-bedroom condo on the second floor similar to a two bedroom apartment would have run you about $350,000.  Were not cheap and this is not of this is nothing else in the city. Rents were expensive everything was expensive. So we wanted to buy a house we thought would be there for a long time.  And we looked and looked and finally we found this incredible deal for house for $440,000.  We were able to buy a house that was falling down a hill. The the foundation of the house was about 2 in. higher in the front and was in the back and so we had this House that was basically unlivable and we bought it and my husband had construction experience and so we thought it would be a few months to fix it up and be able to move in. Well three months very sadly turned into almost three years.  It took a lot more time and a lot more money than we had previously thought.  And I kept thinking during that time of a parable that Jesus told in the gospels.

Jesus told a story in Luke Chapter 14 verses 27-30 “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 “For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? 29 “Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’”

I kept praying please God please let us finish this house and I would think of the verse we just read and think about how Jesus said, If anyone lays a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it began to ridicule him. In other words, Don’t build a house unless you can finish the job.  And praise God by his help we were able to eventually finish.

Then in verse 33 Jesus concludes what He’s saying by making this strong powerful and F definitive statement about following Him. Luke 14:33 “So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.” John MacArthur, in the John McArthur Study Bible says about this verse; “Only those willing to carefully assess the cost and invest all they had in His kingdom were worthy to enter.  This speaks of something far more than mere abandonment of one’s material possessions; it is an absolute, unconditional surrender.  His disciples were permitted to retain no privileges and make no demands .  They were to safeguard no cherished sins; treasure no earthly possessions; and cling to no secret self-indulgences.  Their commitment to Him must be without reservation.”

Before a man builds a tower he sits down and calculates the cost.  The comparison that Jesus makes here is that before we follow Christ, we need to calculate and sit down and decide if we are going to complete this journey.  If we are going to go all the way and finishe the race and win.

When I think about the phrase, “his disciples were permitted to retain no privileges and make no demands,” I think of something I’ve sadly heard out of the mouths of women who profess themselves to be Christians, things like I just don’t think God wants this kind of marriage for me.  Or I don’t think God wants me to suffer in this way or I just don’t think God wants me to suffer like this any longer.  I can still be a Christian and be rich and that’s true.  There is a place for place for wealthy Christians all a Jesus said you’ll have hard time being a Christian if you’re rich.  Jesus says none of you can be my disciple who does not give up all his own possessions. it’s much easier to be a Christian when you are poor because then you have less earthly possessions to give up. It was easier for the beggar to be pleasing to God than for Lazarus the rich man. Because the beggar had less he had to sacrifice. The blessing of poverty is that there is less to have to give up! You have less you have to sacrifice.  Less you have to count loss.

We don’t retain the “privileges” that come with life outside of Christ.  Marriage can be hard and if your husband isn’t the man you wished he was, you don’t retain the “privilege” of divorce. You’ve counted that loss.  You’ve denied yourself that privilege when you decided to follow the God who says He hates divorce. And that is what counting the cost is—it’s recognizing in advance that you have surrendered your own rights and privileges and comforts.

WHAT IS THE COST?

When we had to move a few years ago, I had to put a large majority of my stuff into storage.  And I like my stuff—a lot! But on a couple occasions, when we were still getting back on our feet financially, there were a couple scares that made me think I was going to lose all my stuff in storage. And the thought of giving up all my stuff was horrible! So I certainly empathize with the difficulty of counting anything loss. If the thought of giving up stuff is hard, giving up privileges is just as hard, if not harder.

So I’m not saying that giving up your privileges, your demands, your possessions, and your self-indulgences is not hard. It’s a cost. It’s a sacrifice. That is why Jesus says count the cost. It’s a huge cost.

I have a friend who bought a home that she could just barely afford and for two years she spent almost all of her waking time working just to pay for that home.  That is the sacrifice she made for the home. It was costing her almost all her time.

Just like my friend whose home was costing her almost everything, so following Christ does cost us everything. It’s not free. Eternal life is a free gift.  But the price of following Christ is not free. It costs us everything. It’s not easy.

For her, it was a burden to keep her house. But when we follow Christ, we are sacrificing all our old junk—everything that is ultimately worthless—for what has true value. It may cost us everything, but so will following the world. The difference is that when we follow Christ, we’ve traded what has no meaning for what is valuable beyond compare.  All of our demands, all of our self-indulgences, all of our privileges, all those things we give up to follow Christ are worthless when compared to the eternal value of following Christ.

So what is the cost of following Christ? The cost is everything, everything, everything. But it's the only thing worth the cost.

When we had to move this most recent time I had to put most of my stuff into storage.  And there has been a couple scares that I thought I was going to lose all my stuff in storage and I really had to work through that because there are a lot of things in my storage that I’ve that I saved up for, things I really like and want.  And yet I have to remind myself that I have to tell myself that it’s not this life that counts.  It’s not those things in storage that matter and I’m not saying that giving up your privileges, your demands, your possessions,  your self-indulgences – I’m not saying it’s not hard! It’s a cost.  That is why Jesus says count the cost. it’s a cost. I have a friend who bought a home that she could just barely afford and she’s and for two years she spent almost all of her waking time working just to pay for that home.  That is the sacrifice she made for the home. It was costing her almost all her time. So when we follow Christ it’s a cost. It’s not free. We have a free gift of eternal life but the price of Following Christ is not free. It costs us everything. It’s not free it’s not easy it’s not cheap.  Just like my friend whose home was costing her almost everything, so following Christ does cost us everything.  For her, it was a burden to keep her house. But when we follow Christ, we are sacrificing all our old “kitchen table chairs”—everything that is ultimately worthless—for what has true value. It may cost us everything, but so will following the world. The difference is that when we follow Christ, we’ve traded what has no meaning for what is valuable beyond compare.  All of our demands, all of our self-indulgences, all of our our privileges, all those things we give up to follow Christ.

So what is the cost of following Christ? The cost is everything, everything, everything.

Questions No. one have you counted the cost of Following Christ?

#2 have you do you ever feel like demands that you’ve made of Christ’s the need to give up?

#3 Can you think of privileges or demands that people might not be willing to give up?  How are those privileges and demands keeping people from following Christ more wholeheartedly?

Reminding the reader that “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to be revealed to us” (Rom. 8:18), this chapter ends by refocusing our gaze on the pleasure, comfort, and glory to come.

Is my treasure in the place where I want my heart? "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Do I show a passion for Christ with the way I handle the money God allows us to have?

What things are you doing or can you do that will matter most at the end of your life? Loving God and loving people, really. I think that is all.

Praying for people. Speaking words of life to people based on their need—the gospel to the perishing, my testimony to the perishing, things that edify to my children, encouragement to my husband, etc.

Chapter 9 – Following Christ by Knowing How

We must know His Word—what He wants. We mentioned this earlier, but it is so crucial. We must know how Jesus wants us to live if we will follow Him well.

We always want the next best thing. The biggest ministry. The greatest calling. But God wants us to have contentment.

We must go to His Word. If I just use what I think  is best, I will go astray. Etc… catchy phrases.

Here is what His Word says about following Jesus as women…

I was upstairs making my kids’ beds, literally, just a few minutes ago. Now, the reason I was making my kids beds—because they usually do it themselves—is they are at VBS. So I gave them the week off on their chores, and now I’m doing the chores for them.  And while I was making their beds, I began to pray for their hearts, and then for the hearts of the other children who would be hearing the gospel. I prayed that many children at VBS would believe on Jesus today and be saved.

Then I started thinking of friends of mine who became Christians as children through outreach programs like VBS. And then I thought—and I know this sounds bad at first—“But what good are we all? What do we really do for Christ?” And I began thinking of an interview I watched on my computer a few days ago with Francis Chan. I love his commitment to Christ and his fervency to obey God. And after watching this interview, and thinking about my own life, I began to wonder what I can do more. I started to feel guilty. I’m only making beds, not living the radical way I think I want to live. And that’s when it hit me: I keep trying to copy the men! I keep trying to be a godly man! I’m looking at Paul and Silas and trying to be like them, out in the streets preaching the gospel. But all the J, I am a woman. And it was God who made me a woman.

Ever since I wanted to follow God completely and radically, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what my calling is as a woman. At first, I wouldn’t have thought to add the phrase as a woman, because I didn’t even realize I might have a different calling than the men I knew. I was 17 and naïve. In other words, when I would read the story of Paul and Silas preaching the gospel in public and then going to jail, I would try to imitate that life.

Eventually—and by eventually I mean I took a very long time—I started to realize that my clling by God might be different than the men I knew. But because I aboth am a woman and want to be “on fire” for Jesus, I’ve spent years trying to figure out what exactly that looks like.

When I study the godly women of the Bible—including Tabitha, Mary, Hannah, Sarah, Lydia—each of these women are famous for their distinctly feminine callings. Tabitha made clothes. Mary was the mother of Jesus. Hannah was the mother of Samuel. Sarah was the wife of Abraham. Lydia provided hospitality.

Each of these women did something uniquely feminine. And these are some of the examples Scripture gives of us godly women. Women who flourished as women, who loved God and served Him and His church and their families. That’s one of the reasons I absolutely love the poems of Ruth Bell Graham. Her husband was out preaching the gospel all over the world while she was home folding clothes. While he preached to crowds, she preached to her kids.

And I can relate to that. I have lots of laundry to do, and lots of opportunities to teach the Bible to my children. These women remind me that serving God through sewing, or through hospitality, or through being a loving wife, or raising your kids to love God, are as valid and precious as serving God through open air evangelism and persecution.

DISTINCTLY PRECIOUS

Our role as a woman is precious. God designed us at distinctly feminine for a beautiful purpose. Here, where the rubber meets the road, we will start by looking at the roles God has chosen for women and why being a woman is such a beautiful calling. God made me the joyful mother of children and the wife of one husband. This is my blessed role.  While looking at Mary and Martha compared to Peter, John, James, and Paul—we will see they had different roles and different assignments from Jesus. God did not give women the great measure of testosterone He gave men. He did not assign the women to war or to violence like the men. Even evangelism was different for the men. Here women will come to deeply appreciate the unique and precious role they have in serving God. Enjoy the blessing given to those who understand the position God has called us to and how He has equipped us for fulfilling it.

A SIMILAR CALLING

Since this is a book written for women, the Bible gives us some specific directions about how to follow Christ in real life. In many ways, the callings of men and women are the same. And in some ways, the callings are different. Most of the differences are just physical acts and roles. The similarities are in the heart. Here are some similarities:

Men and women are both called to love God with all their heart with all all their soul all their strength all their mind.

Men and women are both called to love their neighbors as theirselves.

Both need to honor God and not receive honor from man.

The heart of a man the heart of a woman both need to seek first the kingdom of of God and His righteousness.

Men and women both need to be the servant of all.

Both are called to give thanks in everything.

Both are called to sanctification and holiness.

Both must be saved by grace alone through faith alone.

And that is just the tip of the iceburg's tip! The callings of men and women both include a heart attitude of total devotion and obedience to God.

SIMILAR, BUT NOT THE SAME

Now what are the differences between the callings of Christian men and the callings of Christian women? There are some specific things that God tells men to do and some specific things that God calls women to do. Our role as a woman is precious. It’s a beautiful role God created for women--a distinct role only we can fill.

First, we know God created different roles for women and men simply by looking at our physical bodies. A woman's body is designed for pregnancy, giving birth, nursing, nurturing, and even carrying a baby on her hip. A man's body is usually taller than a woman's and is more suited to fighting, protecting, hard physical work, and similar things. Men are generally stronger. When I can't open the lid on the spaghetti sauce, my husband always can. But instead of studying the man's role, we want to learn more about the woman's role.

God gave the woman a precious calling in in His sight. In the Bible, our femininity as mothers is used to describe the ultimate gentleness and tenderness. Paul tells Timothy? he was so gentle among them, he was like a nursing mother cherishing her children. While the nursing mother is a picture of ultimate tenderness, the married woman is a picture of Christ's bride, the Church.

DISTINCT ROLES

Women are also assigned more responsibilities in the home, while men have more outside the home. Specifically, the Bible tells women to be the “managers” of their homes (Titus 2:5). And men are required to provide financially for their families (1 Timothy 5:8). This doesn't mean that men can't do housework and women can't be employed outside the home, but that the primary responsibility of keeping the house falls on the woman, and the primary responsibility of providing falls on the man.

When you read through the Bible, it's mostly men who evangelize, go to prison, and get beat up for the gospel's sake. And it's the women who host the church in their homes, provide hospitality, sew clothes, and serve food.

In the book of Acts, for example, the huge majority of the missionaries were men. All twelve of the apostles are men. And when the Bible gives us the story of someone boldly preaching the gospel to crowds of people, it's always men. But both men and women were being saved daily (Acts 5:14).

And while men were the primary evangelists, the stories of godly women are not neglected in Acts. Women are also praised for their godliness. What is fascinating, however, is that the godly deeds of the women are distinctly different than the actions of the men.

For instance, in Acts 9 we are introduced to Tabitha, a godly woman who “was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity which she continually did” (Acts 9:36). So was the godly act that Tabitha was praised for? It was sewing! The reason we learn about Tabitha is because she died, and Peter raised her back to life. But before Peter raised Tabitha from the dead, the widows came to him, “weeping and showing all the tunics and garments that Dorcas (Tabitha) used to make while she was with them” (Acts 9:39). It's just fascinating to me that this godly woman is not praised for her boldness in witnessing, her quiet times, or her incredible prayer life. She is praised for making clothes for others! She generously provided clothes for people during a time when clothes were both scarce and expensive. Her hard work and generosity earned her a place in the eternal Word of God.

Also, in Acts 16:14-15, a woman named Lydia is mentioned because of her hospitality. Lydia was a smart business woman who sold purple cloth, and she prevails upon Paul and Silas to stay at her house while they are in Philippi. She is mentioned again in Acts 16:40, as Paul and Silas stop by her house after release from prison, to say goodbye to both Lydia and the believers who were at her house.

Both Tabitha and Lydia were involved with giving to others. Tabitha gave the things away that she made, while Lydia sold her work and used the money to provide hospitality for others. Interestingly, the woman described in Proverbs 31 helps her family financially in a significant way, gives generously to other, and carefully watches over her home!  So “managing the home” doesn’t mean that we can’t provide money if we want to. We just can’t neglect keeping our houses running well in exchange for an outside job.

In other words, the Bible gives us freedom here. If we want to solely manage our homes, we haven’t sinned. And if we also want to bring in money or contribute to the lives of others outside our families, we still haven’t sinned. We all have different callings and different skills and we should use those according to the life we have and the circumstances we are in, without judging someone else with a different life or a different calling. And whatever calling we have, we remember there are certain responsibilities that each of us who love God must do, motivated from a heart of obedience.

DIFFERENT PRESSURES

I remember once going out to preach the gospel with a group of people led by a well-known evangelist. What surprised me most when we went out was this man's wife didn't come with us. Her children were grown, but it was her habit to stay at home when he went out witnessing. I was really shocked by that at the time, and couldn't understand how he could be married to such an “ungodly” woman.

But here's what even more shocking. Peter—the original evangelist who led 3,000 people to Christ in Acts 2—he also had a wife (1 Cor. 9:5). And not once does the Bible tell us that his wife came with him when he went out to preach the gospel either!

This doesn't mean that a wife can't do ministry with her husband, because Priscilla and Aquila—a husband and wife team— traveled together with Paul to Syria, where they spoke to Apollos privately, explaining the gospel to him more fully (Acts 18:18). But Priscilla is not remembered only for her conversation with Apollos, but also for her hospitality. In 1 Corinthians 16:19, we learn that Priscilla hosted the church meetings in her house.

Thus, from the combined Biblical examples of Peter’s wife, Priscilla, Lydia, Tabitha, Mary, and all the other women, it becomes clear that there is no Biblical requirement or precedent for the women to minister in the same way as the men. In other words, we see that women often have different roles than men. So, while almost every godly man in the New Testament goes out and preaches the gospel in public to people they don’t know, to crowds of people, the godly woman are more discrete, and often use their gifts of teaching and prophecy in relationships.

Now, this is not to say that women can’t be evangelists. Who led Timothy to Christ? Two women. Specifically, his mom and grandma. And we have to be evangelists to some degree. After all, we all talk to other people. And we usually talk most about what we love most. And when we are in love with God, it makes sense that we would talk about Him as much, if not more, than we talk about the other things we love. So, like Priscilla talked with Apollos, and like the women at the tomb told the apostles that Jesus was alive in Matthew 28, we are given a command and freedom to tell others about Jesus. What is removed from women is the pressure to do the public preaching and co-ed crowd evangelism.

Again, this doesn’t mean women can’t teach and preach in some circumstances. I absolutely love teaching the Bible to women, and I will be the last person to say that a woman's only role is to sew and cook and stay at home. My goal is only to show the examples Scripture gives us, and for us to notice the type of women that are praised in the Bible—women who abound in good works, who serve others with hospitality or clothing or whatever needs others have. And as far as teaching goes, older women are even given a command to teach younger women (Titus 2:3-4). So we know there is certainly a place to use every spiritual gift we are given.

WHAT ABOUT MINSTRY?

God also uses women in different capacities in New Testament than He uses the men. Jesus never explicitly instructs women to perform gospel preaching work like he instructs the men. He did not send out women in the 72. He doesn’t choose a woman for one of his 12 disciples. And He doesn’t send out a women for gospel ministry (fix wording) at any time in his ministry. He sends out men in every case. However, He does let women accompany him as disciples. (read commentaries on Luke 8:1-3)

But women serve Jesus in other capacities. (ref). Peter has a wife in the New Testament and (give names--Mary, Mary, Martha...) were close companions of Jesus. Their hospitality was crucial to the ministry of Jesus. (tell a story about this.)

We know women are allowed to pray and prophecy in the church from 1 Corintians 11: ?. And of course we can and should tell others about the great things God has done for us. (ref?) And we are called to share Christ (general commands given Matthew 28, etc) and to teach Christ. Across the sidewalk from me lives a single mom and her two kids. Since I have kids also, her kids sometimes come over to play. One of those times when just the younger boy was over, I was telling him all about how God's Son Jesus came to earth as a man and died on a cross. I told him about how Jesus died on a cross for our sins and rose from the dead so we could be forgiven. I thought I had done a good job of simplifying the gospel. But after about five minutes of me talking, I decided to ask him what God did for him. He looked at me and then blurted out, "I don't know what 'God' means." I realized I had to back it way up and start from the beginning. I told him, "God is the one who made you. He made the world and the trees and the water..."

In addition to telling others about the good news of salvation, older women are specifically instructed to teach younger women the things pertaining to life experience. God doesn’t want any of us to be busybodies (ref). So older women with life experience can help those who ar still learning how to keep their homes, be good and obedient to their husbands, (keep going, quote Titus 2). While women are forbidden to teach men (1 timothy ?), there is no prohibition of women teaching women. It is even encouraged in Titus 2. There are other similar such things where there is no encouragement or prohibition given in the Bible, and women and men who love God must use wisdom and discernment in those "grey" areas.

But we do know this, women need to love God with all their hearts, souls, strength, and minds. We show our love to God by obeying His commandments, even when they are hard or we don't understand why.

Let me tell you the stories about how a single woman, a married woman, and a mother are all serving Christ and bringing Him glory.

The Single Woman

Emily doesn't know if she will one day get married. But she is already devoted to her eternal husband and lives to serve him. When she found out about an orphanage in Uganda, Africa that could use workers, she began praying for God to show her whether to go. She talked with her pastor and told him her desire to serve the children in Africa. The door opened widely and all the funds became available for her to go. She bravely took a step of faith and moved to Africa.

There she holds children whose parents had died or abandoned them. She showed children love and became to them the arms of Christ. As she worked among the fatherless and motherless children, she demonstrated God's love to them in visible and powerful way. Every meal she served them, every hug she gave them, and every Bible story she told them have all brought God tremendous glory that we may not fully comprehend until we get to heaven. God used Emily's natural ability to nurture to touch the lives of more children than she could have every physically produced.

The Married Woman

My good friend Trisha has an exciting, flourishing ministry. She has a radio segment where she preaches the gospel to all sorts of different lost folks (www.fishwithtrish.com) But she though she has so much going for her, she is also married to a pastor. My pastor, actually.

Through her ministry, many people have heard about her husband Emilio's church. Her husband has been blessed by her zeal for God and her ministry. Often she has opportunities to travel all over the country, all expenses paid, for exciting adventures living for Christ. But sometimes she has to decline those offers.

As a wife, she understand she is called by God to be a keeper at home and the helper of her husband. She sometimes has to surrender those desires and honor her husband's ministry by staying with him. She helps her husband prepare better sermon's by giving feedback before he even preaches. God is glorified by her sacrifice, when she could be seeing the world and yet submits humbly to her husband and honors him by making time for him.

The Mother

Since I just finished telling you about my pastor's wife, for this one I'll tell you about my other pastor's wife, Christina. Christina has five kids, and she homeschools all the older ones. The fruit of her service to God is evident when her children open their mouths. She beautifully trains her children to fully understand the gospel, to fear God and to love Him and His ways. Her children know many Scriptures and are learning how to work diligently and be disciplined. She is a diligent woman who watches carefully over her children, serves her husband and encourages him, and manages her household well. She has found a way to be busy with important things.

WHAT WAS MY CALLING?

“Was God requiring me to preach the gospel to every person I saw, ‘to all creation’?”  This was the question that troubled me for several years. While I was a senior in high school, I really felt like I needed to be preaching the gospel to every person I saw. I put a lot of pressure on myself.

Some of the pressure was godly pressure and some of it was from my misconception of what exactly it was that I needed to be doing as a woman. Now, I’m not talking about preaching in a church setting, but simply walking up to an unbeliever and handing them a tract with a gospel message and asking them some questions, such as, “If you were to die today, do you think you would go to heaven or hell?” And then from there I would share with them the Ten Commandments and the how they can escape the wrath of God by believing on Jesus.

I wanted to show God my commitment to Him, that I would do whatever He asked. But was this something He was asking me to do? All Christians have received reconciliation to God and eternal life, so it makes sense that we would want to tell others about Jesus, whether we are men or women, because of how excited we are. But was I under an obligation to tell every unbeliever I could about the gospel? At that time, I was sure the answer was yes.

It took several years for me to realize that, although getting the message of salvation to the whole world is part of our aim as Christians, I have received a calling that fits my giftings, passions, and desires. So my part in getting the gospel to the whole world may include diligently training my children to love God, talking to my unsaved neighbor’s about Christ when God opens the door, and teaching women to love God more. I don’t have to frantically approach every unbeliever I see in the grocery store while my children run up and down the aisles and try to keep the unbelievers attention while my attention is half on my kids. Oh, it’s so freeing!!!

But this is what I realized: I was trying to live under the callings and passions of others.   For instance, one of the people I thought I needed to be like was a guy named Keith  He was one year younger than me, so he was a junior in high school, and his entire high-school knew about him.  He was the guy that preached the gospel so much they dedicated an entire page in the yearbook to him. He was such a light on his campus. Now he went to a different high school than mine and so I wanted to be at my high-school what he was at his high school.

But there was a reason why he was so successful at preaching the gospel to every person in his high school. It came so naturally to him. Yet I did it shaking and as nervous as can be, hating it as times because it wasn’t my role. I was trying to walk in the gifts of someone else. I was trying to walk in the passions and the desires of someone else.

When I really wanted was what I’m doing now, which is teaching my children to love God and teaching the Bible to women.

When I would think about the verse in Ezekiel 33:8-9, about the blood of the sinner being upon the head of the one who did not warn him of his sins, I would also think of what Paul said in the New Testament: “woe is unto me if I preach not the gospel” (ref). An Old Testament principle is repeated in the New Testament, so it must be true for me too, right?  I then misunderstood the principle of distinct roles and believed this pressure must be upon me and upon every Christian.

My heart was to obey God to the degree that I understood His Word. I was also blessed to have a friend to pray with me every morning for an hour or two before I left for high school.  I would try to get to her house in the fives. And I loved our prayer time. I felt so effective when I prayed. However, I dreaded having to pass out tracts at high school.

But when I read carefully through the Bible, I can clearly see the distinct callings of each person. Ezekiel and Isaiah had to forgo clothes for a time as part of their calling to God, while Daniel and Joseph served in high positions of secular leadership. When Jesus picked His twelve disciples, they were all men. And while women often did accompany Jesus and His disciples, the Bible tells us the women ministered to Jesus and the disciples while Jesus and the disciples ministered to the people. REF

When my eyes were finally open—when I realized that all Christians do not have identical callings and pressures—I was so liberated and free. I felt free to be a woman and do what I most enjoy and feel gifted at. Now there are some women who are very naturally inclined to share the gospel with everyone they meet. But in the same vein, some women also naturally want to go to convalescent homes and comfort the elderly while others want to be in charge of planning the upcoming church banquet. When a woman is using her spiritual gifts and acting according to her distinct calling, she feels so thankful to be allowed to serve in that capacity. But when a women is trying to live up to the calling and gifts of someone else, she feels forced into ministry or trapped beneath her duties, while her real gifts are being suffocated and ignored. But God calls each of us to our own path according to Word and according to his guidelines.

Being able to teach my kids the Bible each day, and train them in all sorts of skills I believe they will need in life, is supremely satisfying.

Chapter 10—Being Content right where you are

Serving God does not mean being seen. You don’t have to be seen to serve. You don’t have to be

In the book of acts, we learn about a woman named Dorcas who passionately served. She was a woman who gave us an example of what it means to serve. Now her great gift to the church was so important, so valued, that when she died all the windows  gathered around her and wept. They brought her body to Paul and begged for her to be brought back to life because she was so precious and valuable to them.

Now it seems like we would expect a woman who is that well-known throughout the church, that important, that precious would have a spectacular ministry. Maybe she was a famous worship leader at women's events. Or maybe she was so friendly and charismatic, hosting beautiful events in her home, which also happened to be the most beautiful and well decorated. Or maybe she was a Bible study author, writing books that changed lives. Or maybe she had gone to another country as a missionary, feeding the Poor and caring for orphans. This woman was so highly esteemed that Paul even brought her back to life. She was called a woman who was full of good works. She was obviously important. So what did she contribute? Drumroll please...

She sewed clothes. I can hear the oohs and the aahs. She was almost as famous as that other lady who washed dishes. She made garments for the people at her church. Something so simple, and yet it was so precious. I think that often many people have lost sight of what God values. We think that helping others with the small things is somehow less valuable then contributing something that makes us famous. Or makes us known as a godly woman. Or gives us the reputation of a...

I've struggled before with thinking of that my godly service must be exciting or attention getting or crowd drawing or world changing to really please God. And in thinking that, I've missed ...

Serving God may mean a humble service which simply blesses others, like providing clothing. In Dorcas' time, clothing was scarce. Every garment she sewed and gave away was a significant gift. She spent her time in ways that help and bless others. She used her life to make the lives of others easier, to bless them and help relieve their burdens.

Growing up, my mom taught me how to sew. When I became an adult, I thought that sewing would somehow make me a better wife, so I took a sewing class in college. I even showed some of my bridesmaids dresses. Then when we got married, I bought a sewing machine, still thinking I would be a sewer. It's been about 15 years since then. I think I've used it less times then the fingers on my hand. So it has not been my passion or something I really like. Having to find out exact measurements and follow pattern and keep a straight line is actually quite boring to me. And I found the clothing is actually cheaper to buy already made then to buy the material and the thread and the pattern and everything else to make it myself.

The Bible says that every believer is part of the body of Christ. Some people may be the eyes, some may be part of the elbow, and some of us may be the kneecap. In other words, everybody will contribute something unique as a Christian. We are not all the same and we will all contribute the same things.

But we so often we might long for the the ministry that is most exalted and want to be that part of the body that is most recognized and most appreciated. We are not content to be the kneecap, but we look at those people that get to be the mouth or the hands and feel like they are doing more to please Jesus. I think sometimes it's not even a desire to be seen by people, but we feel that we are failing God when others don't recognize us as godly or...

I know that God gives us things that were passion about and he does not my passion is learning I love to learn.  I love to read and to just know more things and even when I was in high school on my owns just get books on whatever I was interested in and nonfiction books and chemistry or strange things but I just had, I’ve always had a passion to know things and your Dorcas she was a woman is a gifted and passionate about sewing each of us has a different gift for the body and so when we look at jobs like that’s the bad jobs and those are the good jobs there people who genuinely enjoy planning women’s retreat they love to do the details and administrate I hated administration is not my gift is not my passion and I would see that as the bad jobs I’ll of no desire to lead worship but I like to sing but I wouldn’t want to lead worship and yet there’s some people who think that the greatest gift you could ever have different people and the body have different gifts and so there’s no good jobs and bad jobs theres just different different gifts to different parts of to the body.  The eye is gifted with seeing and that he and is gifted with feeling and the ear is gifted with hearing.  Now if you make the ear do the seeing job technically speaking the theoretically speaking in the body the ear would ear wouldn’t enjoy the seeing job so much because the ears not gifted to see.  The ear is gifted to hear.  In the body of Christ God has given each of the members a different gift a different calling of and so as members in the body the best place for you to be is a place where you can use your gift.  But of course this times where there’s other things they’re needed there’s times when a person whose gifted with worship may be needed to administrate she may be needed to help decorate or needed to help set up and there may be be times when a person is gifted with decorating and just knows how to make those Christmas dinners for the women’s ministry beautiful she may be needed to help plan the itinerary and that may not be be something she enjoys or her gift but there’s different things that needed at different times to help lift the burden off of others and the you know your gift if you want to know you’re gift the quickest way I believe to know what your gift is to just think about what you love what you love what is the part of the body where the place in your church that you would most love to be? Where would you most love to be serving? that’s probably your gift.  Usually we love to do or what we are gifted think Oh I would love love to help plan the women’s retreats I would love to be the one who you call all the women I love to assign the job women do with and that’s your gift You have some sort of gift of gift and administration each woman has a different gift given to them by God so that they can all help now and your gifts are needed by the body there important to the body.  You have have a different gift than anyone else in the body so share your gifts use your gifts serve the body with the gifts you’ve been been given so that the body can be blessed and the body can grow if the eye eye decided that it didn’t want to share it’s gift of seeing anymore the whole body the whole body would be affected the whole body would Miss out on seeing and everything else in the body it would have to work harder and compensate for the job that the eye wasn’t willing to do in the body we all have gifts and the body needs you to share your gift with it and times and there will be times times when you serve and it’s not your gift or your passion and there’s things that we do like giving rides to people most people don’t really like to give rides to yet most of the us who have a car some time and or another will find that God calls us to give rides and that the chance to use a different gift maybe your gift is the gift of prophecy which would be the gift of speaking edification and comfort maybe your gift is to speak in people’s lives so God call you to give rides because he wants to use your gift of prophecy to speak into the lives of people that you have in your car maybe God wants you to help clean up before after church There’s different reasons that God has us do different things but be willing to serve and be willing to give your physical energy into doing whatever it is that God calls you to do.

X3 How can we be women who who serve? How can we be women be women who serve unselfishly and willingly how wcan we be women be women who look forward to serving and love to serve No. 1 by being by caring about others by wanting to see others blessed and we want to see others blessed we want to find out what we can do to bless others what we can do that others have their burdens lifted like Dorcas Dorcas was a woman who saw that others would have their burdens lifted by the clothing that she gave them.  It would lift their burdens off when they have that clothing she was able to blessed others when we consider the needs of others and what we can do to meet those needs that one way to unselfishly serving others a second way would be to do what we love as much as possible use your gifts and do what you love now, there’s things that we love of our flesh and there’s things that we love of our spirit when your feed your spirit with the Word of God through prayer and you’re looking out to the needs of others and your seeing what other people need you can match those needs with what you are passionate about. if you’re passionate about that decorating and you know that there’s women in the church who maybe would love to decorate their houses but the don’t have the money to do it and they don’t know where to start you could use your gifts to help those women and bless them and take their burdens or if you’re a woman who’s good at and you know there’s women who maybe have a problem keeping the house clean you could go help them organize and get their house in order and lift their burden with your gifts.  A third way to serve others is to do it with a heart that wants to please Christ this is especially crucial when you’re asked to serve or you have to serve in a capacity the you’re not gifted and or that you don’t enjoy when your put upon to serve for instance if you’re asked to give rides on a regular basis to someone who maybe doesn’t take the initiative to drive it could be wearisome to you or it could be tiring or maybe you’re asked to do it always have to end up staying late after church and cleaning up the child’s ministry because nobody else does it everybody leaves burdens put on you and it’s not something you enjoy it’s not something you want and it’s not something something that you really have a passion for but yet your being put in a position where that where God has you serve and when you focus on pleasing Christ and when you focus on doing that for the glory of God knowing that God is not glorified by what man’s sees God is glorified by what he sees and you’re doing it cause God sees it and God would be glorified by seeing your heart willing to serve him with a please Him and that can help you to serve Him unselfishly regardless of what you’re having to do to serve Him and a fourth reason would be not to serve for false motives we can very easily get caught up in wanting to serve to please others or wanting to serve to be admired or recognized by others for the great and wonderful gifts that we have. we talked about last chapter following Christ by seeking his admiration that we need to have goals and actions that glorify God and not us and so in the same way we can serve to glorify God or we can serve for false motives promotion, for favor in the eyes the leadership to get praised and recognized for your special abilities and talents maybe you and sometimes people serve because they want the pastor’s wife to give them special favor they want to be friends with the popular people in church the want to be in they want to be invited to every cool event all sorts of motives that a person could wrongly serve for and so when you want to be serving passionately and unselfishly then you have to not have false motives motives have to be truly just that God be glorified the God of the honors the blessing of service God alone when you served with a heart motive God alone sees the motive of your heart and in your heart and it’s very satisfying to serve when God alone sees.  I remember one day, it was a VBS and I was outside in front of the church and all the kids and gone inside but there were popsicle wrappers they got left all over the parking lot and so I was asked if I could please cleanup The Popsicle wrappers and and put them all in the trash clean up the popsicles stains spills could take care of the whole general mess that had been left by the kids and so I did and I so blessed to be serving because I knew in that nobody saw for some reason is in knowing that only God was give me glory that only God knew really cared that I was to know only God knew how hard I was working and is that special relationship with God and you have that special relationship with God when your following him heart is giving over to him experience the joy of knowing I experience that joy of knowing that God saw my service and God saw my heart

practical application

Ways to conserve others we can serve our children by spending time with them playing games with them making food teaching then how to do things for themselves what teaching them how to make food teaching them the do their own laundry teaching them that in how to clean the house for you heard teaching them how to be servants of all begin serve the child’s ministry at our church by to voluntary to work with the babies of the students teaching them preparing crafts  children’s ministry at church your have a gift of teaching and you may love to teach children I love I know that my love is teaching and I love to teach children at the church is especially because there is so much fruit when we teach children and the kingdom of heaven belongs belongs to such as these and so you really might not ever know how many souls enter heaven because of your labor and your fruit with children.  You can serve your husband you and we should and must serve our children and our husband husband we can serve our church we can serve those who can’t help themselves this is especially needful the Proverbs 31 woman is known for reaching our her hand to the poor and the needy she’s known for giving of yourself to those who can’t repay her and Jesus told us to give yourself to those and we can serve those who can’t help themselves and this really requires all lot of work not only to help those who can’t help themselves with the find the needs and find the people who have need and and find out what they need and how it you can best help them and that may even be half of the work is just finding out who to help but once God put somebody in your life that you know you could help being faithful to help them the capacity that you can with the ability or the resources that you have

we can help younger believers younger women who may not have a full grasp on what it means to follow Christ even help them be more devoted to Christ we can help them with practical things or with spiritual things we can listen to them we can help them to know how to love their husbands to love their children we can help them learn how to keep organized home the we can help like the Proverbs 31 the sick any we can help the sick prayer and especially for all people help the sick by I remember when I I was sick a few months ago and I was so blessed by the saints that helped me the ones who brought me me chickens soup and a just a different things that people did for me that there were so helpful especially because my husband was a couple states states away he was out in California and and he couldn’t help me and I couldn’t get out of bed I was here with three kids and so I was so blessed to have saints who were willing to come in and a son of seven and a half year old son who helped me all day did so many things for me too and served me and the needy those who are financially or emotionally in need those were distressed and need comfort many who need just the basic things of life is always that we can serve others The End .

A chapter could possibly begin with

“he created me with such care and precision and that in His time, the perfect time, He will provide for me an opportunity to glorify Him with the talents and gifts that he has so uniquely chosen just for me.” From internet

“I truly am excited for the open doors that God brings for my friends. I don't necessarily think that it means that there are less opportunities for me. I think that I just want to know that God has not forgotten me and that He will bring open doors for me in His timing and for His glory. I think, for me, their opportunities and my lack of opportunities make me feel inadequate and stuck.” From internet

“The tears didn’t come from my eyes. They didn’t come from my heart. They came from my soul that was always slightly suspicious that God really didn’t have any sort of spectacular plan when He created me.” Lysa

“Oh how I wish I could go sit with myself on that day from the vantage point of this day. I would hand myself a tissue and state that this was not at all a rejection from God. It was a timing issue. Sometimes callings from God unfold in a miraculous instant. But more often callings happen within a million slow moments of revelation and maturation.” Lysa

Neither is there any mention of Galatians 6:10, "So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." While this verse does not teach that Christians shouldn't help unbelievers, it does say that there should in some sense be a priority toward our fellow Christians.” Amazon review

“Lastly, there is no mention of verses like 1 Thessalonians 4:11, which tell us to "aspire to live quietly, work with your own hands, and tend to your own affairs" (cf. 1 Tim. 2:5). In short, the call here is to live modest and unpretentious lives, work with excellence at our chosen vocations, and tend diligently to our own affairs. Further, it reminds us that rather than doing "something big" for God, Christian growth more typically takes place while doing the same mundane things over and over again: going to church to partake of the means that God has provided for growth, disciplining children-often on the same issue many times over, and working at your job to provide for your family.” Amazon review

Often we have ideas for how we would like to spend our time. But when our ideas do not match what actually happens, how do we react? Are we willing to follow Christ even when a sacrifice of time or effort is required? Chapter twelve addresses how we need to surrender our time for whatever God calls us to spend our time doing. This is what pleases God, and it is the way He calls us to serve Him.

Chapter 11—Talk to Him as You Follow Him

When I was in third grade, I attended a school assembly. I was seated with my class toward the very back of this huge outdoor theater. I was so far away from the stage that I could barely see what was going on. It was hot and I wasn’t paying much attention.

All of a sudden I heard my name announced from the stage! That was the last thing I had expected. I looked toward my teacher for an explanation. With excitement, she told me I was one of the winners of the school’s reading contest. I thought the reading contest was just a simple classroom challenge. I had no idea this was a school wide contest so important that an entire assembly would be called!

I walked to the stage hesitantly, almost thinking this was a mistake. I was surprised as I could be. Yet I was excited to be receiving a prize. I think when we enter eternity, like that day, there will be lots of surprises.

I've heard it said that we will be surprised by who we see in heaven. I doubt that. The Bible says we need to let our lights shine brightly before men (Matthew 5:16). Jesus says that if we are ashamed of Him, He'll be ashamed of us (Mark 8:38). I believe God when He says the road is narrow. I'm not expecting lots of "secret saints" who lived like the world and made it to heaven.

What I am expecting though, is that we might be surprised by how many rewards some people get. For instance, I have a friend named Ellen who is a great prayer warrior. I've had times when my husband will tell me, "I've really been focused on the Lord today. Someone must be praying for me." And then the next day I'll see Ellen and she'll say, "I was praying for you guys yesterday." She's not a famous evangelist or musician, yet I won't be surprised if she gets more rewards than many of them.

After all, God says that when we pray secretly, God will reward us openly (Matt. 6:6). I first experienced God’s grace in my prayer life when I was quite young. My mom and I were going to the Brea Mall on what she said was the most crowed day of the year. As we drove through the parking lots, my mom said something about how impossible it would be to find a parking spot.

Something began to move in my heart and I turned my face toward the door, hiding it in the seatbelt. For whatever reason, I didn’t want my mom to know what I was about to do. With childlike faith, I prayed that God would give my mom a parking spot. Before I finished praying, while my eyes were still closed, I heard my mom gasp. I quickly looked up as she pulled into a spot only feet from the Nordstrom front door. All my life I have remembered God’s quick and precise answer to my prayer.

Many years have passed since that day, and I have prayed many prayers. Each answered prayer has made God’s faithfulness even dearer to me. I have seen God work miracles through prayer.

PRAYER’S POWER

We have a great tool from God that will cause us to have great power and accomplish much, if we will only use it. This mighty weapon is a priceless gift from God. By our prayers, God allows us to play a part in changing the world. We can’t grow ourselves even an inch taller by worrying, but we can transform entire lives through prayer!

The Bible says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 NIV). Somehow, God allows us to move His hand through persistent and fervent prayer. What great power He allows us to partake of! And so often we miss this great gift because we are busy with other things. It’s easier for me to check my email for an hour than to spend an hour laboring in prayer for the needs of the people who send me emails.

When I don’t make prayer a priority, it can be easily pushed out. But there will always be a new recipe to try, a subject to research, and—in my case, with younger children—a mess to clean up. I’ve heard it said by others, but the words are completely foreign to me, something like, “I’m bored. I don’t have anything to do right now.” I don’t even know what that means! I always have plenty to do.

But I know that prayer is where I will effectively accomplish more than with most other pursuits. I like how John Piper explains that we ought to make prayer a great priority in our lives:

I hope you will read about prayer. I hope you will think about prayer. I hope you will pray about prayer. And I hope you will plan about prayer. So many best things are squeezed out by merely good things because we don't plan a time and a way to do them. So read and think and pray and plan – and then pray this year as you never have before. Pick a prayer meeting and make it a priority. Pick a private place and make it as sacredly sure as your favorite meal.1

One of my favorite “meals” is a box of a Scotch Kisses from See's Candies. Whenever I’m blessed with being able to have a box of them, I both guard and savor my time with that box! A few days ago a friend of mine gave me a gift certificate for this candy store, and I promptly went and redeemed it. As I sit here typing, that box is right next to me. And all day long, each day until the box is gone, I look forward to this time. I want to make myself available to God to do with my time and my schedule as He pleases, but as much as I’m able, this time is “sacredly sure”.

Do you realize how much you could accomplish if you made your prayer time “sacredly sure”? Think about what would happen in your life if you diligently set aside time everyday for heart-felt, God-honoring, determined and passionate prayer? I’ve seen what great things God has done in my own life through prayer. Miracles and revivals have come through prayer.

If you will give yourself diligently to prayer, God can bring peace to areas  where there is division. He can revive a struggling marriage of someone you know. He can draw a child to God who is making horrible choices and living foolishly. He can heal a broken relationship and mend an uncomfortable situation. In the areas of my life where I’ve prayed most diligently over the years, those are the areas where I’ve seen the most fruit.

Do you trust that God will answer your prayers? Do you believe that you will have a greater chance of having your prayer answered if you keep on asking? Read what Jesus said about the importance of our persistence in prayer, if we don’t give up or grow weary. The disciples had just asked Jesus how they should pray, and after teaching them the model for prayer, He continued by saying:

Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. (Luke 11:5-10)

The decision to be a woman of prayer and a woman that knows God through His Word—is yours. If you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. If you will keep on asking, keep on seeking, and keep on knocking, God promises that you will receive, find, and the door will be opened. So how serious are you about following your God? How much effort are you willing to give to be a woman of persistent, powerful prayer? I pray that God will grip your heart with the importance of prayer and enable you to experience a faithful, consistent prayer life by His grace.

GOD’S MIGHTY HAND REVEALED THROUGH PRAYER

During the years I was blessed to attend The Rock Community Church in Yorba Linda, California, I went weekly to Women’s Bible Study led by an older woman named Velma. She was a woman of prayer, waking up early each morning to pray over the woman in her Bible study and each of their prayer requests. Her co-leader, Virginia, was also both faithful and fervent in prayer. I had complete confidence that if I asked Velma and Virginia to pray for something, not only would they pray it, but I would see it come to pass!

Once, when a new woman began coming to the study, she vulnerably revealed to the class that her marriage was in horrible condition—with daily arguments and worse. The week after sharing this prayer request, the woman returned to say, “Thank you for praying for my marriage this week. My husband and I didn’t argue one time.”

When my husband decided he wanted to go on a month long cleanse, where he would eat primarily raw fruits and vegetables, I kept asking for the women to pray for my husband’s self-control and discipline to keep it up. Although I sometimes doubted that he would last, through God’s grace by prayer, my husband (for the most part) kept it up for 27 days.

Whenever I had a speaking engagement, I would again ask for prayer, and I could feel those prayers covering me each time I spoke.

There are numerous historical stories of revivals in towns and even countries following times of urgent, fervent prayer. Prayer mingled with faith has always been the necessary tool used by those who accomplish great things.

PERSONAL PRAYER

While I do pray often, so many times I have forgotten God's faithful answers to my prayers, and even that I made the request at all. While a few key instances stand out in my memory, so many of God’s great works in my life have been forgotten because I just didn’t write them down. And yet, so many other memories are safety tucked away in journals that I have written throughout the years.

Every once in a while I will read through those journals and prayers and my jaw will drop in awe of how God worked in each situation that so burdened me at the time. I can look back at things I prayed years ago and understand now what God was doing in my life then.

SUBTITLE

Many people do not understand how powerful and effective prayer is, especially prayer and fasting. And so, because people do not realize how powerful prayer is, they don’t pray like they should. And they miss out on the life-changing, circumstance-altering power of prayer.

My first experience of God answering prayer happened before I even reached ten years old. My mom and I were going to the Brea Mall on what she said was the most crowed day of the year. As we drove through the parking lots, my mom said something about how impossible it would be to find a parking lot.  For whatever reason, I didn’t want my mom to know what I was about to do. With childlike faith, I prayed that God would give my mom a parking spot. Before I finished praying or opened my eyes, I heard my mom gasp.

Many years have passed since that day, and I have prayed many prayers. God’s faithfulness is more dear to me now than it was on that day. I have seen God work miracles through prayer.

God has preserved our family through times of scarcity and hardship, and He has blessed our family in the times He determined.

Keeping a prayer journal to not forget God’s faithfulness.

During the years I was blessed to attend The Rock Community Church in Yorba Linda, CA, I went weekly to Women’s Bible Study led by an older woman named Velma.

vunerably revealed to the class that her marriage was in horrible condition—with daily arguments and worse. The week after sharing this prayer request, the woman returned to say, “Thank you for praying for my marriage this week. My husband and I didn’t argue even one time.”

Although I sometimes doubted that he would last, through God’s grace by prayer, my husband kept it up for 27 days.

FASTING AND PRAYER

Another time I’ve seen God do mighty things has been as a result of fasting and prayer. I don’t believe there is any more powerful force in the universe than God’s power released as a result of our faith-filled, fervent, humble, prayers and fasting.

One multiple occasions I have fasted and prayed for my husband’s job. This came as a lesson after many years of not fasting and praying specifically for my husband and his work. I learned the hard way how important it is to be faithful in fasting for areas of life where trials seem to hit most often.

After fasting for most of the day for my husband to be protected as his job, to have job security, to be an A+ employee, and similar requests, the very next day my husband came home with terrific news. He had been given a raise! His boss said it was one of the biggest percentage raises he had ever given. This had immediately followed a day of prayer and fasting specifically for his job. I had no doubt that God blessed us because He keeps His Word, which says, “Ask and you shall receive.” (ref.)

There are numberous historical stories of revivals in towns and even countries following times of urgent, fervent prayer.

Chapter 12—Following Jesus can be hard

I set my little daughter on the changing table. She was wrapped in a towel and her hair was sopping wet. After equipping her with a diaper, I reached down to open the drawer that held her clothes. The brown wood-laminate changing table had a space for diapers and then two drawers directly underneath.

The bottom drawer had broken, so my husband had set the broken drawer on the floor away from the dresser the previous night. As I pulled out the remaining drawer to get out some clothes for my daughter, it came crashing down on my leg. Without the bottom drawer, the top drawer wasn’t supported enough to be stable—something that would have been nice to have thought about before I opened the drawer.

The pain was intense. The wooden end of the drawer hit the front of my shin boneI’ve given birth to children, and I can still say with all sincerity that this accident hurt severely. I grabbed my daughter, set her safely and quickly down, and then fell to the floor where I could writhe in pain. I lied there thinking, It’s easy to forget how bad pain hurts when I’m not in pain.

I thought of Job—how he praised God, not only when he had lost everything, but when even his physical body was being overwhelmed with agonizing boils. I rolled over onto my face and stretched out my arms in praise to God, deciding it would be a good time to practice being thankful in suffering.

I then thought of Jesus, who also, like Job, suffered both with physical pain and emotional heartbreak. Neither Job nor Jesus suffered because of their own sin, but because their suffering was part of God’s plan. God’s plan for us may also include suffering.

As we’ve talked about three parts of the goal of following Christ, we've covered the rewards God has in store for us for following Him and how He wants us to long to know Him more, and the power He gives us to live righteously. But something else is needed in our pursuit of following Jesus, which is being able to relate to His sufferings through our own experiences. This life is our only opportunity to suffer, the only chance we get to understand from experience just how much our Savior suffered for us. It’s those times in life, when we are lying on the floor, suffering physically or broken hearted over emotional pain, that we have the opportunity to know Christ in His suffering.

WILLING TO SUFFER

Paul explained that his life's pursuit was to know Christ, notice how he included suffering as one of his goals:

“More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:8a, 10-11).

The reason Paul counted everything else as loss was to experientially know the following things: 1. To know Christ; 2. To know the power of Christ's resurrection; 3. To know Christ's sufferings; 4. To attain eternal life.

In this chapter I want us to think reflect on what it means to know the suffering of Christ. For Paul, he suffered most emotionally and physically. The scars left on his body from physical persecution caused him to write, “I bear on my body the marks of Jesus” (Gal. 6:17). Paul traveled throughout the Roman Empire, preaching the good news about salvation through Jesus Christ. He obeyed God and faithfully shared about eternal life with both Jews and Gentiles. But many Jews in different places became very angry with Paul for teaching things against their customs.

We can suppose that if Paul had not been willing to obey God and preach the gospel, his horrific sufferings could have been avoided. But Paul desired so deeply that he might “know…the fellowship of [Christ’s] sufferings” that persecution was no obstacle in his obedience to God. Consider the following afflictions that Paul suffered as a result of teaching people about Jesus:

1        Five times he was whipped with thirty-nine lashes.

2        Three times he was beaten with rods.

3        One time he was stoned.

4        Three times he was shipwrecked.

5        He spent a whole day and night in the ocean.

6        He was often put in jail.

7        He was beaten countless times.

8        He was near death on many occasions.

9        He frequently lived with great pain and weariness.

10      He faced angry mobs.

11      He had many sleepless nights.

12      He fasted often, and many times it wasn't by choice.

13      He experienced the embarrassment of having his clothes ripped off of him publicly.

14      He bore the harshness of cold weather.

15      He was pressured daily with his own concern for the churches.

16      He was dishonored.

17      He was slandered.

18      He was treated as an imposter.

Yes beloved, Paul knew Jesus through suffering! Though Paul endured many hardships (2 Cor. 6:5,8; 2 Cor. 11:23-28), they did not deter him from counting all things loss. Some of you who read this will be blessed to live in a country that protects you from suffering in the way Paul suffered. But every one of us will experience hard times in life. Like Paul, some of us may be slandered. Others will experience poverty. You may have great physical pain. Or be pressured daily with concern for someone in your life.

Life comes with trials. That's why Peter tells us not to be surprised when they come. "Do not be surprised at the fiery trial that is to try you..." ref. God has several necessary purposes in our suffering. Here are three of them:

1. That we may know Christ in his suffering. Before Jesus died on the cross, He knew what was coming. He wasn't suprised by the betrayal of Judas or the mocking, whippings, or accusations. He knew that intense suffering and death on a cross was part of the will of God His Father. Yet even so, Jesus still prayed, "If it be possible, let this cup pass from me. ref" If there was anyway to avoid the pain, He wanted it!

Recently, in the midst of a trial that felt like fire, I was praying and thinking about how I felt like I was in a long square tunnel. My picture was sort of like what you might see in a movie, with a tunnel and traintracks going through a mountain. I felt like I was in a similar tunnel, except it was square and white. On one side of me was a square block pushing me deeping into the tunnel, while the other side of the tunnel kept getting smaller and smaller. I felt like I was at the point in the tunnel where I could no longer fit, and yet I was getting pushed even deeper in. My heart cried out to the Lord.

Immediately my heart was filled with the thought of Jesus, there in the garden, pushed into a much smaller, much more difficult trial than I can yet understand. And He too asked for a way out, but there was no way out for Him. It was the will of God for Jesus my Savior to suffer to the point of death. When He prayed, "let this cup pass from me" (Let this there be another way), He then said, "Not my will, but yours be done." ref. And then He humbled Himself to the point of death.

When we suffer, we can better understand and appreciate intense suffering Jesus endured on our behalf. When something painful happens, the greater the pain, the more I can know what the pain Christ endured? When you fellowship with someone, you spend time with them and get to know them. When you fellowship with Christ's sufferings, you are spending time in suffering and getting to know what suffering is like. But to fellowship with the suffering of Jesus is to remember what a privilege it is to suffer, so that you might have a greater personal understanding of what Christ endured for you. (make easier to understand?)

2. That we would be sanctified by our trials. (ref.--where does the Bible say trials are for sanctification) "This is the will of God, even your sanctification." ref. Our holiness is on God's agenda. Your holiness is God's will for your life. And that's because God loves you. The Bible says that God disciplines us (allows hard times to come) for our sake—so when my husband lost his job last December, we would be able to share in His holiness: “FOR THOSE WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE DISCIPLINES...He disciplines us went for our good, so that we may share His holiness” (Hebrews 6a, 10b).

One of the hardest trials of my life so far was a financial trial—over 4 months without any income. During the trial, so much was happening so fast that I could barely even think straight. But,    after another. It was heartbreaking. Life is very different when you don't have money. You can't just hop in the car and drive to church. Where's the money for gas coming from? You can't just open the fridge and feed your children lunch. Without money, or some other provision, you can't buy food. Without money, the little things we can take for granted just aren't there. Things like shampoo or filtered water. There wasn't always enough food. We had to move in a hurry. We didn't always have gas to go to church. Yet God provided for us and sustained us and we didn't die of starvation. But those kinds of trials, or others that are even more painful, are part of God's plan for making us partakers of His holiness. (ref)

3. That we will long more anxiously for heaven. "that when His glory is revealed, you also will rejoice..." (1 peter ref) Do you remember a time in life when you really longed for heaven? I remember a time many years ago. I was sitting with a group of people out in nature. It would have been a wonderful day, except as I sat there, I felt really alone. I wasn't married yet. I didn't have any children. My closest friends weren't there. And I just wanted to be with Jesus. I was comforted as I thought of heaven. The earthly lonliness I felt stirred up my heart with longing to be with my Savior whom I love. I wanted to be with Jesus. I know that in heaven I'll be with my Savior, and I'll never be lonely. I'll be satisfied when I awake with His likeness (ref.) When life is painful, I long for the times when pain and suffering will be no more. (ref). The more comfortable am I, the less likely I am to want life to change. But when things are uncomfortable, my focus shifts to heaven and I can't wait to be there with my Savior.

Paul talked about the longing for heaven in the midst of suffering saying, “we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed......knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you...For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison” (2 Corinthians 4:8a, 14, 17).

Part of me says, "No more suffering. It's too hard. Too painful. Some other way, please Lord. Let this cup pass from me." But oh—the other part of me longs to know Christ more in His sufferings—and have the eternal glory of bearing in my own body the marks of my Lord Jesus! (ref) Sometimes I pray that I’ll live a long, full life—and then die as a martyr. Death is usually painful anyway, so I might as well go out in glory.

THE HONOR OF BEING COUNTED WORTHY

In Acts 5, the story is told about when Peter and the apostles were arrested by the High Priest and the Sadducees and put in the public prison. Blamed for no real crimes, they were imprisoned for healing the sick and because believers were being brought to the Lord. But only hours after they were arrested, during the middle of the night, an angel came to the prison, opened the prison doors and let them out! The angel gave them the following instruction, “Go and stand in the temple and speak to the people all the words of this Life” (Acts 5:20). Without hesitating to obey, they entered the temple at daybreak and began to again teach about Jesus.

Realizing that the apostles were no longer in prison, the chief priests and the captain of the temple were greatly perplexed. After someone came and told them that the apostles were once again in the temple teaching about Jesus, they went and peacefully brought the apostles before the council. The high priest accused them, saying, “We strictly charged you not to teach in this name, yet here you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching, and you intend to bring this man's blood upon us” Acts 5:28. At that point, Peter began to preach the gospel to all who were listening. The council became so angry that they considered killing the apostles, but after some discussion they chose to instead have them beaten up. After the flogging, the apostles were commanded to not speak in the name of Jesus any more.

What seems like the most likely thing the beaten and flogged apostles might do next? Complain possibly? Find a lawyer and sue? Argue on the way home over whose fault it was? Grow bitter and decide to never talk about Jesus again? Blame God for the great pain they had to experience? Decide to be more politically correct? Take some truth out of the message, making it less offensive? Accuse God of not loving them because He didn’t prevent the beating when He could have?

What would your reaction have been? Read what the apostles did: “Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name” Acts 5:41. They rejoiced in their suffering!

GETTING PRACTICAL

How can you be a woman who is willing to fellowship in Christ’s sufferings? How can we know Christ more even when things are difficult? Though we will experience painful times in life, we can know Christ more deeply through those times.  Fellowshipping with Jesus in His sufferings as we undergo difficult trials is the only way to experience true joy in every hardship. Through adversity we can learn that God is for us and that He is always working all things in our lives together for good. Here are some ways we can be sure that suffering only increases our pursuit of Christ.

Be willing to talk about Jesus—After the apostles were beaten for telling others about Jesus, they still continued to talk about Him. “And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ” (vs. 42). The apostles kept teaching about Jesus even when people got upset, offended, and angry.

One important thing to notice from this story is that the apostles weren’t teaching those who didn’t wanted to hear, but those who hadn’t heard and those who wanted to hear. They sought out those who wanted to hear the truth. They spoke about Jesus publicly and openly even when they knew it could very possibly lead to more beatings.

Depending on where you live, physical beatings for speaking about Christ might be a very real threat. Use wisdom, but don’t let fear silence you. Jesus instructs us to fear God alone: “Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). Be undeterred by the reactions of nonbelievers.

The apostles also continued to talk about Jesus from house to house. When they were with the other believers, they focused their conversations on Christ. In a trial, think and talk about what God is teaching you and the great things God is doing in your heart. We are often more "raw" when we are hurting. It's easier to blurt out what we're thinking when we are in pain. But if you are talking about Jesus and seeking to glorify Him, you will not only encourage others but edify your own spirit as well.

Don’t waiver in your commitment to Christ—Be determined that nothing will ever stop you from following Christ. These are the things I’ve done that have kept me seeking God even when things have gotten really difficult:

1. I hid God’s word in my heart—I became familiar with a great volume of Scripture by reading the Bible daily, meditating on it throughout the day, putting up verses on my walls, studying specific passages of the Bible, and clinging to God’s Word because I know it is MY LIFE!
2. I meditate on His Word and apply the Bible to every situation. It always gives me insight and wisdom with which to view the situation at hand.
3. I just know there is no other life worth living. Sin destroys lives. My conscience testifies to the truth of God. I know there is no better path. My heart agrees with Peter who said, “to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” ref
4. If I stopped seeking God, where would I go? There is no life, no true joy, no satisfaction or wholeness apart from following Jesus. I know this is true. My heart testifies to that.
5. I quickly begin to struggle with depression, lack of motivation, and guilt when my pursuit of God declines.
6. I’ve seen what waivering has done to other people who once appeared to follow Christ, and I NEVER want to go down that road. The Bible says the way of transgressors is hard (ref). Sanctification and discipline are difficult. But the way of a transgressor is... (see commentaries)
7. I know I will bring shame to Christ if I were to forsake my commitment to Christ. I would bring shame to His followers and my name would be added among the “hypocrites”. I would discredit everything I’ve ever taught or said.
8. Those who may “follow me as I follow Christ” would be led off a dangerous cliff. It would be a wicked thing for me to do.

No one can predict every trial you will have or what experiences may tempt you to waiver in your commitment to Christ. But what I can predict is this: what you value now and what you pursue now will be displayed when the trials come. If you desperately want to know God at the core of your being, trials will not keep you from seeking Him. They will only drive you to seek Him more!

Remind yourself of the specific sufferings Jesus endured—When I have to go without sleep, and I want to be irritable because of it, I remind myself of how Jesus wasn’t able to sleep for 3 nights before He was crucified (check this). I say to myself, “Jesus had to stay awake for days, followed by crowds of people, and knowing He was about to be betrayed, beaten, and killed. He dealt with their problems, even though His “problems” were much bigger. And He still resisted sin! I can endure this!”

We can endure anything God allows into our life, and we can use our trials as opportunities to fellowship with Christ and understand His suffering more. Oh, the trials will still be hard, but if we cling to Christ in the midst of our difficulties, and appreciate all He suffered on our behalf, we will know our Savior more. And that, beloved, makes it all worth it.

GOD'S SOVEREIGNTY AND SUFFERING

Joy comes from hope in our suffering. And hope comes from understanding God's sovereignty and the greatness of that to which He has called you. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers. But he said to them in Genesis 50:20: "As for you, you meant it for evil against me; but God meant it for good." Joseph hoped in God, because he knew God was working all things together for good in his life.

When Naomi in the book of Ruth left her country because of famine, both her husband and her married sons died before they ever had grandchildren. She came back to her land of Israel about 10 years later and announced. “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me...the LORD has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:20-21b).

She gave up hope in God's goodness toward her. But what do you think Naomi would have said if she understood what was really happening? First, her daughter-in-law Ruth had come back to Israel with Naomi. In fact, Ruth was so committed to Naomi she even told her, “For where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me” (Ruth 1:16b-17).

So Ruth comes with Naomi to Israel. Ruth then marries a relative of Naomi named Boaz. When Ruth gives birth, she gives the baby to Naomi to nurse as her own.

And as all this is happening, Naomi can't see what God is doing. But think about this: What do you think Naomi would have said, how would she have responded, if she realized this story, her story, was part of the history of the genealogy of God's own Son? Here is what Naomi didn't know: When her sons died, it was so that Ruth would remarry Boaz. And Naomi would nurse their son, who was not just any random person, but this son would become the grandfather of the great King David, and this grandson would be in the line of Jesus, the Almighty God, and her story would be remembered and retold throughout all history!

If her eyes were opened to all that God was doing in the midst of her suffering and through her suffering, what would she say? Maybe she would say like David, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.” Psalm 42:5

OUR RESPONSE

If only we could see the grand purpose of our lives when things get difficult, when our marriage is hard, and when trials come—if only we could see God's purpose. But right now on earth, we can't see all God is doing. And so we must believe and hope in God. And take comfort in the fact that God will use our every suffering for good in the end. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Chapter 13—When people don’t like you following Jesus

“That I may know him… becoming like him in his death, in order that I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” Phil. 3:10-11

I had sat through my classes all morning thinking of the verses: " When I say to the wicked, 'O wicked man, you will surely die,' and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require from your hand. But if you on your part warn a wicked man to turn from his way and he does not turn from his way, he will die in his iniquity, but you have delivered your life.”

Now it was lunch hour at Troy High School. I was a senior and only months away from graduating. The hallways on the school campus were carpeted, and freshman and sophmore students sat alone or in groups against the walls talking and eating. I went walking through the halls by myself, approaching people and handing them tracts. I was filled with nervousness. My stomach turned. One group after another gave me strange and annoyed looks. I was 17 years old, and I wanted to be pleasing to God at any cost.

To me, walking alone through the highschool hallways alone was a huge cost! I had literally given up everything I could to follow Christ: my friends, my reputation, my comfort, my looks to some degree (for the sake of modesty), and the praise of the world. And I traded those things to be an outcast of the world (? ref) because I had the better hope of resurrection from the dead.

Preaching the gospel is powerful because God’s says, “life and death are in the power of the tongue” (ref).  Our words are super powerful, more than we usually have any clue about or realize even in the slightest degree.

When I determined that I would be a woman who followed Christ at any cost, I knew I would have to forfeit any reputation I had of being popular, or even “normal” in the world’s eyes. In high school, walking with God was the most difficult thing I could have ever imagined. On one occasion, I walked down the school halls by myself passing out tracts and trying to preach the gospel to the teenagers sitting against the wall and eating lunch. I wouldn’t have done that if I did not feel compelled.

When Paul considered his mission of preaching the gospel, he said, “Woe is unto me if I preach not the gospel. For necessity is laid upon me.” He was compelled by necessity. At that time, I could not have imagined many things harder than becoming the biggest dork in the school.

Conformed to the Death of Christ

Before we move on to the resurrection from the dead, we need to consider what it means to be like Christ in his death. There are two interpretations of what this means that I’d like to share with you. Both of these interpretations are from authors I very much respect. Matthew Henry says that to be like Christ in His death is to die to our flesh: “We are then made conformable to his death when we die to sin, as Christ died for sin, when we are crucified with Christ, the flesh and affections of it mortified, and the world is crucified to us, and we to the world, by virtue of the cross of Christ. This is our conformity to his death.” (make sure this is a Matthew Henry quote ref.)

Another man I respect, John McArthur, explains this verse by saying that Paul, when he says he wants to become like Christ in his death is referring to a death for many just like Jesus Christ died for many people. If Paul died from torment or torture as a result of preaching the gospel, he would also be dying for all those who hear the gospel and especially those who become saved. When Paul dies like Christ it doesn’t matter how he died, only that he would be dying like Christ with that purpose and especially all with the goal above things that he would attain the resurrection the dead. (quote from my study Bible ref)

The Hope of Resurrection

A woman who is passionate about following Christ will long for the resurrection from the dead. Look ahead with me to the finish line. You see the end approaching and then you cross the line into eternity. As you stand before Christ Jesus, whom you’ve spent your life following and serving, He says to you, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord” (Matt. 25:23).  The greatest victory we will have is the resurrection of the dead to eternal life. Oh, beloved, what a happy ending that will be!

Now exactly what will eternal life be like? We know that we’ll receive glorified bodies that will no longer have this sinful flesh, and because we won’t sin, we will no longer have the sadness and the heartbreak that’s associated with our sin and the sin of people around us.  We will be holy. We will also be satisfied. When we have resurrection from the dead, we will awake with the likeness of Christ, and it is this very thing that brings us complete satisfaction! Psalm ref says, "I shall be satisfied when I awake with your likeness."  That’s what Paul strove for, that’s what drove his whole ministry. He lived his entire life with a view of eternity.

There are two types of of places that a person who dies will go. Everybody will go either to eternal life or eternal death. Those who receive eternal life also receive a heavenly glorified body and an inheritance that cannot fade away or be defiled. Our heavenly glorified body does not sin anymore.  It is eternal.  It is a body fit for heaven; a body fit for immortality; a body fit for incorruption.

Right now our bodies are fit for corruption. Right now if you were to live to 120 years old, you would likely go into the Guiness Book of World Records. It would be quite a spectacular thing because most of us don’t live to 120. Most of us don’t even live to 110. And yet that’s only a little more than a century. Our bodies are aging and corrupting.  I look in the mirror and I see that my face is just aging.  I’m getting wrinkles. I’m getting old.

We have bodies that corrupt, but we will receive bodies that are incorruptible. That means that when you get to heaven and you look in the mirror at your beautiful glorious heavenly body--and then when you look in the mirror 50 thousand centuries later you’ll look just as great. Your body is not going to corrupt for eternity. It’s a glorified version of your current body and when we receive these new heavenly bodies, in addition we will receive an inheritance that’s incorruptible, undefiled, that does not fade away. (ref)

Only believers receive this inheritance. It will last for ever and doesn’t get spent up. You know the blessing of an inheritance that doesn’t fade away is that you’re not going to spend it all, like if your uncle died and you get a hundred thousand dollars and a couple months later you wonder what happened to that money.

The heavenly inheritance is not like that. It never fades away. It’s never going to be spent up. You're going to enjoy your rewards in heaven forever.  You’re not going to just get your reward, go to the store, buy some curtains and a new pots and pans set, and have nothing left for the rest of eternity. Your inheritance will last forever and ever.

When I think about the joy of our coming eternal life, I can't help but remember there’s two places that a person can go.  There’s two eternal homes for all living. If you receive eternal life, you receive eternal joy, eternal holiness, an eternal glorified body, and an eternal inheritance.

But if you are repaid for your wickedness on earth because you don’t have the righteousness of Jesus Christ given to you by faith, the alternative to eternal life is eternal death. It’s an eternal body that dies forever and yet never ever dies. It’s continuing to die in a body that is tortured forever and tormented forever. The fire is never quenched. The pain never stops. Eternal pain, eternal torment, eternal suffering. The woman that lives for this life alone has missed the point of life entirely. This life is only the quick appetizer that prepares us for the feast to come.

Paul knew that because he lived for eternity, life was worth living. He wanted to please Christ with all he was because he wasn’t just living for the here and now--he wasn’t just pleasing Christ for five minutes--he was pleasing Christ because he knew that that this life counts for something. This life counts for forever. What you do right now counts for or against your forever. It counts for or against eternity. How you spend the next minute will determine--in part--your eternity. Wow! Wow! It's a sobering thought.

Getting Practical

When I think about living in the light of eternity and that this life is a vapor and how the things to come last will forever, I have to ask myself, Why I am doing the things I am doing? For instance, the issue of physical beauty comes to mind. If I want to look my best, why do I want to look my best? Is my desire to look my best selfish (to get praise from others) or so that I present myself as a modest, orderly woman?

A good question to ask yourself is: What is my motive for what I do? Am I doing this because I want God to be glorified? Is this something that will cause me to be rewarded in heaven? Or is this something I’m doing because I just want a better life right now?

Money is a good example. A financial struggle can cause distress and discouragement, among other things. This is especially true when we’re focused on this life. But when we are thinking of our trial as a vapor before the life to come, then financial worries are really not that pressing. Not being able to buy things really isn’t that sad. Not having something you want really isn’t a big deal because this life is just a breath.

When I am a woman who wants my life to count for eternity, I don’t worry so much about the hardships of this life. I don’t get easily discouraged when I think about myself not have certain things that other women have. Those things aren’t bothersome anymore because—just like Lazarus and the rich man—we are trading just a vapor of bad things for an eternity of good things and comfort. Yet in the story of Lazarus and the rich man (ref.), this rich man traded just a second of wealth and abundance and living for his own desires in exchange for an eternity of torment. And so what are you exchanging your life for? Are you going to take the good things now—the comfort, the pleasure, the ease, the covetous desires, the sinful desires, and getting what you want now—or are you going to deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow Jesus in exchange for the glorious eternity to come?

I want my life to have been fully profitable, to know I made “the best use of my time” REF.

I love how God provided a real life example to us—Paul. Analogy… what gave Paul such a fear of God? What can I compare with his fear of God? Our every action never dies away. We forget what we’ve done, but God has not forgotten. The thoughts, the motives, the zeal or the lack of zeal—all written in His books.

Chapter 14—Running While Wounded

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.’

I hung up the phone. My hand was still shaking. I knew I had been overly sensitive but it hurt so bad.  This was not the first time this person had hurt me. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Even before this conversation, I had been hurt by things they had said to me before.

Imagine a back getting stabbed. The next time the back is just punched. Then again it’s just a hard slap. But if the stab wound hadn’t healed, even the slap would cause a person to wince in pain.

It was sort of like that. I had already been hurt. Then something hurtful was said a few months later. The comments maybe weren’t as bad as the first time, but I must have had unhealed wounds. And so I winced in pain. Then a third time they said something inappropriate. It’s really wasn’t a big deal, like a strong slap to your back. But the wound was still so tender, so raw. And it didn’t just feel like a slap. It felt like a stab. I already had the first wound, so the third wound hurt far more than it ever would have hurt if it had been just a slap on healthy skin. And then finally one day they come up and bump me a little too hard and I wince in pain and fall to the ground . Not because the bump in itself was so painful, but because the wound was so raw and so unhealed.

It can be like that with emotional wounds. Someone comes and they hurt you once. It hurts real bad but you hadn’t been hurt by that person before, so you get over it quickly. But then something else happens and now you’re a little bit too sensitive. Then the third thing happens and you’re even more sensitive.  And the more they hurt you, the more painful it all becomes even if the injury is very minor. You’re already hurt in that area, so you overreact and get hurt far more easily than the occasion deserves. You’ve become far more sensitive than you need to be for what is really happening.

And repeatedly getting hurt by the same person can make forgiving them harder and harder each time. I realized I needed prayer. There comes a time when we need to let others know about our sin, so they can pray for us. James 5:16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” The next morning a friend called and asked if I needed prayer for anything. I didn’t want to gossip.  I didn’t tell her who it was that had done these things to me.  I didn’t even tell her the details of what they had done.  But I asked her to pray for me to be healed in this area completely. I needed her to pray because my own heart had a struggle that needed grace.

In between times of getting hurt, I didn’t meditate on what had been done to me. I thought I had completely forgiven them. I thought I was over being upset.  Then yet when something small happened, I was overly sensitive and I realized the wound was still there. And so I asked a friend to pray for me that God would heal me, so I would be over the pain completely.

Thick Skin, Tender Hearts

When I was at Bible College, a favorite teacher of mine, Pastor John Duncan, would say we need to have thick skins but tender hearts. After hearing him say that, I would pray that God would give me a thick skin so I would not be hurt or offended easily. A thick skin meant that being around me would never feel like walking on eggshells. And a tender heart means that we’re quick to love, quick to reach out, quick  to minister and quick to be open.

What’s funny is when I was giving birth myself to my second child, my daughter Tyla, I was in the hospital and the nurse tried to get the needle into my veins and she was really struggling. She was unable to get the needle in the right place, so she tried another needle in a new spot and when she finally got to the vein she went right through it. She tried with a third needle in a third spot and she went through the vein again. By her forth try she says to me, “You’ve got the toughest skin I’ve ever had to put a needle through!”

After I had my daughter and came home from the hospital, my arms were covered in bruises from all the puncture wounds. God answered my prayer very literally!  He gave me some tough skin on the outside. But I’m still praying God will keep making my emotional skin tougher.

Emotionally Tough Skin

The Bible tells us the answer to emotionally tough skin in Psalm 119:165, “Great peace have thy which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them.” (KJV) The Bible tells us that those who love God’s law, who love the Word of God, who meditate on it day and night, who cling to it, who make it their life—have great peace and nothing shall offend them. That’s the key. The NASB version of this verse says, “Those who love Your law have great peace, and nothing causes them to stumble.”

Dear One, a woman who loves God’s Word is not is not offended. She has thick emotional skin. If there’s something that’s hurt you, like I had been hurt, here are some things to do to get healed of those hurt, bitter, angry emotions.

1. Pray that God would heal you. Also, consider seeking prayer from others. Like James 5:16 says, find someone trustworthy to pray for you and hold you accountable for anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness.

2. Recognize your own debt that’s been forgiven.

If you’ve been offended, if something has happened, and maybe, like in my case the offence is repeated, it’s possible to feel like that anger you feel or that bitterness you feel is justified, that its understandable because what you’ve gone through is so painful. Maybe you feel like your unforgiveness is all right. It hurts so bad that you almost feel like you have an excuse to not forgive. You almost feel like maybe God will overlook your unforgiveness because of how badly it hurt you. Or maybe you feel like you’re intense anger in the situation is justified. So you tell yourself, “It’s okay. Hey, it’s OK. God knows. He understand me.”

What’s amazing is that none of those feelings are justified, when they are not in the right context. There are times when righteous anger and fear are justified in the right context. But other emotions, like unforgiveness and bitterness, never have a “right” context. If I’m bitter, it’s not justified. I know I’m not justified in my anger because the comments were hurtful to me personally. I would be defending myself. I wasn’t angry for her offense against God, but because it hurt me. Therefore, I know that I have no grounds for anger, bitterness, or any other similar emotion. My responsibility is to forgive her completely.

In Chapter ____ I told a story about a woman who went through a time of infidelity in her marriage. Her husband was unfaithful to her and she just couldn’t get over it. She couldn’t forgive him.  It was so painful. It hurt her so bad.  She was so torn apart that finally after years of torment and years of trying to work through it and forgive him, she finally just divorced him. And after she divorced him, she married again, She went through some trials of her own where she made some bad decisions and did some wrong things. She was finally able to come to a point where she saw she was just as capable of sinning as her ex-husband. She was just as capable of doing wrong things and making bad decisions as he was. It caused her to be filled with remorse for not forgiving him.  But by then it was too late. She regretted that she hadn’t been able to forgive him when he first hurt her.

And I shared the story about the man who was forgiven the huge ten billion dollar debt and yet he couldn’t forgive his fellow servant of a hundred dollar debt. And yet we often do the same thing. When we are hurt, when that girl hurt me, her sin against me is only a hundred dollars compared to the ten billion dollar debt I have racked up in my own sin against God. If God forgave me so mercifully, so graciously, then for me to be unwilling to forgive the debt of only $100, is just so unjustified. For me to be bitter or unforgiving or angry and think it’s OK for me to feel that way is wrong. It’s not OK for me to feel that way because God didn’t hold onto bitterness. God didn’t hold onto anger when He wiped my sin away.  He didn’t hold onto unforgiveness—although it would have been “justifiable” unforgiveness because I’ve sinned so greatly against him. He didn’t hold on to those things when He wiped my sins away as far as the East is from the West, when He removed my transgressions from Him.  We must completely release ourselves from any unforgiveness or bitterness or anger or hopelessness or worry and let those things go because we know what a great debt we’ve been forgiven of ourselves.

3. Desire to see that person blessed.

We take what’s wrong, maybe our unforgiveness or bitterness just the hurt.  You don’t think you’re unforgiving. It wasn’t until I was hurt again so easily that I realized I hadn’t gotten over the other times I had been hurt.  I didn’t think I was unforgiving.  It was me you don’t feel bitter, yet you know that when that person comes around again you’ll want to react differently than you would toward someone who had never hurt you. Here’s a good litmus test for unforgiveness: Some one has hurt you. You don’t feel angry or unforgiving. But if someone were to come to you and say some great news has just happened to that person.  Something wonderful just happened.  And if in the very bottom of your heart you don’t feel thrilled to hear that great thing happen to the person, then in there’s some unforgiveness there. But if you are just thrilled, and you are able to rejoice with them and not feel a bit jealous or a little bit hurt or a little bit thinking that they don’t deserve something so great to happen to them then you know that there’s still unforgiveness or bitterness. and so if you do have that unforgiveness or bitterness or any other feeling.  See that person blessed and that’s that’s the counsel that my friend gave me when I had told her to pray for me. She shared that when similar things had happened to her, what she a way to blessed people of Venice might happen inc that it was and said the new but s she went out of her way to bless that person. It was something I had forgotten. In my mind I said, “ That’s right.  I need to go out of my way to see this person blessed, to do good things to them, to want to see them blessed, to want to see good things happen to them.

4. Replace the wrong feelings with truth.

All the truth that you need to drive you to right actions and thoughts and feelings is in the Word of God. Loving the word of God gives a person great peace. Rest in God’s goodness toward you.

Psalm 1 describes a tree next to the river—a tree that is solid and unmovable. No storm can blow it over and nothing can carry it away. And the analogy is made to a person who mediates day and night on the Word of God. Our hearts need to be like that. Some one can come up to us and they can push us and shake us and no matter what they do, we just stay planted by that river.  We are at rest in God’s goodness toward us.

We are not moving around. We’re not tossed around emotionally because of how others treat us. Our hearts break when others are sad. We weep with those who weep. Our hearts our soft but our skin is thick.  When it us who is offended, when it’s us who is hurt, we’re not upset because we’re at rest. We know what a great debt we’ve been forgiven of. We see ourselves in the true light that God’s Word has shined on us and see that we’ve been forgiven, that we are capable of doing the same things that were done to us, and so we forgive quickly and easily. And we have peace in our hearts.

The difference is either you’re rooted and grounded in the Word of God and in his love for you, or you stumble and tip over when harsh winds blow. If your roots are deep and you love God’s Word, then when people hurt you, when bad things happen, you’re not moved. Your roots are so firm in the ground that no storm can move you over or push you down. You don’t lose it when the hard times come

And the hard times will come in life. Most people have some hard times. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7:14, “In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider—God has made the one as well as the other so that man will not discover anything that will be after him.” We don’t know if tomorrow is going to be good or bad. Be ready.

Now here is the answer to the question: How can I avoid getting overwhelmed by emotions like bitterness, unforgiveness, or anger? Just get your roots real deep. Get your roots so deep in God’s Word, so secure in God’s love for you, and so rooted and grounded that when those trials come, when painful things happen, your roots are secure and nothing offends you.

Then when you’re in those times when the sun is shining and the rains fall gently, these are the times to stock up your heart with the Word of God and get your roots as deep as they can go.  Those are the times of circumstantial rest, when you’re not in extreme trials. Those are great times to store up God’s word in your heart and to not fall asleep spiritually.

This also I’ve learned: When things are hardest in my life, it's seems to correspond to the times when I am so busy, so overwhelmed that I literally can't just sit and "wait" on God for refreshing. I have to meditate on what I already know. But when life slows down, and my heart can return to the Lord in rest, those can be the sweetest times. Even if the storm is raging outside, when my heart is refreshed in the Lord, life is good.

Chapter 15—Just take the next step. Enjoy Jesus today.

In the middle of summer a couple years back, my two middle children were part of an acting summer school class. The unique class focused on speech, pronunciation, acting skills, awareness, and other things that I thought might help my dear homeschooled kids, who still considered all social activities at that point to be almost as awesome as Christmas. We had been on such a tight budget for the prior five years that we were rarely able to do any class or event that cost money. I remember a year or two earlier, almost drooling when I read a description of an electronics camps offered at our community center, praying that one day my kids would be able to participate in those sort of events.

So I was extremely thankful as we pulled up to the fourth morning of the weeklong class. Thankful and rushed. I guess we didn’t have enough practice getting to events on time, and this one was both early in the morning and about twenty-five minutes from my house.

James got out of the car barefoot. “Get your shoes on,” I reminded him as I hurried to get my one-year old out of the car before any more time passed.

“I forgot to bring them.”

My heart sank. It would take me almost an hour to drive home and back, and my littlest one would probably spend the last thirty minutes of the drive crying in a way my heart couldn’t bear. She already struggled to stay happy while I drove to the class and back home twice a day. So I drove to the nearest shopping area and found a grocery store that was open.

At that point, I realized I had forgotten my purse and money at home. I searched the car for spare change and came up with around five dollars. With my baby in one arm, I asked an employee if there were any sort of sandals for sale. She led me to the only sandals in the whole store—giant one-size-fits-all sandals for men.

I didn’t see any other option at this point. I thought maybe I could also buy scissors and cut down the sandals so they wouldn’t cause my son to trip all day long.
At the register, I had about one cent to spare, and I thanked Jesus for that all the way to the car. Then I sat in my car, trying to cut through foam and make boy-sized sandals.

After I dropped the sandals back off at the class, I drove home feeling a bit deflated. It wasn’t that buying sandals was really a big deal, but somehow feeling so panicked had taken my joy away from the day. The drive home was beautiful. I normally loved looking at the green hills and the freshness of the day. But on this drive, I did not enjoy it.  I was too preoccupied with my feelings of failure at being a responsible mom.

Instead of refocusing on God’s provision in supplying just enough money, or the health of my family, or the blessing of my kids taking a class, I …

Catchy phrase about being present, enjoying today.

This doesn’t mean that we ignore the lessons. I needed this to learn to be better prepared. Since that event, I have been extra aware of shoes every time we have left the house.

But

Following Christ day by day

How we spend our minutes determines our days, which determines our years, which determines our lives. So what matters in life? What is worth spending the numbered days of our lives doing? What hobbies are profitable and which not advantageous to our pursuit of holiness? Do we make the best use of our time? With numbered days and fleeting years, how we spend each minute determines how we spend our lives. This chapter urges women to use their time, as much as possible, to bring God glory.

Bible verse or Bible story about this. (See pg 183 the best yes)

SUBTITLE

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Trusting God.  He will never leave me or forsake me. Part of trusting God is being content with what I have. Part of trusting God is obeying Him—especially with things such as meditating day and night on His Word. Part of trusting God in this life is looking forward to the glory to come.

But what is the main point of trusting God?

Trusting God means fleeing to God. Hiding in God for safety. Trusting God is taking refuge in God.

It is believing God will save us and deliver us. While some people put their trust in horses, chariots, or whatever (more modern day things), we trust in the Lord. That means our eyes are on God, not on these other things.

A strong rock, a hiding place. We can also trust Him with our emotions. Pour out your heart before Him. He is a refuge for us.

Trusting God also means that we are no longer afraid, Hence, Isaiah 12:2, “I will trust and not be afraid.” Cause and effect: Because I trust God, I will not be afraid.

Other things people trust in: riches. It’s hard for people who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of heaven. People can trust in a lie. People trust in their own understanding.

Trusting God is believing Him—often specifically to save us, protect us, etc.

God knows those who trust in Him.

Life is short. It is a vapor. The way we trust God as we follow Him is by running to Him when we need comfort. Realizing He is our comforter, our protection, our shelter, like a child who trusts his mommy to take care of him. We trust God to take care of us. To lead us in the right directions. To give us exactly what we need. Like a sheep who trusts his shepherd, and doesn’t want grass beyond the field the shepherd has chosen, in this way we trust in God.

We must trust God’s character even when things are difficult. None of us want things in our life to go “wrong”.Let’s look at each one of these reasons in greater depth.

1. We trust God is sovereign over every circumstance in our life.

For instance, I read a study of children and adults who live in confined enviroments, and the conclusion was something like, “people who live in smaller spaces don’t live as long as people with more room.” Or something like that. Which isn’t comforting when 5 people share 980 square feet and no yard. After reading this article, I began to doubt the wisdom of God in putting us all in this small townhouse. (I think I already said this.)

Part of the problem with questioning things—like circumstances—is that is leads quickly down a slippery slope. From questioning the wisdom behind this plan, the thoughts can quickly avalanche to jealously at people who have lots of space and large yards—which is covetousness. Or those thoughts can lead into plans to change the situation. Not necessarily bad, but they certainly have the potential to do so. Especially when the plans are along the lines of “how can I get rich enough to buy a big house?” And the Bible clearly says, “Labor not to be rich. (ref.)”

And then it all settles down into a general sadness, thinking something must have gone wrong somewhere.Is he not All Powerful? Yes. Then my questions have to also be answered with, “Then I will trust Him.” I guess it’s like Job who said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him. (ref.)”

2. we believe God is good.

3. We know God loves us.

4. We know God has power to protect and deliver us.

5. We know God is wiser than us. (and He knows all things.)

Why is it that we always feel like we need something more? Why is it, even though we have found everything we need in Christ, we still keep searching as if we haven’t? Why do I want to be beautiful, if I have all I need in Christ? Why do I want to spend more time with my husband if I have all I need in Christ? Why do I need to buy something that will make me happy if I have Christ, and He is all I need? Why do I think having more money will be more satisfying than the place I’m at now? Why do I want to be praised, noticed, loved, accepted, appreciated, important, beneficial, and impacting if I live for glorifying Christ alone? Are my desires sinful? How can I satisfy all these desires in Christ—practically. Or can they ever be fully satisfied on this earth through my relationship with Jesus. I don’t want to spend my life seeking something else that will never satisfy me like Christ. But I need to know HOW I can be satisfied completely. Or am I like my big blue bowl with the crack at the bottom—that no matter how many time I am filled up and satisfied through Following Jesus, I leak out and need refilling.

Chapter 16—An Acceptable Meditation

Verse—Let the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable, in your sight O Lord. REF

(Some of this is used in other places, so double check it.)

In my disconcerted state of mind I thought, “What would I do if I didn’t know God right now?I may have looked like a big dork to all those women (hopefully not), but God is my refuge. He is my glory—not giving an excellent spur of the moment book description while I'm "letting down" (nursing term).

I’ve had my share of times when I’ve embarrassed myself! But also there are times when we strive to look great in front of people. I would have loved to impress all those women with my book description.There are times when we want others to be impressed with us. There are awards we want to get. When I sold real estate, the company I worked for would have these grand meetings when the hightest sellers would be honored. And many agents set goals, and acheived them, that brought them those honors.

When you think about your dreams in life, what kind of recognition would you want? Or maybe one of your goals is to be promoted at work and make a certain amount of money, to show you that your company values your skills.

I realized that some people haven't yet identified what they want in life. Maybe you don't have any goals or definite desires. Or you haven't clearly identified what those dreams or desires are. Here is something I've found interesting: Most working people you talk to will tell you that they are not in their dream job.You've got to know what you want to get it. Or at least know what you want enough to know when you've got it. Goals can be very good. The Proverbs say (ref.) that without vision, the people perish. Vision drives people forward. Godly vision fills the Christian with motivation and endurance.

But while some visions are admirable, some are not. Following Christ and pleasing Him must always be the number One goal for any believer. Every other goal must not only follow behind this goal, but come underneath the scope of it.Maybe you have a secret goal--like you really just wish that you could be a famous actress in secular movies and have the praise of this world.If your desire is to be a part of the praise band at your church, for instance, is this because you really believe that it is something God wants you to do or because you’ll have more recognition and admiration from people? Look at your goals in the light of that this very question.And sometimes it's hard for  us to really know what that root issue is. God has given eveyone of us gifts to use for the body. We need to use those gifts. I pray everyday that I would do what pleases God. And I have to trust that He will answer my prayer. And when things come up, like when my husband, tells me to stop doing something I've set my heart on, I have to obey him and trust God is using my husband to direct my steps. I pray for God to be glorified because I know it's easy for me to all my pursuits, my goals, and my motives, and what drives me to serve myself, and then I wouldn't really be following Christ. I can’t follow Christ and follow myself. Or I'll be going in a different direction than what God has chosen for me.

GOD'S WAY ISN'T ALWAYS OUR WAY

If I’ve learned one thing in the trial of Todd's unemployment, this is it: My way is not always God’s way. I would have chosen comfort, but God chose trials.I would have liked my husband to have had a job at the beginning of this year. My own heart naturally assumes that God wants for me the same things I want for myself. NOPE.

You may want your sick child to get better. You may want your husband to get saved. You may want to increase your influence.

Our desires and goals must be based on a willingness to please God and glorify God. When the motive for your goals is to glorify God, you don’t care anymore about promoting your own reputation. Your reputation comes down to what people think about you.God puts a very heavy weight upon the motives behind our actions. We know our motives will either please Him or please ourselves. From these Scriptures, we learn that when we want some sort of favor or recognition from people we have wrong motives.  She loves the idea of having a reputation that proceeds her. Is her motive to bring God glory or is it going to bring Jane glory?

THE LOVE OF MONEY

Another example of a wrong goal, clearly stated as wrong in Scripture, is the love of money. Jesus said (ref.) we cannot love both God and money. If I devote my life to gaining riches, I am no longer loving God. Possessing riches is not wrong, but the love of money is wrong. (practical example of what it means to not love money while still making money, being wise, etc.)

Jay saves his money wisely. He takes good jobs that pay well. He is so skilled at budgeting and saving that on a pastor's income he was able to buy a beautiful house with cash. He may have very easily set goals. He may have said, I will save at least $30,000 each year. And then devoted himself to that goal. But all the while he did not love the money he was saving. He would not have complained against God had God taken the money away from him. He wanted to act wisely so that he pleased God. He wanted to save to honor God by having no debt.

Another person I know who honors God is very wealthy. The husband has been very successful in his career and is very wealthy. But he has given generously to missions and other worthy causes. He may have set goals, that his company would earn X dollars this year. But his heart was not consumed by the money. If God called him to give up the company, he would have so that God was glorified. But while on this earth, with money being the key to many earthly doors, he worked diligently and succeeded. The point is, we can earn a lot, give a lot, save a lot, but it all must be done with a heart that loves God and is earning, saving, and giving to please God and not themselves.

GOD IS JUDGE

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

God knows your heart and he’s the one looks to see if you were seeking his esteem or the esteem of men. If you’re seeking your own esteem, remember the fearful verses that promotion does not come from the east of the south or the west but God is Judge. He will set one up and put down another. (ref.) God will put you up or set you down according to his will, according to what He knows. And he knows your heart.God is the one who decides the course of life. God’s the one who gives. God’s the one who takes away. (ref.)The Lord gives and the Lord takes away blessed be the name of Lord.

Remember that if you seek to exalt yourself with the gifts God’s given you, God has the power to take those gifts right away just like Nebuchadnezzar. (see Daniel .) God gave Nebuchadnezzar glory and honor and riches and power but when Nebuchadnezzar said in his heart, "look at what my own hands have done," God took it all away for seven years.he ate grass. The hair on his head and his fingernails grew like an animals.  He lost all wisdom. Everything was taken from him because he stopped acknowledging God and began to take give the glory to himself. But after seven years he returned to the Lord and decided to acknowledge God gave him all he had, God did return the glory to him.

God will judge the heart’s of men. He certainly does know what drives you. He knows if you’re seeking his admiration for or not.  What about when I’m trying to serve God, I’m trying to honor God and I see all the people being driven by false motives and yet they are getting promoted and getting exalted? I know their motives are wrong and yet my heart I just want to serve God and honor God, and I’m being completely ignored? Whats going on?"

In Psalms 92 a think verses 56 for 6 1/7 the Bible says a stupid person has no knowledge. The foolish man does not understand that when the wicked are exalted it is only that they might be destroyed forever. You know when those people that have those wicked thoughts or those wicked motives are exalted, it is only that they might be destroyed forever.Remember this life is just a breath. Just a passing glance before we enter forever. And so when people are exalted, it’s just for a moment. When you’re not put into a position you want, and your heart is right before the Lord and your serving God, just remember its not the promotion in this life that counts.It doesn’t mean your reward isn't coming, only that it hasn't come yet. And it's much better to get rewarded in heaven because rewards there literally last forever. There might be far more waiting for you in heaven then all the people getting promoted now. And in getting rewarded now, they are possibly missing out on eternal rewards (ref. Jesus saying "you have your reward."). And there’s no going back.

SEEKING GOD'S ADMIRATION SECRETLY

The Bible says when we serve God secretly, He will reward openly. This is seen in our prayer lives. When you go into your closet to pray, and tell no one at church or in your Bible study group, God will reward you openly. (ref.) But when you pray secretly, you're not doing it for the praise of man. And God rewards heart that seek His praise alone. Again, this is seen in giving. Jesus said that when we give, our left hand should not even know when our right hand has given. This is to prove that God wants us to seek His admiration and not the praise of man.

My heart wants to really evaluate the motives behind everything I do and see if there are places where I’ve been driven by wrong motives. I must remember this life is a vapor. It’s not so much always what we do, but why we do it. (story of someone I know or I about doing something with the right motive unseen.)

Chapter 17—Content with the Mundane OR Called as Women

Often I have tried to live my Christian life as both a man and a woman. I have tried to do all the things men do in the Bible, and all the things women do also…

Even though we are free from having to fulfill the callings of men, there are some things that God specifically tells us we must do. One part of being a woman is the daily talk of keeping our homes. The Proverbs 31 woman is described as someone who “looks well to the ways of her household” (vs. 27).

While Titus 2 instructs women to be keepers at home, we know from other verses that this doesn’t mean a woman can’t work. Lydia sold purple—and she didn’t stop selling purple clothing just because she became a Christian. The woman described in Proverbs 31 managed a vineyard and land, sold belts to the merchants, sold other garments, managed household workers, and sought materials for sewing. These work-activities required her to leave the house. She is praised—not scolded—for her work.

Sometimes there are times when a woman must work outside the home and the husband is unemployed. Some men just really like housework and cooking. I have a good friend whose husband does most of the cooking. I have friends whose husbands do other home management activities. And Titus 2:4 does not mean that the husband can’t do those things, but a woman’s role is to oversee the home.

And while some husbands really enjoy housework, other men do not, and their “lucky” wives get to run their homes without any interference. Either way, the home is a wife’s place to have leadership. She is the Supervisor of the laundry. The Manager of the dishes. The President of the cleaning. The Executive Chef. You understand. Whether she does it herself or just makes sure it gets done, she is the CEO of the physical home.

TITUS 2

In one passage of the Bible specifically talking about some of the responsibilities of women, we learn that a woman is to love her husband, to love her children, to be self-controlled, pure, to care for her home, to do what is good, and to obey her husband (Titus 2:4-5).

I have a different role than Todd, but I have learned to love it. For the first year of our marriage, I worked full time and then for the next three years I worked in real estate. Those years taught me such a huge appreciation for getting to stay home. On many mornings I wake up and say to myself, “I don’t have to go anywhere today! I have so much freedom!”

On other days, I haven’t appreciated the special times I have at home, the labor of day to day, just because I’ve gotten bored and tired. But often it’s the “exciting” things that are the worthless, wasteful parts of life.

I heard a quote once that said, “Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and realize those were the big things.” Sometimes the most mundane things in life end up being the most important things. Mundane things like brushing our children's teeth consistently, putting laundry in the washing machine, sweeping the kitchen floor, reading the same storybook over and over are all very important. In the next chapter we wil look at some of the commands God has given specifically to women.

KEEPING THE HOME

Sometimes the most important things in life are the most mundane. I have let myself get careless with important things just because they get boring. It's the exciting things that are so often the worthless, wasteful parts of life. A woman confessed to me that she struggles with keeping her house clean. But she never misses a day of her favorite soap opera. The soap opera is exciting. Keeping the house clean is not. The soap opera has no heavenly rewards. Keeping the house with a thankful heart is pleasing to God and may just have a great reward.

Home-work can be eternal work. We show our love to God by obeying His commandments, even when they are hard and unexciting. So when God tells us to be a keeper of our homes, then that act is actually an act of service to God. And so following Christ in real life is about what we do as women that is pleasing to God—things that aren't glamorous here on earth—but have rewards in heaven!

So unfortunately I can’t seek God all day and not do the laundry and then hope it will be done for me. I can’t just go “serve” God all day and neglect my ministry to my family.

And while women are instructed to manage their homes, the Proverbs 31 woman helps financially in a significant way--and it's considered viruous! Sometimes men love helping at home. I have a friend whose husband cooks for her. I have friends whose husbands do other home management activities. And Titus 2 (ref) does not mean that the husband can’t do those things, but a woman’s role is to oversee the home. Some men dislike any home-work, and their lucky wives get to run their homes without any interference. The home is her place to have leadership. She is the supervisor of the laundry. The manager of the dishes. The president of the cleaning. You get my point. 🙂

Home-work is Eternal work

The Bibles says “seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” We know that when a woman follows Christ her heart has been totally given over to pleasing God; fully given over to being obedient to God. That means, she seeks both the kingdom of God and she is obedient to God--which is seeking “His righteousness”. We must do what is righteous in God’s eyes.

God’s righteousness includes obeying God. So unfortunately I can’t seek God all day and not do the laundry like my husband wants me to do and then hope it will be done for me. Part of seeking God’s righteousness is doing the laundry to honor my husband. When I’m seeking God’s righteousness, I’m going to do the laundry. The connection between righteousness and laundry is this: The Bible tells women to be keepers at home. Keeper’s at home means they keep the home--they keep the laundry done--well they keep the laundry reasonably done, or at least try. If you're trying to get keep the laundry done, you still get points. 🙂

A woman seeking God's righteousness is doing her duties according to Titus 2. And so following Christ in real life is about what we do as women that is pleasing to God--things that aren't glamorous here on earth--but have unknown rewards in heaven! Practical things we have to do in daily life like the laundry, the dishes, making food, taking care of the kids--all that fun stuff.

Briefly review the responsibilties of a woman: Titus 2, other verses, etc.

Also give an overview of what it means to be a wife and mother. Point to other books or my wife and mother books

Chapter 18—Rewards…

As I picked up the phone for the tenth time that morning, my heart also started racing for the tenth time. I hated making these calls! I had just become a real estate agent, and I had been instructed to call people I didn’t know in order to get clients. I cringe as I say it; but yes, I was telemarketing.

I had memorized a script, but no script could make me enjoy the rejection I usually got. Only one thing caused me to press on: the joy of receiving that first escrow paycheck. I reminded myself of that prize with every phone call I made, and with every no I heard.

Todd and I were the typical financially-broke newlyweds, having been married only a little more than a year before. Although Todd worked a full time job, money was more than tight. A real estate commission check would help pay our bills and leave money left over, so I kept making those dreadful calls.

Would I have put myself in the line of rejection fire if I had no reward to attain? Never! Without a worthy prize, I would surely have given up.

I was pregnant with our first son at the time, and because of God’s grace through those calls, I was able to rest financially just as our son was born.

Often obtaining a prize isn’t easy. I’m sure no Olympian has ever coasted through his or her training, but the prize to be won makes the strenuous effort worth it. Being an Olympic champion means more than getting a medal, and being a Christian means more than going to heaven.

This makes me realize that understanding the worth of our prize—the greatness of following Christ—is absolutely necessary for us to make this life matter! Unless the value of our reward is great, we’ll make no great sacrifice to attain it. But the worth of Christ is immeasurable, and so our willingness to strive to know Him must also be very great.

RUNNING WELL TOGETHER

But first, let me say that if you think it’s too late for you to have a chance at being a “good” Christian, it’s not. If you feel like you’re not good enough to ever be a “godly woman”, you must recognize that you’re not godly because of your own goodness. Your goodness has already been secured through believing in Jesus Christ as your Savior.

If you think you’ll never be as godly (or as effective, or powerful, or whatever) as “so-and-so”, know that you’re not competing with other Christians, but your pursuit is to be pleasing to God in all things.

At different times in my life I've seen people with spiritual gifts I could only dream of having. But we are all one body serving the Lord together, so I must remember it’s not a contest to be the greatest, but I'm serving God with them, so we can both win the prize of knowing Christ. Instead of comparing ourselves with other believers, our focus is on the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:14).

Now in any earthly race there is only one winner. How blessed we are that every one of us who discipline ourselves to godliness receives prizes. The Bible gives indications of many different types of heavenly rewards for living for God.

THE COMING REWARDS

There are prizes for serving God both now and in heaven. Everyone who has made Jesus Christ their Lord and Savior will win heaven; all who love God in Jesus will be rewarded with eternal life. But there is much more to be won. Here are some of the future prizes:

An Inheritance—The inheritance will be for everyone who is the child of God, because if we are God’s children, we are also His heirs (Rom. 8:17). This inheritance is described by Peter as “an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you” (1 Pet. 1:4). If an earthly inheritance is usually something great, I would have to conclude that our heavenly inheritance will be beyond our current understanding because of its majesty. And unlike an earthly inheritance, that can be spent all too quickly, our heavenly inheritance will never fade away. Our enjoyment of this inheritance won’t diminish its worth.

Crowns--Another reward will be crowns. Although we all get an inheritance, as part of our amazing priviledge of being children of God, mot everyone will get every crown. Picture the beautiful gold and jewel covered crowns that kings and queens wear. If the streets in heaven will be made of gold, just imagine how stunning the crowns will be! So here are the crowns and how to get them.

• Crown of Righteousness—The crown of righteousness will be given to everyone who loves the appearing of Christ (2 Tim. 4:8).
• Crown of Life—The crown of life will be given to everyone who loves the Lord and remains steadfast under trials, and to those who are faithful unto death (James 1:12, Rev. 2:10).
• Crown of Glory—Those who shepherd the flock of God’s people rightly will receive crowns of glory (1 Pet. 5:4).
• Incorruptible Crown—While athletes compete for a crown that is perishable, as Christians, we get a crown that is imperishable (1 Cor. 9:25).

Wages—Salvation can never be earned, but God does pay wages! These wages will be given according to the labors of those who cultivate the gospel in people’s lives. Jesus says it like this in John 4:36, “Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together.” This is restated in 1 Corinthians 3:8, where we learn that those who plant the seeds and those who water them will both get wages according to their labor.

Shining Glory—In addition to getting paid wages, in Daniel 12:3 we catch another glimpse of the rewards of sharing Christ: “And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” If any of us think we look good now, we don’t even compare to the glory of the stars!    This future glory is also going to be given to each of us simply because of God's grace. Romans 9:23 tells us that before we were ever born, God created us for the purpose of glory. And 2 Thessalonians 1:10 reveals the source of this future glory, that Jesus Himself will be glorified in us.

The Wrapped-Up Rewards--Sometimes we don't know exactly what the prize will be. When we open a gift, we usually don't know what is inside beforehand. We have the opportunity to gain one of those mystery prizes by passing the test when our deeds are tried by fire. If our earthly works turn out to be gold, silver, and precious stones, we get a secret reward (1 Cor. 3:10-15).

The Great Reward--A beautiful promise of reward is also given to those who are persecuted – I almost want to be persecuted and reviled because the promise is so sweet—almost: “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matt. 5:11-12). Persecution and mistreatment for the sake of the name of Jesus come with a hefty reward. We don't know exactly what this reward is either, but we do know it’s great.

The Prophet and Righteous Man's Reward—This has got to be one of the easiest rewards to get. Jesus simply said that if you receive a prophet because he is a prophet, you will get the same reward as a prophet. If you only receive a righteous man because he is a righteous man, you will get a righteous man's reward (Matt. 10:41).

The Good Steward's Reward—This reward is given to those who are faithful with what God gives them. In exchange for managing a few things here on earth faithfully, they will receive many things to rule over in heaven (Matt. 25:14-29).

The Heavenly Dinner Party—Jesus said that when you hold a dinner party or a reception, don't invite your friends and wealthy neighbors, because they can repay you, and that will be your only reward. Rather, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind, because they won't be able to repay you. Rather, God will repay you at the resurrection of believers (Luke 14:12-14).

The Giving a Cup of Cold Water Reward—Okay, this tops the easy list. If you give a cup of cold water to a child in the name of Jesus, you will get a reward (Matt. 10:42). Think about how many rewards you would get just from serving in the Children's Ministry at church.

And while I haven't even mentioned every heavenly reward, even this list is compelling. It is truly amazing to me that God prepares our good works in advance for us to walk in, enables us by His Spirit to do the good works, and then rewards us for what is ultimately His doing (Eph. 2:10, 1 Cor. 15:10, John 15:5). What a gracious God!

The Bible makes it very clear that our works are important. They don’t supply us with even a trace of righteousness, but they will supply us with magnificent rewards at the Judgment Seat of Christ. I've heard some people say that we shouldn't focus on rewards. If that were true, I'm pretty sure God would have told us. Instead, the Bible is clear that we will be rewarded, and we should keep this in mind. Notice the similarities in the following verses:

• “For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done” (Matt. 16:27).
• “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done” (Rev. 22:12).
• “Each will receive his wages according to his labor” (1 Cor. 3:8).
• “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (2 Cor. 5:10).
• “Whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free” (Eph. 6:8).

God will never forget what you do for His name’s sake. “For God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do” (Heb. 6:10). God will remember and repay us for the works we do in this life, but He alone is able to know our hearts and motives. When we live to glorify God, we will certainly be rewarded!

The rewards I’ve mentioned are certainly something for us to excitedly anticipate. But even greater than all these things are the rewards Paul mentions in Philippians 3:10-11, knowing Christ and gaining eternal life. These goals are our ultimate objective. They are much greater than any amount of money. And as I thought back to when I made those calls only to be rewarded financially, I wondered, If I was willing to sacrifice my time and risk being yelled at for riches which quickly fly away, how much more should I be willing to sacrifice myself so I might experience the surpassing value of Christ Jesus my Lord? Why am I sometimes more willing to risk shame for the sake of paying bills than I am for the sake of obeying God? Why have I been more willing to give an eight hour time commitment to a job than to commit to the labor of prayer for eight hours?”

IN VIEW OF ETERNITY

The more I understand how short my life is, the more I am able to live for Christ Jesus my Lord, instead of myself. I saw a beautiful example of this while my husband was out of work. During that difficult time, people sent us money and I was unbelievably blessed by their sacrifices. But one gift in particular really amazed me. Some friends of ours had recently moved back to California from Texas. While in Texas, the husband was unable to get a job. Near desperate, they finally felt that moving back was their only option. They had only been back in California a few months when we received a generous check from them in the mail. When I saw it, I almost cried. We only needed the money slightly more than them. I thought of all the things they could have bought with that money. Even now I have to hold back tears as I write this. Instead of adding to their earthly treasures, they stored up heavenly treasures. When I am too concerned with this fleeting life, I find it easier to spend money on wrinkle creams and vitamins and things that "preserve" this aging body than to freely give it away.

Instead of doing everything with a view of eternity, I can be deceived into getting caught up in the here and now. I forget that I don’t know who the most popular girl at Hallsville High School was one-hundred years ago. In fact, I forget nobody knows—or cares. But whoever she was, it was probably extremely important to her at the time, and now nobody even knows her name. But somehow I think my success matters, or that it’s important to get through life with everything on my agenda accomplished.

How easily I’ve forgotten that unless I’ve been pleasing to God, the most organized, productive life will have meant nothing. Unless I have the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, outward beauty is worthless. Somehow every one of us can get preoccupied with the here and now, and lose sight of anything outside our line of vision.

At age 17,  I did not wholeheartedly follow the Lord for many months. During that period of my life I still read my Bible often, and Ecclesiastes 1:2 fascinated me. It fit my life perfectly at that time. King Solomon wrote this verse at the end of his life, and I believe it really puts earthly pursuits in perspective: "'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless'” (NIV). The things we strive after, thinking they are somehow important, are often meaningless. When my heart was far from the Lord, all of life became meaningless. Even now, I can get caught up with meaningless things. I can worry way too much about the multiplying depth of my wrinkles. But when I get my glorified body, I won't care an ounce about how many wrinkles I had on earth. Nonetheless, I still try to take care of myself physically, but I do so knowing it really doesn't matter in the end.

I don't want to be consumed by stuff that won't make a difference in heaven. I don’t want to be on my deathbed and realize I wandered through life, pulling around suitcases filled with silly desires for things that don't matter. And the time for me to evaluate if I’ve been wholeheartedly pursuing the “upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Phil. 3:14)” is now! That means my whole heart strives for a life that does what God wants and not what I want. And it starts with the direction I'm moving toward. Is my aim in life comfort, success, or knowing God?

RUNNING TOWARD THE GOAL THAT COUNTS

We are all heading somewhere. You and I who love God are already moving toward eternal life. We are in the race—not the race to earn salvation (Rom. 9:16)—but we are in the race to know the God who saved us. How fast we run and how focused we are is up to us.

Winning by itself isn’t everything, but winning Christ is everything! I am so blessed that, as I desire to live for eternity, I know it’s attainable. When I daily choose to set my mind “on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2), I am running with my goal in mind. I do this best by meditating on the Word of God.

Recently I got some bad news that really upset me. A little misunderstanding about our finances and which bank account contained our money caused us to go $600 overdrawn. Over $530 of that was bank fees. I had also read the end of the book of Job that morning.  I started in Job 38, where God starts questioning Job about how He made the world. God is being sarcastic with Job, and I couldn't remember what Job did to make God so angry. (See www.katiehoffman.org/job.html to find out what exactly Job did wrong and to hear the rest of this story.) I decided I wanted to be like Job after God came and questioned him. I didn't want to complain about what happened. Instead I received enormous comfort from the words, "I know that you know all things, and no plan of yours can be thwarted" Job 42:2. In doing this, I was setting my mind on things above. I was looking at God's character instead of at my trial. And let me interject, it was God's grace that allowed me to read Job that exact morning. I don't always have such an easy time setting my mind on things above.

God allowed me to be focused on truth the day. I needed it, so I didn't swell up with too much self-pity. He's also the one who keeps me running the race. Both things are gifts from God. Another gift from Him is that He declared me righteous by faith, so it is impossible for me to earn any righteousness by how well I run. Because of these things, I want to do my very best, knowing it's Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13).

AVOIDING LESSER GOALS

And, Precious Saint, God will keep you running. He's given you His righteousness and “predestined you to be conformed to the image of his Son.” Just like He chose me and like He chose Paul (Rom. 8:29), He chose you, regardless of any past mistakes or shortcomings. Whether you have been saved one day or 70 years, and despite whether you’ve gotten miserably off course or you've been faithfully running, God wants to help you keep focused on the goal.

Earthly goals can be good. But being consumed by a goal or distraction--such as gaining wealth, worrying about past mistakes, being promoted or exalted, changing your husband, finding a husband, having kids, improving your appearance, getting a better education, becoming well known--can block the true goal of following Christ, which is a greater treasure than any earthly achievement. But when you understand the greatness knowing Jesus and gaining eternal life, these become your greatest priority.

I am sobered every time I think about how quickly life flies by, and how the finish line will be here much sooner than I expect. Knowing the extreme value of Christ Jesus my Lord must be the goal I fix my gaze upon. Nothing else matters when it is outside the realm of what pleases God.

A SAINT IN THE GRANDSTANDS

Remember the Apostle Paul, who wrote that only one runner wins in a race? Examining his life is an important part of racing to win. We are doing what other great athletes have done: performing better by watching and learning from the very best. Paul is one of those Christians at the top of his game. He told us to follow him, to run after him, as he ran after Christ. He said in Philippians 3:17, “join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”

What kind of life then, did Paul live, that enabled him to boldly say he was racing to win?  What did he do in his life that we can follow? Paul counted all things loss and sought to win Christ. The book of Acts and the letters Paul wrote in the New Testament reveal his commitment to following Jesus. Paul showed his persistence to obey God because he understood the value of following Christ.

Now Paul, who was first called Saul (Acts 13:9), was a Jew and a scholar of Jewish law. But he hadn’t always wanted to see Jesus exalted. Before his salvation, he did all he could to devastate the church. He entered into the houses of anyone who was a Christian, dragging them out and throwing them into prison (Acts 8:3). Not only did Paul want to see the Christians imprisoned, he wanted them dead! He breathed out “threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1).

In his anger, Paul went to the high priest and asked him to write letters to the synagogues in Damascus, giving Paul permission to tie up every Christian he could find and bring them to Jerusalem. Being given the letters, off Paul went.

Just before arriving in Damascus, a light brighter than the sun suddenly shone all around him. The bright light caused him and those traveling with him to fall to the ground. He then heard the voice of Jesus from heaven saying to him in the Hebrew dialect, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads” (Acts 26:14). In other words, Why are you kicking with your bare feet against sharp nails? I get chills when I think about this. Saul could never succeed against God's ultimate plan.

“And [Saul] said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord said, ‘I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you, delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles—to whom I am sending you to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’”

Acts 26:15-18

The vision blinded Saul. His companions led him by the hand to Damascus. After three days, a man named Ananias came and laid his hands on Saul, and when something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, he regained his sight. He stood up and went to be baptized. Without hesitation, Paul then entered the synagogues and preached. He confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus, proving to them that Jesus is the Son of God and the Messiah (Acts 9:20-22).

One thing that greatly blesses me about the story of Paul’s conversion is how quickly he was willing to follow Jesus without a second thought. He immediately went into the synagogues and began preaching Jesus to the people inside. Because he was convinced that the gospel he preached was true, he didn’t hesitate to obey God in delivering the message. Having been given a glimpse of the greatness of Jesus, he was compelled to throw himself toward obeying God without reserve. He had tasted the goodness of following God, and would forever seek after more.

Our greatest prize is also drinking deeply from the cup of intimacy with our living Savior. I think of times when I would lay on my bedroom floor overwhelmed with the comfort that God knows. He knows all that I am feeling. Or when I would read a verse in the Bible that reminds me, Hey, David went through this too. Or, Jeremiah felt the same way I feel now. Wow—that is refreshing! These times of great delight propel me to keep seeking my satisfaction in Christ alone.

FOLLOWING PAUL

How, then, do we follow Paul’s example and obey God without reserve? How can we be women who want nothing more than to do only what pleases God?

1. Understand the surpassing worth of following Christ Jesus our Lord. Determine to know Christ—to know Him through His Word, to know His power in your life, and to understand the greatness of His unchangeable character.

As a young Christian, I was fortunate to be around and see people who burned with passion for God. I said in my heart while I was a teenager, If I ever decide to follow Christ wholeheartedly, I want it to be with passion. So when the time came in my life when I realized I could no longer trifle with worldly pleasure, I knew it meant being a Christian who was zealous without reserve.

Knowing I had given up “so much” (oh, how little it all is in exchange for gaining Jesus) to follow Christ, I then wanted to do only and forever the things that pleased God. I wanted to be a burning and a shining light; a woman whose life could be written in a book and I would not be ashamed for others to read it. I wanted to be able to say, “I have fought the good fight. I have done whatever might please my Lord.”

The yearning to know God, the consuming drive to grasp His greatness and His goodness, still burns within me. I ache to know God more. My roles and responsibilities have changed over the years. I’ve gotten married and had children.  God has changed and refined me, but He is the same holy and exalted God.

The more we understand the priceless value of Following Jesus and of being chosen by Him, the more wanting to please Him will become inevitable.

2. Recognize the brevity of life and its eternal value. Our resistance to counting all things loss is lessened when we look at life with an eternal perspective. We have no individual guarantee of a tomorrow on this earth. It is not safe for us to put off obeying God or delay seeking to please Him. My days are numbered and how much time I might think I am—I am more motivated to follow and obey God at all costs.Winning athletes do what it takes to win, even though the prize won’t last past this life on earth. Christians will receive prizes that last forever, so it’s worth it to do whatever it takes to live to please Christ.

• Every believer will receive the reward of eternal life an eternal inheritance that can never fade away.

• There are several rewards that only some people will get, including the crown of righteousness, the crown of life, and the crown of glory.

• Wages will be paid based on each person’s labor.

• The degree of our eternal glory will be determined by our insight and how many people we turn to righteousness.

3. Be filled with the Holy Spirit of God. God created people to be His delight and bring Him glory. But instead of obeying God in faithfulness, humans have resisted His laws and chased after wickedness. Even the Israelites, God’s own chosen people, constantly went after other gods and worshipped them. They repeatedly were unable to remain faithful to the true and living God. Walking in the way of their own hearts, they repeatedly forsook the Lord throughout the Old Testament. With all the rebellion of His people, God could have wiped them out forever. People had repeatedly proved their inability to obey God, and God had every right to destroy every human on the face of the earth and spare no one.

Instead, God gave the Hebrews a beautiful promise. The day was coming when God Himself would dwell inside people, causing them to walk in His ways and obey Him. The day was coming when God would put His own Spirit inside frail human flesh and cause people to do what God required. God gave the following promise: “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules” (Ezek. 36:26).

The day when this promise will come is here. Paul says, “In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit” (Eph. 1:13). Because Jesus has ascended to heaven, the Holy Spirit has been given to all those who come to God by faith in Jesus Christ. This means that God puts His own Spirit inside believers, enabling them with His strength to be obedient and faithful. God Himself lives inside people! Astounding! Yet He does. And because He does, we are now enabled to do what pleases Him.

Why, then, would I say we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit if God has already given us His Spirit? Because we can quench the Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 5:19 says this: “Do not quench the Spirit.” The word quench is the Greek word sbennumi, and it means “to stifle, to suppress, to extinguish.”2 Think of a messy closet. Underneath piles and boxes of stuff might be a lost picture that was once loved. But the picture is suppressed, pushed back into the closet where it is unseen and unused.

What then might quench God’s Spirit? What can keep God’s Spirit from influencing our thoughts and actions? When we are not walking in obedience to what God has commanded us to do, we stifle the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

If I were to take the picture out of that messy closet and make it the focal point of my home, it would no longer be stifled or suppressed. Instead, the picture would be evident to all. In the same way, we must make God the focal point of our lives.

But we don’t want God to be only the focal point of our lives. We want Him to be our life! And as we make God the consuming focal point of all that we are and do, we will make room for the Holy Spirit to do His work in us, transforming us into the image of Christ.

Chapter 19—It’s Life With Christ or Bust

It’s life with Christ or bust.

To whom shall I go? You alone have the words of eternal life?

Have you ever had those moments where you just wanted to give up? Where you just wanted to somehow escape and be done with all the stress and pain of this life? In those times, one verse always comes to mind. “Where shall I go? You alone have the words of eternal life.” I think of Peter and Jesus, talking about…

And I think of my own life. I must follow. Jesus alone has the words of eternal life. Like Peter, even if I wanted to run, where would I go?

David said it this way, “If I descend into hell you are there…”

(A lot of this is used previously so a major editing and cutting is needed.)

What will it mean eternally to have been a woman who truly followed Christ? To observe the impact you have in the lives around you as God enables you to walk in the good works He has prepared for you beforehand, to have confidence in every situation because you know that God is for you, to have seen your husband flourish through your love and respect, to watch your children grow up to be devoted to Christ all the days of their lives,

The indescribable blessing of having a purpose in life, obedience to God, living with zeal like Paul the apostle, knowing your life is being lived for eternity.

(already used???)

When I was in the fifth grade, my dad wanted us to ride our bicycles down to the beach which was about 26 mi. away. It’s the closest thing in my life that I’ve done that I could compare to racing a long distance marathon race to win. We got on our bicycles early in the morning rode up from our house to Lake View by the Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Anaheim and jump on the bike trail from there. We began riding and we rode and rode. I think because of my age or somewhere in my mind I really didn’t have a huge amount of determination to finish.  What I really wanted, I think that the bike riding was fun and I would to ride as long as it was fun. But as soon as the riding stopped being fun I didn’t really care about riding anymore. And so as it stopped being fun, I would tell my dad I was ready to stop.  I didn’t really want to go to the beach.  It was just to accomplish riding to the beach. So I was riding and riding and I was getting hungrier and thirstier and we may have had some warm drinks in our backpacks but nothing that was refreshing or really tasted good.  Finally when we were only a mile and a half from the beach, I told my dad I was absolutely done. I was ready to give up.Then waited for my mom and sisters to pick us up and bring us back home. And that was the end of the ride. I never reached the goal. I think the reason I didn’t reach my goal is that I really didn’t run with the goal of getting to the beach in mind. it I didn’t really see any worthwhile reward in getting to the beach. There was no joy or excitement in getting to the beach. I didn’t feel compelled to do it. I think if in my mind somehow if I thought getting to the beach was a great experience, I would pressed on to finish that extra mile. I wouldn’t have been a big deal to finish it. But because I didn’t value the goal enough, I cared more about my physical body things like eating and drinking, those desires were far stronger than any desire I had to a finish my course.  And it’s like that in following Christ. If our desire, if our goal of running the race to win isn’t strong enough, then our physical desires will overtake us, just like Jesus said in the parable of the seeds. When the seed of the gospel falls on the third type of soil, the cares of this life overtake the seed and choke out the life. The weeds, the desires for money, the worries of each day, choked the life out of them.

A RUNNER’S MOTIVATION

I read different stories about the motivation that athletes have. what is it that drives them? what is it that makes them endure every sort of physical hardship? like the girl who won the Olympics with a broken ankle? or people who will do anything to win? what drives them with so much passion to win a race?

“Ask any athlete: We all hurt at times.To ask it not to ache would be too much.”

Jackie Joyner-Kersee

And their goal of winning is far more important to them that sitting down, resting, taking a break, taking a little nap during the race. A winner is dedicated and persistent and driven to win. And Paul the apostle was that sort of man. He was the type of man who was dedicated and driven because he kept his eyes focused on the goal. Whether an athlete is focusing on completing a marathon for the first time just to know they can do it. Maybe they are focusing on beating a previous score or they want the prize—they have a goal in mind. They are running to achieve that goal and it’s the same when we follow Christ. We have a goal in mind, like Paul, when he said, - 1Cr 9:24 - 27

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but {only} one receives the prize? The Bible also doesn’t give us an ideal or standard in this realm. I’d say a lot of the pressure we feel to “keep up” is far more from others and/or ourselves than from God. Housekeeping and meals and much of the work of managing a home are cultural more than they are anything else. In America and many of the first world countries, homes are typically bigger and filled with far more stuff than in poorer countries. Meal preparation is often different too. Which is why I think it’s wise not to set any specific standard other than what God says, which is “manage your home.” Be someone who keeps your home to the best of your ability and circumstances. The end.

WIVES AND MOTHERS

As wives, many of us are called to Motherhood. Because many wives share this blessing of being a mom, I want to take a moment to talk about this role. I think part of the reason that women are typically more emotional than men is because those emotions make us more tender, giving us the patience to lovingly care for our families.

Most nights when my husband Todd comes home from work, he spends time wrestling and play fighting with our kids. He plays with them in a different way than I do. When Austin, who is nine, wants me to wrestle, within 5 minutes I end up surrendering due to an injury! But Todd is able to be tough when I just am not tough enough.

Not only does Todd have the strength and toughness to wrestle, but as the dad, he also has a different role than I do as the mom. When we need the kids to really listen and obey, especially in the younger years when their character is first being trained, his manly authority gets remarkable results. There have been times when I wanted to step in and do the parenting things my way, but I purposed in my heart before I ever had kids that I would never interfere with my husband’s relationship with them (unless there was something horribly wicked happening or some situation along those lines). If my husband wants to take our daughter Tyla on a date and buy her more candy than I want to know about, I’m just happy he took her on a date. I believe that for Tyla to see us arguing over the candy she ate, that it’s far worse for her than the candy itself.

There is something about the relationship between a husband and a wife that shapes their children. It’s not just how your husband treats them and how you treat them that matters exclusively, but how you treat each other can affect them just as powerfully.

CHAPTER SUMMARY

• Part of God’s design for us physically are bodies that can bear children, nurse, carry a baby on our hip, etc.
• From the examples we have in the Bible, most of the women who are remembered for their godliness did things that were distinctly feminine—sewing clothes, bearing children, being a wife, teaching younger women, providing food and/or hospitality.
• Serving God by hospitality or motherhood is as valid and precious as serving God through evangelism or worldwide ministry.
• While we are called to tell others about Jesus, based on many of the biblical examples, this can be done in relationships or in personal conversations.
• A woman gets to be the CEO of her home. That is her realm. She is President of the laundry. Manager of the dishes. “King” of the bathrooms. Etc.
• Being a good keeper of our homes does not mean that we have perfectly clean homes, perfectly decorated homes, and perfect meals. Perfection is not the calling. Rather, the calling is to simply serve God by managing your home according to your abilities and situation.
• Some of the responsibilities of a woman include loving her husband, loving her children, being self-controlled, pure, caring for her home, doing what is good, and obeying her husband.

God seeks godly offspring. In other words, part of God’s general purpose for wives is to raise godly children. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then {do it} to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”

Paul didn’t run aimlessly. He was focused and self-controlled. He did not want to be disqualified. He ran to win.

You can have satisfaction in this life by how you live for Christ. by how you walk in the good works that God has set before you to walk in. And how you keep yourself from sins that would dishonor Christ. and how you press forward even in the toughest of times, so that your life is not in vain. so that you don’t, like Paul says, lest after preaching to others, you wouldn’t be disqualified. That when it’s all said and done—on the Day of Judgment—like when they award the Olympic gold medals, we’re there and we’re rewarded and Jesus says, “well done my good and faithful servant. Well done. Enter into the joy of your Lord.” (ref)

story about my school assembly

When we get to heaven, there may be some surprises. I’m sure there will be because eye has not seen, nor ear heard what is to come. Only by the Holy Spirit of God do we have any glimpse or any understanding of what heaven will really be like in all its fullness.  We don’t even know how great the rewards will be. we don’t know what the end of the journey will be like. but we know the journey is ending soon. This is a vapor. that eternity is soon. That our lives are just a breath. We know that the time is short. We don’t have much time to really live for Christ in this life. And yet this life determines our eternity. It determines our forever. And when we stand before God on Judgment day, we want to have made it worth it. We want to have made every second count. So that when our works are tried by fire, there is much gold and silver and precious stones that remain. That we have been faithful followers of Christ. That we can look back on the good works God prepared for us and rejoice that we faithfully walked in them.

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Okay, I was thinking today about how blessed I am to know how to walk with God and stay committed to Him even during trials, how to be joyful even in bad times and not fall into deep despair even when I’m really tempted, how to understand and believe what the Bible says when I read it, how to cling to God as my strength each day and turn to Him for my motivation for all I need to do, how to depend on His strength to be loving, forgiving, and patient even when it is hard, how to discern error in Christian doctrine and know what is Biblical truth, how to discern if what somebody is saying is true or not, how to discern when something is legalism, undue liberty, or holiness, how to present myself at any new church I go to, how to feel confident in any situation, even though it may be an uncomfortable situation, how to pray the prayers God answers, how to faithfully study the Bible, how to get a WHOLE LOT out of my time spent studying the Bible—to walk away from that time feeling refreshed and invigorated, how to rejoice in the day to day of life, how to know what is appropriate for a Christian, how to quickly judge if a ministry is Biblical or not, how to never doubt my own salvation—but to first make my calling and election sure, how to know and believe it is God who works in me—though I still work as hard as I can, how to get over it once I’ve sinned and confessed—and not walk around in condemnation, how to advance in Biblical knowledge above my teachers, how to understand which priorities are most important, how to make the best use of your time, how to not get burnt out in ministry, how to not lose hope in life,

First, it is by the grace of God that I am who I am and His grace upon me was not in vain. These things are issues that many women I meet don’t have a good grasp or understanding about. And many of them don’t even know it.

I want to give my best information, my very best secrets and knowledge about these things in this book—so women can be where I am and even exceed me in their walk with the Lord and their love and obedience to Him.

Chapter One

1. Matthew Henry, Commentary on Acts 9
2. Strong’s Lexicon, Blue Letter Bible, www.blueletterbible.com

Chapter 2

1. http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/ 2000/42_Learning_to_Pray_in_the_Spirit_and_the_Word_Part_1/

Make sure that at this point, the option to review comes up on Kindle and also my other books come up.

Resource/Tool…

Extra Material

The fragrance of Christ—Godliness where we might not see it

Last night I went walking with two friends around a track near my house. After forty minutes of very brisk walking, my friend said to me, “What perfume are you wearing?” Completely shocked, I answered that I wasn’t wearing any perfume. Rather, I was pretty sure if anything I smelled like whatever would be the opposite of perfume. After another lap she mentioned again that something smelled really good and it seemed to be coming from my direction. We thought maybe the smell came from the wind, or … But I began to think, I always figure that if I have a smell, it wouldn’t be good, that my breath smells, that … And as a believer, I figure that my life is normal, that people probably don’t notice the fragrance of Christ from me.

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things?” 2 Corinthians 2:14-16

To some I may be the aroma of death, but to others I am the smell of life. I may not always know

Our other friend mentioned that she had on a flowery perfume, and we thought maybe that was the smell.

Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul the apostle told us to follow him even as he followed Christ. (1 Cor. 11:1)  And Paul certainly did follow Christ!  He was beaten with rods, stoned, starved, and he spent a night and day in the ocean; all for the sake of the gospel.

You may think, “I could never live like the bold and seemingly fearless Paul the apostle.”  But I find a certain biblical fact very encouraging.  Just like Paul, we have been blessed “with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Eph.1:3).

We’re coming from the same place of depravity as Paul. Our hinderances are the same as Paul’s.  We are all encumbered by weak flesh and a sinful nature. But, as believers, we’ve been given the same Holy Spirit!  If anything, it’s not that we can’t follow Christ and Paul, it’s that we’re unaware we can!

Someone who is starting to feel lost. Like they are losing sight of how they can live for Jesus because they have so many things on earth to worry about. They feel like their life isn’t counting.  They wonder what happened to their dreams of following Jesus and living sold out for Him. Like they are not doing anything significant and they feel depressed about it. To refocus their gaze on how they can live for Jesus today, how they can make life count in the place they already stand.

What am I telling them to do today? To begin praising God for the place where they stand. To believe that God holds their life and is right where they are—that He is still completely at work though their life doesn’t seem spectacular. To be fully obedient to God.

What can I do to follow Christ better when I feel like I am already giving all I have? Dream—to live famously for Christ—not necessarily to be famous, but to live one of those lives they write about in Trial and Triumph. To be an example of godliness. To be the one that God says, She’s a woman after My heart. To be the one whom God says, “With her I am well pleased.” But feel like I’m so overwhelmed with things that don’t matter that I will never get to doing what does matter. That I’ll never be a missionary or an evangelist or lead anyone to Christ because I can’t even keep the laundry done.

Feeling like a failure, wanting to give up but where can I go? HE alone has the words of eternal life. Seeing everything I am doing wrong everyday.

Fasting and prayer makes such a difference.

Tit 2:14

who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.

But I praise God that He also gives me grace to praise Him during times of distress as well. I have to war against my flesh, to… During one of those times when I felt overwhelmed, I remembered that God says, “praise Him REF” so instead of murmuring, I gave my pain to the Lord and praised Him for how He will use it in my life. I thanked God for using this in my life for good. I praised Him for being both the author and finisher of my faith, and knowing what I need each day to reflect His image.

God worked in those praises and gave me hope for … He answered my heart’s cry as I trusted Him and as this moment the storm I found myself in is at rest… Praising God reminded me of His goodness, and it allowed me to believe … While I may not always know why pain comes or why l make mistakes that I fight so hard to avoid, when I praise God for what He allows, He gives me grace to keep running.

But I run to win when I determine to thank God and trust Him for everything that happens in my life—even what I view as failures or mistakes or bad advice—because I know that this life is not my forever home. My goal is not to be comfortable, to avoid trials, or to be satisfied here on earth. My goal is to know Christ. And if it takes the discomfort of a broken heart or a medical condition or a constant life struggle so that I may know Him and the fellowship of His suffering, then let me rest in the discomfort. Let me be found praising Him in the pain.

So much of my struggle to keep my eyes on the ultimate goal happens in my heart. Will I praise God today and live with a thankful heart, or will I feel sorry for myself because I’m not happy about something?

If we … I need a long story to wrap up this chapter (that makes you cry) about what it looks like to follow Christ. Or to praise Him in difficult times.

These …, by how you walk in the good works that God set before you to walk in, how you keep yourself from sins that would dishonor Christ, and how you press forward even in the toughest of times. I pray often that when all is said and done—on the Day of Judgment—I might hear Jesus say, “Well done my good and faithful servant. Well done. Enter into the joy of your Lord.”

But we know the journey is ending soon. This life is a vapor and eternity is soon. Our lives are just a breath. We know that the time is short.

We don’t have much time to really live for Christ in this life. And yet this life determines our eternity. It determines our forever. And when we stand before God on Judgment day, we want to have made it worth it. We want to make every second count. So that when our works are tried by fire, much gold and silver and precious stones remain, because we have been faithful followers of Christ.

When we get to heaven, we will experience greater joy than we’ve ever known before. And the greater our obedience to God, and the more we’ve walked in the good works He prepared for us, and the more faithful our persistence in running the race, then the more blessed we will be on that day when we stand before God.

In our pursuit of holiness, we often separate seeking God from daily life. We compartmentalize our time with God. We have spiritual times, and that’s when it feels like we are making our lives count. And then we have the rest of our time, spent doing the “meaningless” tasks, the time that isn’t counting for much. I forget that I can do both—make my life count while loading a dishwasher, while reading “The Monster at the End of This Book” to my toddler, while doing the things that don’t seem spiritual at all.

I have no individual guarantee of a tomorrow on this earth. One thing that made me obey God more fully is that I began to recognize that life has no purpose outside of Christ. But in Christ, I can make my life count for eternity.

It is not safe for me to put off obeying God or delay seeking to please Him. My days are numbered and only God knows how much time I have left.

When my own heart has given serious thought to what life really is, what it means to dwell on an earth with over 7 billion other people, and how I’m really not as significant as I might think I am, I am more motivated to follow and obey God at all costs. I know that if I am doing what pleases my Father, my life will have been worth living, and the things God can do through me are greater than I can comprehend. The more I understand how short my life is, the more I am able to live for Christ Jesus my Lord, instead of myself.

The one who wants to make her life count stays aware of the attitude of her heart. I want to obey God by trusting Him, but I’ll get carried away with the emotions of each situation if I am not focused on why it matters if I’m…

Sometimes we think that living for Christ is about telling the world about Jesus when that day it may mean we simply believe God is good and keep praising Him when we find a trail of ants throughout our pantry and get a red-light ticket in the mail and realize that you forgot shoes for your two-year old when you arrive at your children’s end of year party. In chapter 1 we talked about how we could make our lives count when it seemed like the activities we do are so “unspiritual,” and it is our heart in the midst of everything we are doing that really makes all the difference.

[1] Philippians 1:6

[2] Hebrews 12:2

[3] Philippians 3:12 (HCSB)

[4] Ephesians 5:16-17

[5] A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God (

[6] Galatians 5:7

[7] 1 Corinthians 10:6-11 NASB

[8] Numbers 11:4-34; Psalm 78:30-31

[9] Exodus 32:1-35

[10] Numbers 25:1-18; The passage in Numbers says 24,000 died and the passage from Corinthians says 23,000 died. My thought is maybe it was around 23,700. So one person thinks of the first two numbers and the other rounds up.

[11] Numbers 21:5

[12] Numbers 21:4-9; Also see John 3:14-16

[13] Numbers 16:1-50

[14] The First Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians; Commentary by A. R. FAUSSET, http://www.blueletterbible.org/Comm/jfb/1Cr/1Cr_010.cfm?a=1072006

[15] The lovingkindness of God referred to in Nehemiah 9:17 occurred before the admonition in Deuteronomy 6:12. However, the prayer in Nehemiah 9:5-38 references God’s great compassion toward the Israelites even after they possessed the land and again forgot God.

[16] Psalm 139:23-24

[17] Psalm 119:18

[18] I can’t remember whether or not that was in terms of profitability, or number of agents, or some other factor.

[19] 1 Corinthians 1:26-27

[20] Ecclesiastes 10:19c

[21] Matthew Henry, Commentary on 1 Thessalonians 5:18; http://biblehub.com/1_thessalonians/5-18.htm

[22] Luke 9:23

[23] Not including adultery in this. God makes exceptions for divorce in the case of adultery.